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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it would be ok to take my 4 yr old to see HP7

155 replies

Clarence15 · 10/07/2011 15:20

I'm not sure if this is normal but my 4yr old son (along with my 9yr old dd) LOVES the Harry Potter films and has watched them all so far (on DVD) Dh, dd and I really want to watch the final film at the cinema but don't really have anyone we could leave ds with. Even if we did we'd have to keep it secret!

AIBU to think I could take him too? It's a 12A so in theory I could, but although he loves the films there will undoubtably be parts where he'll be asking what's going on or wanting to go to the loo - is this likely to upset the die-hard HP fans?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 10/07/2011 20:51

www.imdb.com/title/tt1201607/parentalguide

lockets · 10/07/2011 20:53

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shorty100 · 10/07/2011 20:55

Wow I can see why there are so many mardy children out there if people are debating taken older children to see 12a films. I would take my 4 year old son but he is very smart and understands its not real and based on a book. He has recently been to see x men and transformers and loved them both. But each to their own. Op I would make a decision based on what your ds is like. If he was fine with the other films I would take him.

lockets · 10/07/2011 20:57

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MorelliOrRanger · 10/07/2011 21:00

I think watching on DVD is totally different to watching in the cinema, my daughter was scared to death of Tinkerbell and the GFR at the cinema, its her fave film on DVD. I also think that 4 is v. young to watch even the first HP film let alone the last 2).

Only you know how your son will be though.

virgiltracey · 10/07/2011 21:02

Yes I don't get the "mardy children" comment either.

My children aren't mardy, they just understand that its too old for them because I've explained that to them. They can watch it when they are older

emmspemms · 10/07/2011 21:05

Please don't take him .
Watch it at home when it comes out on DVD , it will only be a few months.
I think it's very different watching a film at home , in your own sitting room , but in a big cinema, with the special effects much bigger and louder ,much more overpowering and scary.
And being completely selfish DH and I are going on Sunday lunch time and I don't want someone else's 4 year old wanting to go to the loo and having to climb over me .

theyoungvisiter · 10/07/2011 21:05

This is not a dig at the OP, but I find it weird that people are so blase about their children enjoying gory films. I would be really concerned if my 5 year old could sit through scenes of someone being tortured and put in danger and be unaffected. And yet I have several friends who say "oh he loves Bond/Transformers/Gore Fest 3" like they're boasting about their child learning to ride a bike early.

theyoungvisiter · 10/07/2011 21:09

Speechless at the notion that a child being able to sit through a scene of someone being tortured and killed is a sign that they're smart!!!

Whatevertheweather · 10/07/2011 21:13

My 4yr old dd has seen hp1-4 which she loves but there are certain bits we skip (we don't watch beyond Harry and Cedric entering the maze in the order of phoenix for example). She knows she's not allowed to watch any of the others.

She has seen Philosophers Stone 10+ times at home and not been scared but on Friday our local cinema was showing it on a special £1.50 showing so I took her and there were a few bits that scared her once it was on the big screen with the noise and the dark so I think it is definitely a more intense experience.

I know you are now not taking him op which I think is the right decision.

I've got my tickets booked for 9pm Friday night can't wait Grin

AgentZigzag · 10/07/2011 21:16

I totally agree with you tyv, very disturbing.

Hulababy · 10/07/2011 21:21

The film is not a 12, it is a 12A - they are different classifications.

In P much of the unpleasantries are not seen in detail and it is not "real" voilence, like in some higher classification films. It is all fantasty, so takes it away from real life.

My 9y does enjoy the HP films. Yes, some are intense and yes, some people are killed in them, inc main characters. No, she doesn't enjoy charcaters being killed as such, but she understands it is a fantasy story and not real, and nothing like real life at all.

IME the films are not as gory in detail as the books. The books are definitely more intense.

I am generally pretty strict, possible overly so at times, over what DD can see and do - but HP has been fine for her to watch/read/listen to this year.

herladyship · 10/07/2011 21:22

torture & murder can appear in childrens films though..

