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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to 'allow' my daughter to try a tampon?

96 replies

coccyx · 13/07/2011 21:17

She is nearly 13 and is due her third period right in the middle of our holiday. We were in superdrug today and i picked up a pack of the small tampons. My friend was horrified that I was going to suggest them to my daughter for when she wanted to go in the swimming pool.
Daughter is fully aware of where tampons go and I of course would never push the idea if she said no.!!!!!
Am I very out of touch

OP posts:

Ivortheengine8 · 14/07/2011 08:46

I don't know really. I don't think YABU as long as she knows how to put it in and feels comfortable with it. Girls grow up so much faster now anyway.
I remember my mum being very out of touch and we had these massive great pads which were horrible. I wouldnt want to inflict that on my daughter.

2rebecca · 14/07/2011 09:09

I think non applicator tampons are much easier to use than applicator ones and get you exploring your anatomy and getting the hang of where things are which is good for teenage girls. I sent away for some mini lilets from teenage magazine Jackie when I was about 14 and used tampons on the lighter days from then on, gradually working up to the larger tampons.
Would have been mortified at the thought of a mooncup at that age. School toilets don't have private sinks. Have given up with mine as it leaks, but may have been better prekids when I had more pelvic floor.

Tollund · 14/07/2011 09:13

YADNBU.

My SM was a total freak about tampons (didn't use them, wouldn't let me) and would only buy those hideous cheapo mattress style pads. I used to have to buy tampons and hide them. I still don't know what her problem was.

Who wants to wander around with a horrible towel, they used to make me feel really unclean.

I'm a mooncup woman now.

Original poster

coccyx · 14/07/2011 10:00

sydsaid of course it will be her choice. I don't intend to hold her down and put a tampon in!!!. Like the idea of buying a few different sorts. Never heard of putting a bit of vaseline on it, so will suggest that. thanks

OP posts:

robingood19 · 14/07/2011 10:16

with milk and sugar added, i presume.

lurkerspeaks · 14/07/2011 10:25

YANBU

I've used tampons since period 1. I hated sanitary towels and have only used them on the odd occasion since then (emergencies).

As others have said, buy a selection and let her experiment. Lube probably isn't a bad plan - would KY jelly be better than Vaseline?

I think you need to get a selection. I've never really got on with non applicator tampons despite my advanced age. The newer Pearl or Compact tampons are great but considerably more expensive. Which will I suspect influence you a little.

whackamole · 14/07/2011 12:25

Your friend is being odd. My mum wouldn't let me use them for a year after I started, I was 11 when I started and couldn't have school swimming lessons for the only term we had them and couldn't go in the pool when we went on our holiday. It ruined that time for me TBH, and as I WANTED to use them I couldn't understand why she wouldn't let me.

Actually I might ask her.

TheRhubarb · 14/07/2011 12:34

I think there is still a bit of scaremongering about toxic shock syndrome, coupled with the fact that your dd is only 12 and perhaps your friend was thinking that they would be uncomfortable?

I would prefer my dd to wear towels I have to say, mainly because at that age you just don't know how your periods are going to be and mini-towels will only absorb so much. I had very very heavy periods when I started and could only use towels. In fact tampons were uncomfortable for me until I had sex for the first time too and I did worry about toxic shock syndrome because at the time there was media coverage of the risks - I think someone might have died? I can't remember.

LimburgseVlaai · 14/07/2011 12:38

Does your friend think you lose your virginity by inserting a tampon? Way back in the dark ages when I was a young teen some people seemed to think this. Fortunately my mother was more enlightened and I have been using (non-applicator) tampons since second period (age 11).

Do make sure you stress the importance of hygiene - don't forget to take it out, basically. Might also be worth telling her initially only to use tampons during heaviest flow, otherwise they might be difficult to get in/out.

lynniep · 14/07/2011 12:40

Yeah she's out of touch. I started at 10 and my step mum explained (in Superdrug - v. embarrasing. In store lesson was perhaps bit too much, but then she's a nurse and doesnt embarras easily! ) what they were for and how they worked. Anyway, I tried, and failed, but at least I was given the option. Probably started using them a year or two later.

