To object titles tagged to marital status;Miss, Mrs. Ms

[chaoswoman]

MS Understood
You may be married but separated or widowed. You may be separated and living with the man you left your husband for. You may be long divorced but choose to use your married name and title. You may be waiting for a divorce, legally still married, choosing to drop the married name and title. You may be over 40 and never been married! You may have several children and be single, or happily married but use your single name for professional reasons, you may be in a civil partnership, you may be recently widowed or divorced. Do you know which title to use? Are you Miss, Mrs. or Ms?

Why, in the UK can a man be a simple Mr. or Sir which doesn?t require qualifying any further, whilst a woman is asked to be a Miss (single/young), Mrs.(married) Madam(mature) or Ms(??)?. I for one don?t have a clue which applies to me, I put ?Ms, but don?t know what it means and have never heard it with my ears. It sounds a bit harsh when said out loud?.

As I reached my early thirties and owned my own home, tradesmen and service providers were calling me Mrs. ...... and I realised at my age I aught to be married, this was their assumption. Did I correct them with a sorry or evocative, Dick Emery, ?I?m a Miss?. Did they need to know?

When I fell pregnant and had a baby without marrying the father. All the midwives called me Mrs.W and I felt compelled to correct them, ?I?m not married, call me C?. (I?m an unwed mother, single parent to be, my child is illegitimate; too much information!). Quite frankly, in this day and age, I was surprised, they continued to assume, or felt the need for this formality. Amusing though it was to me, the father of my daughter was addressed as ?Mr.CW?(right title, wrong name), which he politely ignored.

A multitude of application forms, I realise, require a title with your name. In this day and age, if marital status isn?t required information, why do I have to prefix my name with a title tagged to marital status?

I actually, don't like being called Mrs. I am not married and didn't like it even when I was, but feel dishonest if I don't correct the assumption and rude if I do. I like formality in certain situations, what is a polite stranger to call me?

In the name of equality, dignity, privacy and clarity, I would like there to be one title to fit all women in a formal situation, as there is for men.

I didn't change my name on marriage (blimey, I must be very uncommitted!) and so my name is Ms Myname (Dr Myname if the other person is being patronising and assuming that because I'm a SAHM that I'm an idiot ).

But what I actually get are:
Mrs Hisname
Mrs Myname (as though I am married to my Dad)
Miss Myname (makes me sound like a child and not accurate anyway as I'm married).

Mrs Hisfirstname Hisname may be technically accurate historically, but it drives me up the wall! I like to think that we are changing the nature of marriage and making it equal, I don't appreciate being addressed as though I was still legally the chattel of my husband!

Monalisa

I'm glad that you now know differently. Many women choose to use Ms on divorce as they have been taught that Miss is for girls or unmarried women and don't feel that fits any longer - so Ms is an excellent option to have, but it is for any woman who doesn't feel that Miss or Mrs are appropriate for her.

MrsTittlemouse, surely time for a name change to MsTittlemouse?

The only time I was given the chance to choose "other" and write my own title, I chose "Yuor Highness". I used to crack up every time I received a letter from the company.

it's Ms for me, too. If DP and I do ever get married (24 years and counting.....)I won't be changing my name at all. Why should I? So if I'm not changing my name, I'm not going to be changing the title either. Ms, it shall remain. In fact, on most of my work stuff I don't even choose a title, it's name only.

I think the Ms for a divorced woman smacks somewhat of male misogyny here. I wouldn't be surprised if the idea had been touted around years ago when men were reacting against the thought that women may actually have a mind of their own.....

It IS unreasonable to expect everyone to drop the Mrs/Miss and all women to adopt Ms once they become a certain age.

I like being Mrs, always have done.

If you like being Ms great, what makes you happy is clearly the best thing for you.

I'm a Mrs.

I like being a Mrs.

That's all.

I had an unmarried Great Aunt who was always known as "Miss Watt". I rather liked it as a child that we shared a title. She seemed to like it too. I am 37 and unmarried and usually choose Miss instead of Ms if given the option, you never know when an eligible single man may be eavesdropping - sometimes publicity is a good thing!

However the thing that rankles with me is that I have a non gender-specific first name and (of course) sign all professional correspondence simply firstname surname. I constantly receive replies addressed to "Dear Mr surname". That said, I would never ever put (Miss) after my name so I can't really blame them for guessing wrong, can I?