To expect 6 year olds to say please and thank you?

[PanicMode]

We have just had a birthday party for my DD - a pony party for 10 children which was a big hit and great fun. However not one child said please or thank you to any of the girls helping with the ponies, the teacher, or DH and myself when we were passing round the sandwiches/cakes/drinks etc.

AIBU to expect a 'yes, please' or a thank you when offered a drink/biscuit/cake?

Only 1 child said thank you at the end (unprompted), and most of them snatched party bags. Is 6 too young to expect some courtesy?!

yanbu!

my 6 year old very occasionally needs a reminder, but I would say 97% of the time he says please and thank you totally unprompted.
But then we have always expected him to.

Maybe their parents don't use it when they speak to their own children. Kids only pick it up if it is reciprocated by the parents, i.e son can you do this for me please etc,

It's all over TV as well though

As grace highlighted its the sheer cheekyness of some parents.

worraliberty - I have noticed that as well, the decline in manners on tv shows is a PITA - possibly reflective of society as a whole but it would be nice if they included the bloody manners so that children are exposed to it more! Especially on children's tv shows - they rarely have the characters saying please and thank you, ones that I've seen anyway. Bloody rude. I have seen characters in Peppa Pig use them but I hate Peppa Pig so avoid it whenever possible.

YANBU they should have basic manners

My two are two and three, they need reminding sometimes but they are getting pretty good. If you say thankyou to them they will reply with 'you're welcome' almost every time which is quite sweet! little hooligans the rest of the time mind

Thumbs i think Peppa is terrible, shes a whiney little brat!

My DS is a fair bit younger and he is good on please and thankyou quite a bit of the time. If he misses it, I go the route of 'What you do say?' 'What's the magic word?' or 'Can you say that politely?' and he corrects. I will certainly expect him to do it by 6. But if he forgets, through excitement or anything else, you can bet I will be prompting him. My parents were adamant that I said thankyou every single time - I remember winning something at a summer fete once and they asked me if I'd said thankyou. Because I couldn't say absolutely definitely that I had, they made me go back to the person who'd given me the prize and say it to be completely sure. I am working on getting my DS to the same level.

i know a good many kids who are word perfect on the pleases thankyous and excuse me's, but utterly self centred and inconsiderate.So although pleases and thankyous are good, treating others with thoughtfulness and respect is what manners are really about.

rogue apostrophe in there!

dd started saying peas please and ank you thank you as soon as she could speak. Over the years I have lost count of how many people are surprised whenever she says please and thank you.

I'm a firm believer that a child's manners is a reflection of the parents' manners (trying not to sound as a judgey pants) I always say please and thank you whether its a baby or 100yrs old. Thank you .

YANBU

YANBU. Sometimes a "I can't hear many pleases and thank yous" will result in a chorus. Most chn know to say it but they get so excited, esp at parties, that they do tend to forget.

if i offer a kid something and they dont say please or thanks, i prompt them, whoever they are, from nephew to a stranger in the supermarket

if the parent doesnt like it, tough

Don't be naive enough to imagine your beautifully mannered yo won't forget as an excited 6 yo at a birthday party!

Glad to see that I ANBU! I am a stickler for manners and was thrilled when my son went over to play with a next door neighbour recently and his mother delivered him back saying he was the politest child she'd ever had in her house [smug emoticon]. But actually, that represented YEARS of input into manners and behaviour and thinking of others!!

I guess because we are such sticklers for good manners (spiderpig completely agree), it is very noticeable when children don't show any!!

My DS 4 knows he should use please and thank you, at home he remembers about 75 % of the time. I agree, with the excitment of a party he forgets more but I certainly wouldn't let him out the door with out saying Thank you for the party bag and a nice time, otherwise the bag would be swiftly removed!! His behaviour often leaves ALOT to be desired but at least I've taught him manners, the easiest thing actualy!

YANBU
absolutely bugs me no end when people dont teach their children manners! if my son doesnt say please or thank you he doesnt get he is 4yo and we are now stopping saying to him "what do you say?" he says please and thank you about 95% and when he doesnt he gets sent away to "try again please"
i work in a small local co-op and the volume of rude ill mannered children is unbelieveable,mostly kids from posh familys it has to be said.

YANBU, but my DD aged 5 still needs prompting often, it drives me insane. I must have told her two hundred thousand times. I think it's good if other adults help out with the prompting, I'd like any other adult to also insist on a please or thank you when appropriate, to back me up. Sometimes these prompts are more effective coming from another adult.

I remember my DM had a phrase - 'Manners maketh man - and it does a lot for little girls too.'
I find in a party situation a generalised, light-hearted, comment of 'It would be lovely to hear some thank-you's' normally prompts them to action. When a few of them have said it, I'll say something like 'D'you know, thank you is my favourite word', or words to that effect.

Yes they should say please and thank you. Children tend to copy a lot and if the parents say please and thank you, so do the children. So who to judge, the child or the parent and it has no bearing on the nature of the child - how often two sisters can be entirely different.