Insomnia11 · 14/07/2011 12:40

I can't use them now apart from if I absolutely have to with swimming (don't stay in) and towels are fine but I used them (Lillets, then changed to applicator ones) almost from the word go and started periods a month after my 12th birthday.

It wasn't a case of my mum not letting me, I went and bought them with pocket money/money for school!

ZombiePlan · 14/07/2011 12:49

I think YABU to buy tampons for her. Why not just ask her whether she would like to use them, then take her shopping and let her pick out the ones she feels she wants to try. She might have a preference for trying applicator rather than non-applicator, or suchlike. I think that if you just hand her a box of them, then she'll feel like she's expected to use them.

CrapolaDeVille · 14/07/2011 12:50

I used 'slender' from the start...I was ten.

TheRhubarb · 14/07/2011 12:54

I've told dd how they work too. She saw them in Sainsbury's and asked what they were. Judging by her face she won't be trying them! However I will encourage her to use both and find out what works for her.

If they are comfortable in using them then brilliant! But they do only hold so much, so if they are heavy I would advise towels.

Original poster

coccyx · 14/07/2011 13:46

Zombieplan I will not be just handing her the box. I have not used tampons very successfully since I had my children so will take her with me to get a mixture. I never got on with non applicator ones, but I have little idea of whats available these days.
Interesting to read different opinions

OP posts:

eurochick · 14/07/2011 13:56

My mum wouldn't let me use tampons at first (I started at 11/12). I have always had minging heavy periods and back then the towels didn't having wings so every bloody month (literally!) I would leak everywhere and end up with my knickers soaking in a bucket in the bathroom....

Eventually she gave in and I have never looked back. I use the normal Tampax applicator ones. I find them comfortable and effective. I have never got on with non-applicator ones. I never seem to get them in the right place and end up taking them out after 10 mins as they are uncomfortable. I also don't like the new design Tampax (called Satin or something). They expand widthways rather than lengthways and seem to press on my bladder making it feel like I always need a wee. I guess it's different for different people, so a selection that she can try sounds like a good idea.

BTW, remember that if she is going to try one for the first time, it will probably be more comfortable on a heavy day rather than a light day when she will be quite "dry" anyway.

seeker · 14/07/2011 13:59

I got dd a selection and she went off into the loo to experiment.

A couple of thoughts. Don;'t assume that the mini ones will be absorbent enough = the weren't for my dd, who has needed super from the beginning. ANd in the experience of dd and her friends, the plastic applicator ones are easier than either the applicator-less or cardboard ones.

Remind her to keep reapplying whatever lubricant she's using whie she practises , particularly if hs'e not actually having a period at the time- they dont have much vaginal lubrication at this age, and it soon gets dried up by repeated attempts.

Make sure she's got private time and space to experiment - I made sure that dp and ds were out - hte last thing you need is little broter hammering on the bathroom door shouting "What are you doing in there?"

aliceliddell · 14/07/2011 14:31

Definitely use vaseline on tampon of any kind and on self, it will be much easier. Is the unease because of loss of 'virginity'? If so, consider what would happen if a girl was a non-tampon using lesbian? Still a virgin? What does this mean?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 14/07/2011 14:35

I used tampons from period 1 (back in the day) and told my daughter to do the same which she did. IMO there is no other satisfactory way to deal with periods.

SeymoreButts · 14/07/2011 14:36

YANBU, I used them from day 1 and I have lived to tell the tale. Although I remember having trouble getting the hang of an applicator.

redexpat · 14/07/2011 15:29

Your friend sounds nuts.

MN demonstrates that it is each to her own so give your daughter space and opporturnity to work out what will work for her.

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