I threatened a charity shop with Trading Standards

[rodformyownback]

DH thinks I was being completely reasonable (if barking), but I feel terrible about it.

This morning I went into a local charity shop that sells lots of toys with ds1, to get him a reward for having kept his pants dry for a certain time. I saw a toy car-park in a flat box and asked the lady at the till the price. She went out the back briefly, came back and said "£4.75". I showed it to my ds, he loved it so we went to the till to pay. I was making a big deal to him about what a big boy he'd been, how we were going to play with the car park when we got home etc, when the lady rang the item through the till and said "£12 please"!
The item did not have a price tag on it, and had I known it was £12 I would not have offered it to ds. We are broke and I had no intention of spending that much. I went very red and said I thought that as she had told me the item was £4.75, she should sell it to me for that price.
The till lady went and got the manager, who said that she could not reduce the price as these car parks were brand new and had been bought by the charity for resale. To my utter, complete mortification I started to cry (BIG disclaimer - I have PND, am not coping well with stressful situations and am NOT MY NORMAL SELF). I was not stroppy, more apologising for myself and trying to speak quietly so ds wouldn't know I was upset. I just couldn't bear the thought of having to tell him that we couldn't buy the car park. I said to the manager that I was very sorry, I understood that it was a charity shop but that I thought they should sell the item at the lower price, and having told me it was £4.75 they may be breaching TS regulations to renege on that (tbh in retrospect I doubt this is the case).
The manager tried to call her area manager but couldn't get through (all the while I'm standing there at the till while a queue mounts, silently weeping and feeling like the biggest twunt that ever lived), she came off the phone and told me that she would sell me the car park for £4.75. I thanked her, paid and left. I feel like such a knob and can't believe I shafted a charity shop.

Was I being unreasonable? (Please be gentle, due to above mentioned PND probably being a bit foolhardy to post in AIBU!)

Also made me think about the role of charity shops in general. I have always seen them as having a dual function, raising money for their own charity but also selling second hand goods cheap to people who can't afford to buy them new. When I was better off I used to pay more for items I thought were worth more than the price tag. Now it seems they are run along much more corporate lines. What should be their goal? would be interested to hear others' opinions!

You stood your ground and despite the fact that it was a charity shop, you were indeed quoted an original price.

So sorry that you are suffering from PND. Don't think about it any more and please accept a huge hug from a random stranger. Next time you feel tearful, think of all we supportive Mumsnetters standing behind you, being your friends.

xxx

Bloody £12

was it the same girl whpo said £4.75 and then £12?

Did she all of a sudden forget that she had just said minutes previous £4.75. Some shop assistants are pathetic.

Right, YWNBU.

If you feel badly about "shafting" them, do you have anything you could donate to them to make the money up? Things you really don't want/were going to throw out. Someone has probably suggested that though...

Charity shops used to be THE place for bargains, but now prices have rocketed. Mind you with the advent of ebay they don't get very many donations and they need to try to meet their overheads. There was an Oxfam shop that was threatened with closure in Glastonbury because it was running at a loss, until Michael Eavis stepped in and paid their rent for a year

So I kinda sympathise with them a bit, clothes-wise they seem to be passed all the junk that wouldn't raise 50p on ebay and I have noticed that more and more charity shops are selling new items such as toys, games, gifts etc that they must buy wholesale.

In this instance. The woman at the till must have conferred with someone who told her £4.75. So 2 people were involved in that pricing decision. At the very least the woman should have owned up and admitted her mistake.

It's not fair to be told an item is for sale at one price and for them then to charge you another at the till. All items should have been clearly marked and the shop assistants obviously need re-training in customer service and actually bothering to come out and make sure that the item they are 'guessing' the price on, is actually right.

You were treated appaulingly OP and I would write a letter of complaint to them. Just because they are working for charity does not mean they can treat customers in this way.

YANBU, when they had already told you the lower price. Not sure about the law. I personally would have put it back once they said the higher price, rather than ask for the original one (have had to do that in Tesco before because of their crappy labelling of what is included in offers or not- I think they try to scam people as most people won't take stuff back if it comes out more than they expect but I can't afford not to if it comes out overbudget when it was marked cheaper on the shelf!) It's a charity shop, but it's still a shop, so you are fine to treat it the same as other shops and the staff should act professional even though lots are volunteers- they only people who are dicks are the ones who shoplift in charity shops. Having said that, lots of my local charity shops seem to have staff who have mild learning disabilities helping out sometimes, so it's sometimes worth being patient if they are having trouble with the till or whatever.

