to think that the bitch he cheated on us with should not be called Auntie?

[L8rAllig8r]

DS (2.5) saw his dad today, and when he dropped him back I asked DS what he'd been doing today as I usually do, and he said 'I saw Auntie ***' - which is the filthy little slag ex cheated on me with. I am over him and if it were another girl I wouldn't mind but she knew we were together and she went after him anyway while I had PND and I have since tried to be civil, even friendly to ex, even though I hate him, for DS's sake, but to hear DS call HER Auntie just made me so bloody furious that I just walked away with DS and refused to speak to him. She is not his fucking auntie!!! She's a homewrecking little bitch.

I know it wasn't the best reaction but it was a snap decision, no time to think it through and now I don't know what the next step should be. He is unlikely to contact me as he is an arse about these things, refuses to discuss anything and I still feel too angry to contact him. AIBU to not apologise? TBH I was already cross as he gives me the bare minimum maintenance for DS but turned up today with 3 new shit tattoos, and this just felt like the last straw. Arrgh!

I don't think it's weird for DCs to call close friend elders Aunty A / Uncle B,

However, I do think it's wrong for your DC to be encouraged to call his Dad's girlfriend this, as others have said what about if/when she becomes stepmum?

You seriously are not over him. Which is understandable but worth understanding.

As for what your next step would be...why does there have to be a next step? What are you trying to achieve?

If he tried to get your DS to call him "mum" then fair do's. But Auntie's a pretty generic term nowadays. My sister & I were practically taught to call anyone who is a lot older "Auntie" or "uncle"

It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. You confronting your ex about this will result in one of two things or maybe even both:

1. He'll use it as a shining example to his GF of what a psycho you are (in his opinion)
2. He'll escalate back.

Neither ends well and aside from that moment of pleasure you get whilst you "stick it to him", it'll just end up with you feeling aggrieved still.

Rule 1 of being a single parent. Learn to choose which battles to fight. This is not one of them.

Maybe a little suggestion that he doesn't see her as a long term relationship if he wants your son to call her auntie...

YANBU.

Sort out your maintenance though and go officially if he won't pay it voluntarily.

I find a woman calling another female a "dirty little slag" far more offensive than a 2 yo calling an adult "Auntie" as a courtesy title.

On those grounds alone YABU.

I think you are, understandably, very upset about their relationship and are using this as a reason to be angry. You know this isn't the real issue and not that important.

I would be far more concerned about the lack of maintenance than her being called 'Auntie', I agree with NiceDad, what are you really going to get out of fighting this battle, except more hostility, name-calling and upset, so for your own blood pressure and self-protection, I would just let it go (you've said what you think). And, perhaps you feel his dad has had it 'all his own way' but actually your son lives with you which is the best thing of all, I don't see how he's a big winner really and I think I'd try to restrict your input to just sorting out genuinely big stuff about your DS.

Of course she shouldn't be calked auntie, homewrecker is suitably descriptive without resorting to swearing. Evil bitchwhore was the 'in my head' title I used to use, but I had issues

However, use it only in your mind, or on fora like this.

Tell your ex that it's confusing for a child to call somebody an aunt when they are not a member of the family, and that perhaps her name would be more suitable?

Good luck.

Understand how awful it must be, but YABU.