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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit mad for a birthday party?

42 replies

ludog · 10/07/2011 12:21

DD's friend has invited her to her birthday party. The birthday is next Saturday but the party is on Thursday night and includes going to the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter film. This means dd will be coming home at about 2am. Dh and I are up for work at 6am. AIBU to tell my 13 year old dd that she can't go to this party as it is on too late?
Just to add we won't have to collect her from the cinema she will be dropped off home.

OP posts:
pictish · 10/07/2011 12:47
Grin
GiddyPickle · 10/07/2011 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Summerbird73 · 10/07/2011 12:51

crikey at 13 there was no way my parents would have allowed me to do that! regardless of getting a safe lift home etc. my dad would have gone ballistic if i had suggested it! not least because they would lie awake until i got in so they knew i was safe,

but that was 1986 and they were quite strict parents (but lovely too) Grin

FakePlasticTrees · 10/07/2011 12:58

1/ do you have other DCs who'll be woken up by DD's arrival home late?

2/ have you spoken to the birthday girl's parents and established a grown up will be in the cinema with them and they won't in fact be sneaking off to a club?

3/Why can't they all go to the cinema on the date of her actual birthday at a sane showing hour? It's not like they are only releasing this film for 24 hours.

Quite frankly, the birthday girl's parents are being VU to arrange this esp without offering a sleep over afterwards, it's going to make you look like a cow if you say no, but will bugger up your day at work the following day (do they not have work to go to?).

You're going to have to say yes, but understand that she's in quietly as possible, in bed within 15 minutes of walking through the door. Oh, and if you were a mean mummy, you might want to call her at say, 9am from work to just check something... or maybe even call the other girl's parents on your commute to work to thank them for taking DD along...

jubilee10 · 10/07/2011 12:58

Why not phone the other parents and explain your problem. Ask if she could sleep over for the night.

But, if you are not even talking about waiting up for her to come in then IMO UABU.

Original poster
ludog · 10/07/2011 13:11

FPT
1 We have a mad dog who will bark the house down when she comes in!
2 There are no clubs round here that 13 year olds could get into so that's not a worry. They are definitely going to the cinema!
3 Exactly.

@ Jubilee... While I am not waiting up for her as such I will still be uneasy until I know she is home safe.

OP posts:
PedigreeChump · 10/07/2011 14:30

YANBU! The parents of the birthday girl should be making it a sleepover if they want to go ahead with this slightly bonkers plan.

redexpat · 10/07/2011 15:40

Midnight showing sounds like the best birthday party EVER!!! It is the last chance to see a new HP film, I think the midnight showings are where they all get dressed up - think of a U rated rocky horror show. It is a one time opportunity. I think you're a bit of a meanie. Bet you'd be in slytherin!

If you really don't want to be woken then tell your DD to find a friend to sleepover with.

fluffles · 10/07/2011 15:45

sounds like the best 13th birthday ever to me Grin

but why not see if your DD can sleep over with one of the other girls if you're really worried about getting up for work?

MsTeak · 10/07/2011 15:45

you sound like a total buzz-kill to be honest. Can you remember being young at all?

fluffles · 10/07/2011 15:45

oops xpost saying the same as redexpat Blush

pictish · 10/07/2011 15:46

LOL @ 'buzz kill' Grin

Yeah OP, you're such a buzz kill.

Nanny0gg · 10/07/2011 15:47

It's a shame it's a weekday and that the parents didn't go the whole hog and make it a sleepover, but would it really kill you to have a broken night just this once?
You could always do a deal and make sure she leaves you to have a lie-in at the weekend.

Original poster
ludog · 10/07/2011 20:05

Okay, they are not getting dressed up or anything like that...just going to the cinema.
A sleep over isn't on the cards at all as far as I can see. The parents of the other guests are in the same situation as me (getting up to do a days work) and obviously don't want to contend with giggly teenagers keeping their households awake anymore than I do.
My objection isn't to the idea of going to the cinema that late in itself, it's because it is on a working night and will cause a lot of disruption because of that.
I do remember being young (I think Hmm ) and I do allow dd to do quite a lot of fun stuff including sleepovers etc. However, I still think that landing working parents with this sort of invitation without giving a bit of thought to the logistics of it all is a bit much.
However the general consensus seems to be that IABU (and a big fat meanie to boot Wink) so I will give it some more thought.

OP posts:
yearningforthesun · 10/07/2011 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 10/07/2011 20:17

Can you see if there is anyone she could stay over at, who aren't workigng the next day?

It;s a hard one as it means you will have little sleep, or at least interrupted sleep.

But it's a one off. I ccan understand why they want to go - I want to, lol!

threefeethighandrising · 10/07/2011 21:46

I would let them go for a special occasion.

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