We had to leave the cinema during the incredibles as dd became hysterical when mr incredible is chained up and he thinks his wife & children have been killed!

She is now 10.5, has read all the hp books (several times), seen the films & is looking forwards to opening night Smile

I would not have taken either of my dc to see hp aged 4 as it was more fun without them Wink

shorty100 · 10/07/2011 21:25

I wouldn't let my ds ever sit through torture or anything that he was uncomfortable with. He just understands that when he is watching a film or reading a book that it is a story and not real. He is not at all violent as a result of anything he has watched.

theyoungvisiter · 10/07/2011 21:25

Hulbaby - they are NOT different classifications.

The 12a category is the old 12 category - it was changed for cinema films because of pressure from parents who wanted to choose to allow their children to see 12 films and who were already allowing their children to view the films at home on video.

"Exactly the same criteria are used to classify works at ?12A? and ?12?. These categories are awarded where the material is suitable, in general, only for those aged 12 and over. Works classified at these categories may upset children under 12 or contain material which many parents will find unsuitable for them.
The ?12A? category exists only for cinema films. The ?12? category exists only for video works. No one younger than 12 may rent or buy a ?12? rated video work."

This quote is from the British Board of Film Classification.

Essentially 12 and 12A are the same, it's just 12a is the cinema listing and 12 is the video listing. That's all.

lockets · 10/07/2011 21:26

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RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 10/07/2011 21:28

Am gobsmacked at the 'mardy' comment tbh. It really, really shouldn't be a matter of pride for a parent that a four year old can watch inappropriate films without screaming or crying. It really, really doesn't make them 'smart' however much you might try and use that line to try and justify yourself in making a parenting decision that most parents would be shocked by.

Judgey pants FIRMLY hoisted up now.

manicinsomniac · 10/07/2011 21:29

I went to see the last HP film (also a 12A I think) with 2 friends and all our children. Mine were then 8 and 3, one friend's 9 and 12 and the other friend's 11 and 13.

My 3 year old watched the first 10 minutes then fell asleep!
My 8 year old didn't watch the scary bits and was a little bit upset but loved most of it.
The 9, 12 and 13 year olds were absolutely fine
The 11 year old had to go out - he was terrified.

So I don't think it's especially age dependent at all, it depends on the child.

theyoungvisiter · 10/07/2011 21:29

Shorty - there is quite a bit of torture and killing in the later Harry Potter films.

I am an adult and understand that films are not real. That still doesn't stop me from finding some films deeply upsetting.

Of course you're completely entitled to take your own view on what your child should or shouldn't view - I just find it very strange when people see viewing a scary film as some kind of indicator of advancement (as you implied with your comment saying that your child was able to watch them because he was "smart"). You could equally say it's a sign of a lack of imagination.

thursday · 10/07/2011 21:29

yeah my 4 yr old knows its not real too, I know things aren't real and they still scare me. i don't think small children being unmoved by violence is to be celebrated.

lockets · 10/07/2011 21:29

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shorty100 · 10/07/2011 21:32

But like herladyship said that can appear in most films. My son gets upset at the lion king yet this is classed as suitable viewing for him. Like I said all children are different and violence doesn't have an impact on my son although we do still make sure we know exactly what he is watching before it is put on.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 10/07/2011 21:33

Watching them on DVD, at home, on his own sofa with the light switch right there is very different to how powerful and overwhelming an experience seeing a film at the cinema can be. I wouldn't take a 4 yo.

But, as other posters have said, your DC, you know them best!

lockets · 10/07/2011 21:34

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theyoungvisiter · 10/07/2011 21:35

but aren't you worried that violence doesn't have an impact on your son?

I think that getting upset about other people's suffering is a good thing.

I'm honestly not trying to criticise your parenting - I just don't understand your point of view. You seem to be saying that it's ok for him to watch the films because he doesn't find the violence upsetting. In your place I would be saying the exact opposite and worrying that watching these films was desensitising him to things that he should find upsetting.