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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to just return it all to sender marked "gone, no forwarding address"

43 replies

microserf · 13/07/2011 22:07

we bought a house!

i had no great love for our vendors, esp when they agreed to leave some things in the contract, but then took them anyway.

my issue is: they've moved far overseas and not redirected their mail. i have a massive pile of stuff that looks really important - letters from employers, various firms of solicitors, bank statements, cheques from the council etc. i've already weeded out the catalogs and newsletters from the wine shop and the pile is still about 6 inches high.

it's been more than 2 months. no contact from vendors, even though i asked their solicitors for details of how to get in touch with them about what to do with it all.

AIBU to start marking it all "return to sender, no forwarding address, please amend your records".

particularly as i have just discovered today the one appliance we negotiated and agreed on and that they did deign to leave me doesn't work, so I am partly doing it because i am annoyed, and partly as i had a bad experience with bailiffs for a former tenant at a different address and now feel very uneasy about unanswered mail sitting around?

OP posts:
faverolles · 13/07/2011 22:10

Could you redirect the mail to their solicitors and let them deal with it?
(I have no idea if redirecting costs or if it is a lot of faff, so that might be a crap option)

Flossbert · 13/07/2011 22:10

Not unreasonable at all. I'd have started doing that weeks ago.

amIbeingdaft · 13/07/2011 22:11

I'd be tempted to bin it.

purpleturtle · 13/07/2011 22:11

I find that so annoying whenever we move. You have my sympathy!

If you forward it to the solicitor, do you think the solicitor would charge their client for passing it on?

vintageteacups · 13/07/2011 22:12

YANBU but to be nice, you could forward it to their solicitor - who will get a bit pissed off and tell them to get their mail redirected.

AnyFuleKno · 13/07/2011 22:12

You need to speak to solicitors about their breach of contract at any rate

shakey1500 · 13/07/2011 22:13

I'd redirect it to their solicitors also.

acsec · 13/07/2011 22:13

I just wrote "No longer at this address" at put it all back in the postbox

Lunabelly · 13/07/2011 22:13

YANBU. Though maybe you could write Not Known At This Address, THEN drop them off at their solicitors?

I scrawl "Return to sender, moved away, new tenants now, please amend your records".

Unless it's TalkTalk, in which case I write in massive letters "BOG OFF" Angry

feedthegoat · 13/07/2011 22:14

I wouldn't ever redirect things. If you don't return to sender then they will have no reason to suspect they have left. If any of the mail relates to debts or fines then you could end up with bailiffs on your doorstep if you don't return it.

madrush · 13/07/2011 22:14

I would return it to sender. It's really their problem and better that their banks etc know they don't know where they are than send confidential docs to irrelevant addresses. And you'll get their names off the marketing lists quicker - send the catalogues etc back too. Save the trees!

Original poster
microserf · 13/07/2011 22:15

i don't think their solicitor cares - i wrote to him asking for their details, and he didn't even mention it in his reply to me. it's quite a bit, i don't think he'd be best pleased... he would have a long way to send it.

OP posts:
Original poster
microserf · 13/07/2011 22:15

i also asked locally through their close friends, and they declined to take the responsibility for it.

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 13/07/2011 22:16

You cannot bin other people's mail, legally as well as ethically. The person who bought our house let her two boys rip up some premimum bond wins that came for my daughter. I thought that was awful - we only found out when we finally got our mail redirections through and they told us the cheques had not been cashed.

The solicitor should deal with it - of course he will charge and so you can get your 'revenge.'

jumpingjackhash · 13/07/2011 22:17

We moved into our house 2 years ago and STILL get mail (junk and legit stuff) for the people we nought from. It really pisses me off and I return it all to the sender and ask them to remove the address from their mailing list ... They never do!

YANBU, it's not a major deal for them to set up a redirection service. That service doesn't need to be you!

Pigleychez · 13/07/2011 22:17

Yes, I just write No longer at this address return to sender.

At our first flat we got lots of mail. Just binned it. In the end one letter kept coming looking official so Dh opened it. It was the balliffs threatening to come round. They left owing lots of money! DH managed to contact them and explain/put them off.

So def do send them back and not just bin them!

Original poster
microserf · 13/07/2011 22:19

feedthegoat, that's my real fear. one of the firms writing with alarming regularity seems to be a firm specialising in personal injury cases. i have no idea what's in the letters, but i had a very bad experience with court bailiffs with a former tenant, and i'm not keen on being forced to prove my identity again at 7am in front of my kids... like i had to do last time.

OP posts:
Original poster
microserf · 13/07/2011 22:23

hmm, on reflection they are annoying, but i'd prefer to tell them that to their face - i don't want "revenge" - i've moved a lot in London, and i like to maintain good mail karma! Smile.

this may sound weird, but i feel really responsible for all the damn letters... i just want shot of them, every time i see the pile it annoys me (i'm an obsessive filer of paperwork).

would it be nasty just to return to sender? hopefully they will have alternate contact details like email or something.

OP posts:
plupervert · 14/07/2011 10:18

What can you do but return to sender? You have already tried to get the forwarding address from the solicitor, and the people themselves cannot be bothered to contact you, nor to set up a mail redirection!

On the other hand, companies need to know if their debts are going bad, so trying to enable these people to continue being lazy is actually cheating the good-faith senders of some of these letters.

Calm down, scribble your "Gone away, no forwarding address left"s and let your kids help you post them back! Grin

Miggsie · 14/07/2011 10:23

I would assume that if they moved abroad and didn't get their mail redirected then they are/were dodgy.
You need to write to their solicitor and say you will be returning their mail to sender.

Then return the stuff to the sender.

DandyGilver · 14/07/2011 10:25

Return to sender. Then the ball is back in their court. If you don't send the post back then they will never know that their clients no longer live there.

lurkerspeaks · 14/07/2011 10:30

Print some stickers:
"no longer at this address - return to sender"

whap them all on the letters and post.

Don't faff about with the solicitor - if they can't be bothered to pay the redirection fee neither you nor the solicitor should be inconvenienced.

I'm moving soon and will leave stickers in my flat for any mail which slips through the redirection/ mail merge database change of address net.

From experience, most of the stuff that continues to come is junk mail, which really annoys me as it is so irresponsible of companies to continue sending personal information out YEARS after the initial contact eg. the AA send me a letter every year about renewing the insurance on the car I sold 5 years ago.....

throckenholt · 14/07/2011 10:33

I would return to sender - no longer at this address.

And bin any more that come through - they aren't your responsibility.

MorelliOrRanger · 14/07/2011 10:40

Isn't it illegal to bin them?

I'd post them back as well.

throckenholt · 14/07/2011 10:42

no idea. We periodically get stuff for other people - we have lived there since 1993 ! Sometimes I return to sender - other times I get fed up with it sitting on the side for months and bin it. As far as I recall returning to sender makes no difference in our cases - the same name reappears again sometime down the line.