PS I could tell you awful tales of people I yelled at when I had PND (e.g. a nurse who was just trying to be helpful but I felt then like she was being intrusive)- you seem lovely by comparison!

They should label the bloody items for sale properly, so YABNU.

While on this topic, could I please make a plea to the British Heart Foundation? When I go into one of your shops to buy a book or a packet of Christmas cards, it would really really be great if it didn't take three people about ten minutes to act as thought they've never been asked to sell anything before, and then spend a further ten minutes trying to understand how the till works. EVERY TIME!!

Sympathy OP

I've been there too ... I took a pair of new fair-trade flip-flops back to Oxfam after they fell to pieces after 2 hours of flip-flopping round town and they told me I couldn't have a refund because a) They were a charity shop and b) Said flip-flops weren't meant for wearing outside.

We had a sharp exchange of views and I got my £6.25 back ( I know, sad, but I was at college and uber-skint ) and I left feeling like Hitler and Pol Pot combined.

Thing is a charity shop is still a shop and bound by the Sale of Goods Act like any other retail establishment so don't feel bad, you were quite right to insist.

P.S Hope your DS enjoyed the car park!

good for you standing your ground, remember going to a charity shop in solihull with my mum,they had a bag that she had been oogling for a while from a mail order shop, it was more expensive in the charity shop than new!!!!!

PND is the most horrible thing. I remember being in my kitchen and dropping a knife with butter on onto the floor. I remember thinking it was the worst thing that could have happened and crying for hours.

I think you were being reasonable, but if you worry about it, put your loose change by for a couple of weeks and then pop it into their charity box next time you're near there (if you can face going there again!)

interesting ellmum i just looked it up and you are right no one has to sell you anything at any price its just store policy, lots of stores have it as a policy it sort of becomes an urban legend i suppose if enough people do it.

rodformyownback PM doesn't seem to be working, I can't PM you so will you PM me your details please?

Oops, sorry that should have said, if you want to. You might not want ds's second hand stuff!

PM is broke, Rhubarb. MN are fixing it!

Just to say rhubarb...

I think that was really sweet of you to offer the toys to the OPs child.

What a lovely gesture!

rhubarb Thanks so much for the hug, could do with lots of them at the moment! And a lovely gesture about the toys, but really my ds does have plenty of toys!
I feel really embarrassed that you would think I need your son's toys, but I do really, really appreciate the gesture and understand how you feel. Something similar (the other way around) happened to me a couple of months ago. I was behind a young woman in the queue in a pound type shop, she was returning about 7 quid's worth of Easter eggs (it was the day before Good Friday). The cashier had to refund the items onto her debit card as that's how they had been paid for. The woman was visibly upset and asked if the money would be refunded immediately. The cashier said she thought it would take 2 working days, but as it was a bank holiday weekend she didn't know how long it would be. This poor girl went very red and left the shop quickly. I paid for my stuff and ran out to look for her, having it in my head to give her the 30 odd quid in my wallet. I couldn't find her but she would probably have been mortified (if 30 quid better off!) if I had found her. I just couldn't bear the thought that she would have NOTHING over a four day weekend.
I thank my lucky stars that I'm not so broke I have to return items to the pound shop to get through the week. We are hard up, more so than we have ever been, and that has been a big contributing factor to my PND. But I can still choose to spend a fiver on a present for my son. I could have chosen to spend 12 quid on a present, but I would have had to find that money from somewhere else. I resented being put in the situation where I would have to choose whether to be 7 quid nearer our (small) overdraft limit at the end of the month, or disappoint my son having really talked up this toy to him. It was a bigger gift than i was planning to buy him, but I knew he would love a car park. I checked the price to make sure that it was within my budget and at £4.75 it was at the top.
Ragged I think some of your comments are unnecessarily mean. I was not "hysterical" which would imply some sort of screaming, which I made it clear I did NOT do. I didn't intend to start a charity bashing thread but asked a more general question about the role of charity shops. I have done a lot of volunteering myself and managed volunteers, I understand the many reasons they give their time for free. The manager was actually very kind and polite to both me and the volunteer. I hope that the manager recognises that the volunteer has further training needs before she is let loose on the public, and tries to meet those needs. But that is the manager's decision, and NOT my responsibility. I tend to feel guilty about pretty much everything but even I hadn't thought of that one! As for how much I choose to spend on treats for my son, that is irrelevant to the thread and frankly none of your business.

