to want to give in???

[BabbyEdensMummy]

my DD whos a year old this month, has been in her cot crying since 8.15pm??? she doesnt sleep at all and comes in our bed nearly every night (wrong i know, but its a habit we want to break) (also now she doesnt even seem to settle in our bed either shes constantly flinging her self around in her sleep, its like her body wont rest) so ive spoke to health visitor and she told me to give bottle in her room which i did and then put her in cot and leave her to cry until she falls asleep, but shes very stubborn little baby as we have tryed before and shes cryed for hours, plus i feel cruel hearing her cry :( advice and help please!

Mine were both like yours....I did the bottle in the room...in the dark and then put them down. I stayed until they fell asleep.

Bugger that HV. Babies are babies. Very little and helpless....mine could both be left by the time they were 2. With a dim night light.

Yes I agree if you can fix the daytime nap the nighttime will get better. Easier said than done i know, but worth the intensive effort to get her to sleep for an hour if you eventually can...

the only thing is its not socialising its work so i cant choose im dictated by that, so not ideal when trying to get a routine set up during day which i agree with you both its very important, she does have naps but say 5mins in a car journery or maybe if i give a bottle during day she will falls asleep on me and i put her down and she wakes up as soon as ive got to the top of the stairs! other babys seem to have a good hours sleep in morning and again in afternnoon but like i say if i do put her down she just wake s 2mins later if not straight away, its same if i take her for a walk and she falls asleep in pram as soon as we get in shes awake :/

Ah,dont leave her to cry,my baby is 5 months and we were recently havig some sleep probs (up for the day at 4am) i spent hrs on mn and googl and picked up some tips and have spent the last few weeks trying different methods but in the meantime did what i had to to get some sleep. I have found the biggets difference has been making sure she has naps in the day especially in the afternoon.Obviously yours is older but muddle thru and do what you can,so what if you rock or feed her to sleep it isnt for ever and at least you get some sleep,we are nder so much pressure as Mums to do things in a conformist way,such a pity.Good luck.

btw,i often sit and push the pram to keep her asleep a bit longer.

My nephew was exactly like that when he was a baby. SIL used to drive miles just to keep him asleep. Its very hard to do that all the time though.

You may be missing the window when she is tired enough to go to sleep, before the "second wind" kicks in. I'd try moving the bedtime a little earlier each night until you find the right slot iyswim? Ds will happily fall asleep between 6.30 and 7.30pm but any later than that and he's awake until 8.30-9pm.

How many hours a day do you work? My DD was sleeping two hours in the afternoon at that age and in bed by 7. Could you fit your hours in around that kind of time frame?

so how long and how many naps should a year old baby be having and also how many bottles/how much milk during a day? i will try arange my day so she can have time out for a long nap, how would yous recommend i get her to sleep during day?

I think others have hit the nail on the head...she is over tired. She is only 1 and should be having some form of nap in her daily routine.

My DD had a 2 hour nap in the day and if this is shortened or missed she will play up at night due to being over tired. She is 15 months. Also her routine at night seems quite 'busy' with not much time between each part. Maybe give tea earlier so that if she gets a 2nd wind it occurs earlier plus it means she may go to bed more comfortable? With CC you need to go in after 5 minutes -settle and leave with little talking, then repeat after 10,15 etc. It works!

Regarding not eating from a spoon, I have this too. I gave my DD her own spoon to use too which made her feel grown up and helped or I let her feed herself with hands. Messy yes but she eats then.

Somehow you need to try and get her to sleep more during the day. Can you go for a nice long walk so that she gets an hour in her buggy at least?

DS1 went through a phase of needing one of us to sit with him while he fell asleep. It only lasted for a couple of months and then he has been brilliant with bedtimes.

Ignore the HV. Babies need love and comfort and cuddles.

It's hard, but sometimes it's knowing when they are at that tired stage! There are no hard and fast rules, but for example, getting them up at the same time every day can help. Then you can plan the rest of the day...ie breakfast, washed, dressed, play time, snack, quiet time, lunch, nap...wake, change, play, snack, play, out for a walk, dinner, play, bath, quiet time, bottle, story, bed......then you can collapse!

sorry crossed posts! doing hairdressing so it varys alot, if its a quick cut with someone i know she comes with me, if ive got afternoon of colours and cuts, she will go to my mums when she finishes work at 3, two days a week, or a childminder for three hours on tues. or to my dads, it would be alot easier if i could afford the childminder full time as could implenment a proper routine between us, but if ive got a few cuts will space them out so she can have a play, food, etc, but i just find it hard to get her to sleep during the day as she just struggles if i try cuddle her to sleep, so what would you sugesst?

I will admit that ds (11 months) is currently a good sleeper (never used to be and will probably change when I go back to work next week ). He has 2 8oz bottles a day, one in the morning and one before bed.

He has a nap at 9am until 10.30am

Second nap at 2.15 until 3.45pm

He goes to bed at 7pm and for all his naps and at bedtime he is put in his cot awake and falls asleep on his own. He sleeps through until 5.30ish (which is ok as we have to be up then anyway).

[Someone will probably flame me for the next bit but I don't care, it worked for me)

I had to use controlled crying (leaving him 5, 10 then 15 minutes until he fell asleep) to get him to sleep in his cot and also to get him to sleep through (he was waking for feeds during the night but not wanting to feed during the day) when he was about 7 months old. After we did this his nap times just seemed to fall into place.

The longest he ever cried for (with me checking on him and resettling him every 15 minutes) was 2 hours. This was between 2 and 4am and was the most exhausting night of my life! But after that he started to settle faster until he could be put down on his own. The thing with CC is that you can't give in or you ruin any progress you have made. I couldn't use PU/PD or shush/pat because it simply annoyed ds more.

Oh and it was dh who settled him during the night when we were weaning him off the night feeds. DS settled much better without a feed if dh did it...seems to think I'm a pushover

She may be struggling to go to sleep every day because she's not really in a routine IYSWIM.

There are plenty who don't advocate routines etc but for me they did work. As I say, it's not easy! If she was sleeping every night and down for 7, could you do appointments then??

Can you get clients to come to you?

sorry shes woke again, and shattered now so going bed will check on herre tomorow, thanks for advice gav me alot to think about n try change especially naps in day! :)

skulls out DCs sound identical!!! :) The CC shouldn't be flamed, my DD goes down awake too and has done for months because we used CC.

Great advice.

i had the same problem with my daughter she still wouldnt go to sleep in her bed at 18months, i got told not to pick them up because its basically teaching them if u keep crying eventually u will get picked up which is what they will do, have u tried puting her in her cot then sitting next to cot and not looking at her? sometimes that soothes them because ur still in the room? i ended doing the crying 1 with my daughter and i sat outside the door and cried while she was crying, 1st night she cried an hour and a half, 2nd night 20mins and 3rd night 5min, that was it, but whatever u decide needs to be right for u and your daugher, dont let any1 push u into something u dont feel comfortable with. GOODLUCK :)

At about 1, both of my ds's would have had at leat an hour in the morning - going down about 9.30am, then an ealry lunch and a couple of hours after lunch going down about 12-12.30ish. They'd be in bed asleep by 7pm.

The morning nap went first (probably aged about 18-20 months) leaving one big after lunch nap until they were at least 2 1/2 (I would limit it to shorter periods as they got older to make sure they still went down well at 7pm).

She's not going to settle reliably if she has no routine at all.