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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy a "Just Married" card for a Civil Partnership?

20 replies

sittinginthesun · 15/07/2011 13:26

It just says to the Happy Couple, but says "Just Married" as part of the picture on the front. DH thinks is OK, but I'm not sure.

Cheers.

OP posts:
TobyLerone · 15/07/2011 13:29

I think it would be fine. Although you can get some great Civil Partnership cards online. Paperchase sell nice ones too.

PissesGlitter · 15/07/2011 13:30

you can get civil partnership cards

i wouldnt get the just married one if it was me

MrSpoc · 15/07/2011 13:31

Why not i thought civil partnership was just marrage? Why seperate it

motherinferior · 15/07/2011 13:31

I'd get a CP one. It's probably absolutely fine, but you're right, they may either feel that they can 'only' have a CP as opposed to a marriage; or that they want a CP instead of a marriage.

(FWIW, I might well consider a CP with my male partner in preference to a marriage!)

AMumInScotland · 15/07/2011 13:32

I think it's fine, unless the couple have strong views about the fact that it's not the same as a wedding - either that they feel they ought to be allowed a same-sex wedding, or that they wouldn't want such a thing if it was available. But provided they haven't expressed any strong feelings, I'd say go for it.

motherinferior · 15/07/2011 13:32

CP isn't marriage. It's a slightly different deal. Some lesbians and gay men feel v strongly that they are being fobbed off.

And other people, like me, think it's rather glorious not to have all the associations of marriage!

eurochick · 15/07/2011 13:37

Just get one that says "congratulations" or something to avoid opening a whole can of worms!

mumblechum1 · 15/07/2011 13:37

You can get some nice CP ones in John Lewis.

Kewcumber · 15/07/2011 13:39

well it depends how th ehappy couple feel - if they are talking about getting married then a just married reference is just fine if they only talk about their "civil partership" then I guess it would be polite to get a card which doesn;t refer to marriage.

MsTeak · 15/07/2011 13:40

Depends on whether they referred to it themselves as "getting married" or something. I prob wouldn't though to be cautious, al ot of people do feel (rightly enough IMO) that CP is a second-class sop rather than equality.

titchy · 15/07/2011 13:42

I agree with you. Get a CP card. Why wouldn't you - it not as if they don't exist!

Kewcumber · 15/07/2011 13:46

No-one has yet explained to me teh practical differnce between marriage and a civil partnership for someon like me who ould always marry in a civil ceremony.

What is the difference?

sparkle12mar08 · 15/07/2011 13:48

I'd stick with a CP card if you can get it tbh.

Unfortunately a civil partnership isn't exactly the same a marriage, and currently only same-sex couples can have a civil partnership, not mixed sex couples. To quote that glorious phrase - "the law is an ass" on this subject.

One would hope we will eventually see the day when mixed sex couples can also have civil partnerships too, though I doubt the Churches of any denominations will ever open up marriage to same sex couples.

sparkle12mar08 · 15/07/2011 13:49

There isn't a practical difference really, in terms of protection of the law for next of kin, pensions etc all that stuff. It's just that currently marriage is legally between a couple of different sex, and a civil partnership is between a same sex couple.

MsPlaced · 15/07/2011 13:50

The difference is its not marriage. Hetero couples can choose whether to have a civil or otherwise marriage, which are both recognised in law as a marriage. A civil partnership only allows a civil cermony and is determinedly Not-A-Marriage.
They quite simply they do not have the same status under law.

TobyLerone · 15/07/2011 13:52

The word 'partnership', as opposed to 'marriage' was chosen specifically so as to avoid causing offence (as much as possible).

It is basically a marriage, but there are subtle differences. I believe the controversy lies with the political aspect:

"Ministers are very careful to avoid using this kind of shorthand - it's almost certain that had they wanted to use such language in the legislation, the Act would have had a far harder time. They stress partnerships are an entirely new legal concept."

(from here)

But a lot of people confuse a civil marriage ceremony with a civil partnership. They are not the same, for the reasons stated in the linked article.

itsybitsy08 · 15/07/2011 13:52

I think if they refer to it as 'their wedding' rather than 'their civil ceremony', then a just married card is fine.

vmcd28 · 15/07/2011 13:56

why get a "just married card" when there are loads of CP cards on the market? Get moonpig or whatever it's called to do a personalised one for them.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 15/07/2011 14:00

A married one would probably be fine but I'd play it safe and stick to a CP one.

Original poster
sittinginthesun · 15/07/2011 14:45

Thanks everyone. Think my gut feeling is about right. xxx

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