Bupcakes I just misread your last post as "OP is broke, Rhubarb. MN are fixing it". Are they?, I thought. How lovely!!!
On the plus side, dh just texted me to say that we've had a back payment of child benefit for ds2 and are no longer overdrawn. Hurray! Cinderella shall go to the ball! . Or rather, we shall drive to Manchester this weekend without having to put the petrol on the credit card!
DS can keep his pants dry all month now, phew!

messaged you.
I completely understand
I'm the kind of person who would pay for someone's bus fare and feel really really mean if I don't tip the barlady. I know I've received some lovely gifts in the past from mumsnetters when I've gone through a rough patch and I'm always keen to repay the favour.

Someone will always disagree with you btw, don't take it to heart. I've had more upsets than I care to think about on MN simply because they've let rip and I've taken things too personally. Most of us understand completely how you felt and we all think the manager could have been more sympathetic towards you. It wasn't your fault the garage wasn't labelled and it wasn't your fault the assistant told you the wrong price. You had promised your ds that garage, he was looking forward to it and to be in the position where you might have to put it back and upset him is horrible enough without having PND. That never should have happened.

Take care x

Have messaged you Rhubarb. Thanks again

In this case they did get it wrong in quoting you a lower price although did the right thing in the end - but many people seem to forget that many charity shops, particularly smaller ones, are run by willing volunteers in their free time who may lack the management, direction and formal training of other retail units. Moreover they may be there to raise money for charity and receive the goods they sell for free/a smaller price than other shops but they still have other overheads to meet. It is hardly surprising that prices have had to go up when rent/energy bills/H&S/disposal of unsaleable goods all incur hefty charges that eat into anything made for the charity.
I think people are often quick to forget that the average charity shop worker is not a retail guru and a little patience and understanding may be needed.

You poor lady! Please don't worry about it! I hope your boy enjoys the car park! How old is he?

On a lighter note and with the hope that this will give you a much needed laugh I do have a habit of crying in public.

I am a taller lady with large feet and like a lot of people donate old and unwanted clothes to charity shops. When a new gay bar opened locally a group of women from work thought we would go for a night out. I spent quite a few trips to the tiolets crying because most of the men in drag where wearing my cast offs. The worst of it was my mates from work recogised most of the clothes. At a different time of the month I would have laughed.

I now buy quite a few clothes from charity shops (skint) and always wonder if they belonged to these men before. I hope they don't feel like crying if they see me wearing their clothes.

N

He's 3.5. The annoying bloody thing is, this car park is CRAP! Potentially the worst quality toy I've ever bought. I mean, if I hadn't had all that palaver, and already dismantled the packaging, I would have taken it back anyway. Grrr!
I think the charity is (understandably) trying to make some more money by having some new items in, but selling such complete tat is surely counterproductive if it alienates their customers?
Last time I was in there I got a classic fisher price toy for £1.40 and a nice vtech toy (ds2 likes it anyway!) with batteries, for £2.75. Will definitely stick to the second hand stuff in future.
I do hope the volunteer is OK and gets helped with her skills rather than bollocked (should think she will, the manager was very professional). I'm so glad this happened this week rather than a month or two ago when I was more raging than weepy .
I'm so grateful for all the tea and sympathy I've had on this thread re my PND. It has really helped. Today could have been absolutely awful, poor ds1 has diahorrea so we haven't been out all day, always a recipe for disaster. But I didn't cry all day and must have done ok with ds, no major meltdowns in adverse circumstances. He wet his bloody pants 3 times though, and the rest...[boak]

Oh Budgie that is hilarious! I can imagine it's pretty dispiriting seeing a bloke wearing your shoes.
I'm more on the titchy side and a similar thing happened to me as a teenager, I bought a tshirt from the local heart foundation that had belonged to my mate's 7 year old sister. At the time I was mortified

Budgie I think the local trannies would feel delighted that a real-life lady fit into their clothes!