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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be planning revenge 4hrs later

46 replies

partyhat · 14/07/2011 16:44

live up a quiet road in a rural village which leads to a caravan site. was strapping DS3 into his seat lunchtime when 4x4 came along and honked horn for me to get out of his way ( he could have passed if we was a better driver, anyway) I signaled that I was strapping son in and he just said should have him on the other side then shouldn't you. the bloody cheek, I was parked by the pavement outside my own house.

I got in my car and then followed him to the caravan site and asked him who he thought he was etc etc etc. But of course he was in the right and did not apologize at all, so still feeling annoyed and want to go and put some ketchup on his precious caravan door handle tonight!!!!

OP posts:

Bandwithering · 14/07/2011 17:10

Road rage can make you crazy though. I did something I'm a bit shocked by. About 12 years ago I was about to cross a road and I was standing between two parked cars looking out on to the road. Suddenly the driver of one car started reversing. ONly that I was young and fit I was able to get my legs out of the way really quickly by putting my hands out on to the window of his car and the car he was about to reverse me into. I lifted up my legs and he carried on reversing until he 'bumped' the car.

He got out of the car and started shouting at me! I saw how old he was (70ish) and that together with the fact that he'd nearly amputated my legs and was arrogant enough to shout at me........... i saw red mist and I shouted at him, called him and called him incompetent, a danger behind the wheel. When he would not back down and apologise I lunged at his car keys and forced them off him. He was holding on to his car keys for dear life but I prised them out of his old gnarled claw and ran away with them. I was still seething for days. NO idea what he did, if he went to the police and reported me or what.

This is not very mumsnetty behaviour. I was a right bolshevic pre-kids

Original poster

partyhat · 14/07/2011 17:10

Thanks Bandwithering! This is not like me at all, wasn't even in a bad mood or stressed before the event. I just had to go and ask him why he had to be so rude, but didn't swear at all and wasn't especially aggressive (being nice rural folk that we are), just wasn't going to take the cheek of some one who was obviously on holiday and in no rush to be beeping at me going about my daily business. Rant over!!!

As for the safety - it is v v quiet here, apart from the bloody caravan season (who think they own the place)!!

OP posts:

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 14/07/2011 17:11

I'm guessing when you say he honked you mean a lot. Because honking the horn is what he's meant to do if he thinks you've not seen him. If he came on an obstruction in the road caused by the open door of your car, yes, he could have waited. But if he thought you hadn't seen or heard him, he's meant to honk to let you know he's there.

I'm really confused why you are offended but it sounds as if he did more than you've said in the OP?

Bandwithering · 14/07/2011 17:12

So what I'm saying is if you egg his caravan I want judge you.

gapants · 14/07/2011 17:16

You should not have followed him, but he was rude to speak to you like that. I have to have the car seat on the "wrong side some times and we just deal with it. My son exits/enters the car on the pavement side. but sometimes i am on the road strapping him in. It is not possible for me to reach across.

TheRhubarb · 14/07/2011 17:17

Sorry, but if you see a car door open and a mum strapping her child into the car seat you do not honk your horn. You wait patiently and give her a cheery wave as you pass by. Not only did he honk but when she explained she was just strapping her son in, he had the bloody cheek to tell her how she should be doing it!

How about he go back to driving school to learn some bloody manners!

Grrrr!

I hate impolite people. I hate it when I let someone pass and they just drive through without nodding, or 4x4s on a narrow road that hurtle towards you and expect YOU to drive into the ditch because THEY own the road and won't slow down. I also hate drivers who hassle other drivers and drivers who honk their horns at bikes (some woman driver honked at my 10yo dd who was doing a sponsored cycle for the Pakistani floods).

Something happens to people when they get behind the wheel and they turn into morons. Not everyone obv, but some people.

Well done for confronting him! He sounds like a right bully and there should be more people ready to stand up for manners. Why should you back down? You pay your taxes too, it's a public highway, why should you go out of your way to make it easier for drivers to speed past?

YANBU

alphamummy · 14/07/2011 17:20

ok so to all the people that are saying you should always have your children on the path side, what about if you have more than one child?

TBH op i think yabu to follow him and yell. but nbu to be strapping yourchild in his car seat.

McDreamy · 14/07/2011 17:21

Here here Rhubarb, I hate rudeness too. No need for it. And road rage/impatience/rudeness is the worst kind. I like to think of myself as a courteous driver

Original poster

partyhat · 14/07/2011 17:21

No he was being rude and impatient, should have risen above it, but can't be perfect all the time (am 99.9% tho ). Should also have know better than to follow him, I'll just have to keep a box of eggs and keep watch out for next time they go past!!!!

This happens often in the summer, the move out of the way i'm v important in my 4x4 type attitude whereas some people are very understanding and say hello or smile as they go past. His behavior was out of order.

OP posts:

MsTeak · 14/07/2011 17:24

if you live in the arse end of nowhere you don't park your car to make sure your youngest child is always on the path. There might not even be a path.
Honestly, some of you lot have no ability to see things from a perspective other than your own.

Saying that, YABU, OP, following a stranger to have a pop at him, are you fucking mental?

VelveteenRabbit · 14/07/2011 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 14/07/2011 17:33

if you are in the road causing an obstruction then you should move out of the way.

you could have leaned in and pulled the door closed a bit so he could get by couldn't you?

not really on to block the road

Toobluntforboss · 14/07/2011 17:34

I'm with bandwithering and partyhat and have been known to engage in similar behaviour when other drivers are particularly rude or driving dangerously! I know it's not necessarily right but sometimes it has to be done!

Original poster

partyhat · 14/07/2011 17:37

this is yesterday - i had pulled the door in!!!!

another car had gone by a few seconds before, no problem (friendly people with a bit of common sense)

what am i to do when a child is half strapped in???

OP posts:

bumpybecky · 14/07/2011 17:42

alphamummy I have 4dc, now only two of them need car seats, but I've had up to three in car seats at once before. We tend to shove the kids into the car and then strap them in properly once we're inside the car. So lots of turning round and leaning from the front of the car to the back.

Even if the seat could have been in a better position, there was no need for the other driver to be agressive

glittercheeks · 14/07/2011 18:06

I am amazed at the amount of people saying he was right! They must be 1 child families then!

I have 3 car seats in the back of my car so I would have no choice but to put one of them in from the road if I was parked on a road!

He didn't know you didn't have more DC/carseats in the back - he was an arse but you def shouldn't have followed him- scary!

M0naLisa · 14/07/2011 18:10

why should she have being using the other side of the road, what if the car seat isnt the pavement side when needing to use it??

He was being a first class wanker.

basingstoke · 14/07/2011 18:11

Or, in fact, a useless piece of shit

thisisyesterday · 14/07/2011 18:16

i would have closed the door completely and let him past

elmofan · 14/07/2011 18:16

Don't go putting ketchup on his caravan , he knows where you live

jugglingmug · 14/07/2011 18:21

YABU. You went far enough following him with 3 DC in the car, anything else would be on the verge of stalking.

I would have closed the door to move out of his way, but then I go out of my way to avoid strapping DD2 in on the road side. Perhaps that's because she turns into a octopus on whizz when I try to strap her into her car seat though

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