to not want to confront my husband?

[LittlePudding1]

I'll give you a bit of back story first. We've been together for around 11 years, 2 dc's, toddler and baby. DC2 is just coming up to a year old. DH is a good man, works hard, is great with the kids.

However, our sex life hasn't been great for about a year. We've probably only had sex a couple of times which is mainly my fault (just haven't felt like it, tired from getting up in the night and not really any sex drive). Although partly his fault too as he likes to stay up late and always initiates it when I've been asleep or first thing in the morning when the kids are about to wake up. I have known for a while our sex life has been a problem so its maybe my own fault that this has happened.

This morning I went through DH's texts (don't know why as have never done this before) and there were some quite explicit ones, leaving no doubt that he has been having sex with this woman.

Anyway, after DH had gone to work I called the number (141 in front), no answer and no v/m, not really sure what I was going to do if she answered.

I know I need to talk to DH about this and get it out in the open but I'm really scared as firstly I think he'll try and deny it and push the blame on me for reading his texts and secondly I really don't want our marriage to end.

Sorry this is so long, I don't really know what to do

I commend Izzy - I honestly think that if you show him the good things on offer, he won't want to go elsewhere.

Jesus Izzy .

Are you seriously advising that the issues with the OPs marriage are hers to resolve? She must become a more adoring wife, have sex with him more often, stroke his ego in order to lure him back to his family? How about she makes him answer for his mistakes like any grown up has to? How about she makes him look into the eyes of the person he betrayed and explain why he did it instead of talking to and supporting her?

Fucking Hell are we in the 1950s?

You honestly think you have to show a grown man how good things are to keep him from shagging someone else? Are you seriously that lacking in self-esteem? Do you honestly believe that people won't cheat if only wifey keeps things good at home?

northerngirl, is that not rewarding his behaviour and giving him the message that he can fuck someone else and his wife will make more effort to keep him? Win win for him really. Don't think he should be getting that particular message, more that what he has done is really serious and he's a hairs breadth away from losing his wife and children and he needs to make a huge effort to stop that from happening.

He ought to be winning his wife back (if that's what she wants), noot the other way around

In my opinion, I don't think it matters if the DH has actualy had a physical relationship with this women, or if he has just been playing this 'Sexting' game. Either way, its not exactly husbandly behaviour.

I would let him know what you know, tonight. He then needs to figure out if he wants to fix things, or if he wants to fuck right off.

Are you really going to let him sleep in the same bed as you tonight?

Please don't think this is your fault, and please dont feel that you have to make a special effort to win him back - you are mothering his children, not screwing around for fun.

Please don't allow him to lie to you, or tell you that they didnt have full sex so its not as bad etc - as i said - its a pretty serious breach of your vows.

GRRRRRRRR! I hate that there are people that actually do this to their partners.