I don't think I am I'm so pissed off!!

[ruledbyheart]

I'm so hurt, angry and pissed off.
I split with my ex quite a while back and we have both started seeing other people which on a whole is good and we all get on well.
I must admit I have struggled with the break-up at times and I am having counselling for it.
Last night I agreed ex and his gf could stay at mine as they were taking DC's out first thing and they cant stay at hers as her dad wont allow it (she lives next door) so I thought it would make sense and to save messing about with sofa beds etc I agreed to them having my bed whilst I had the sofa, all fine no problem.
I was still awake when they went up and they know this, but the next thing all I could hear was them having sex, every detail.
I got so angry that they disrespected me and my house that I got my trainers and walked to my bf's house at 1am which is a fair walk in the dark, and just burst into tears.
I came home this morning and they knew that I wasn't happy and apologised but made it seem like I was BU and over-reacting, was I?
I didn't shout or show my anger but just told them this morning that I thought it was disrespectful and bang out of order like they were rubbing my nose in it.

I never realised that Ann Widdecombe's arse could talk so much sense!!

ruledbyheart I'm sorry you feel you're getting a hard time. I think (and I'm sure I can speak from everyone on here ) everyone is just a little that you would have offered this situation in the first place.

I think it's admirable that you want to keep things amicable for your DCs, but you have been a mug in letting them stop over in your house and in your bed.

Your ex's gf's dad has quite clearly taken a stand, it's not up to you to resolve their relationship issues for them.

You shouldn't have let them stop, you shouldn't have enable the sex in your bed situation, you shouldn't have left your children there in the middle of the night .

It is a dysfunctional situation.

Decide what the boundaries are in your house, make them clear and expect them to stick to them. Tbh, i think it's a bit weird they accepted the offer of your bed anyway. I certainly wouldn't have done!

You should have thrown cold water over them.

AnneWiddecombesArse - I concur.

This place never ceases to amaze me!

Wtf were you thinking??? Isnt it a bit weird also that he is shagging the woman next door? is that why you split up?

I'd be most horrified at the fact that OP's ex has started shagging the Girl Next Door - a woman of such relatively tender years that her father thinks he can influence the relationship. That's what I call dysfunctional!

I have to ask, did their relationship start well after you and he split up. If not, you are being far too accomodating.
In future if he wishes to stay to make acess easier, offer him the sofa, but she stays next door. They've insuted your hospitality, it all smacks a bit of her wanting to mark her teritory. well, sghe's done that, but won't get the oportunity of doing it again in your bed.
I agree that some counselling would be helpful.

The OP has said that she is seeing a counsellor already.

OP I think you are getting a hard time - you have been far more accommodating than most people would be and it seems you are making a big effort to overcome your feelings about the break up and support his new relationship - he has totally taken advantage of this and I cannot see in a million years why he thought it would be appropriate to have sex in your bed. He should have taken your gesture in the manner it was intended - to enable him to get up early with the kids - and not as a free pass to get his rocks off.

I would never let the girlfriend stay over again. You have been more than reasonable. If he wants to stay, he is on the sofa, if she doesn't like it, tough.

Keeping it amicable for the children? I think they might find it a bit more fucked up having their Dad (who I assume has moved out, Please tell me he has moved out) sleeping in his old bed with the next doors neighbours daughter, while their mum sleeps on the couch??

What the fucking fuck? won't somebody think of the children....