Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To feel completely exhausted after a day with my dd?

46 replies

Daydreaming · 09/07/2011 21:59

I always wonder if I am doing something wrong and if other parents feel wonderfully relaxed on Saturday evening?

I am a lone parent. It's easier now that dd is 5, but I still find being a parent completely exhausting. I love spending time with dd but sometimes going back to work on Monday morning feels like a relief...

So this morning we got up, I made breakfast and we got showered and dressed. I then did a little bit of tidying up while dd watched tv. We then went out and walked to a local shop to buy some fruit and veg. Came home and put food away. Made lunch for us. We then went out again to the park and some craft activities. Came home late afternoon and I rushed around to make dinner for us. Trying to convince dd to play by herself while I made dinner. We had dinner finally. Read to dd while she had her fruit and yoghurt. Bath time. Put dd to bed and read story. Dd asleep just after 8. I then baked some muffins and cleaned up kitchen. 9.20 pm. Feel completely shattered!!!

Am I doing something wrong???

OP posts:

DoNotTakeMeSiriusly · 09/07/2011 22:52

Yes one is easy. when you've got a comparison

OP, YANBU. It's easy to feel tired after a day of Why? What? can I do this? Can I do that? Have a glass fo wine (if you drink) and get ye to bed! Parenting is a hard job whether you've got 1 or 11!

Yes, people can say blah blah imagine having 2/3/4/5/infinite. But that's bullshit. If you feel tired, you feel tired, nothing wrong with that at all!

Mare11bp · 09/07/2011 22:53

Get a grip trois don't you ever get knackered?

Funnily enough I always say to my OH how I don't know how single mums do it on their own.

You work as well. Don't be hard on yourself. Give the muffins a miss!

DialsMavis · 09/07/2011 22:54

Take a book to the park and relax while she plays, stick a film on while you make dinner and do the muffins with her as activity in the daytime . I found lone parenting to be mentally exhausting, it is the no respite aspect.

mumblebum · 09/07/2011 22:57

I found having one harder than having two. At least when you have more than one you aren't the only source of entertainment, even if that entertainment is arguing. When my youngest was a baby asking DD to play with him for a bit while I did something was a great way of keeping them both occupied. When it was just DD she'd want my attention constantly and it was exhausting.

Also if you're at work during the week it would make the time you do have with her more intense. I think when you're with them all the time you get better at fobbing them off , and they aren't as needy of your time. I say that from watching mine, I'm a SAHM and at the weekends my youngest really only wants to be with Daddy (who is at work all week), DD was like that when she was younger too.

lambethlil · 09/07/2011 23:04

Give the OP a break about having 'only' 1 dc; I had 3 under 4 at one point but nothing was ever as draining as the intensity of being the only adult with one child.

lambethlil · 09/07/2011 23:06

X with mumblebum!

blackeyedsusan · 09/07/2011 23:06

yes you are doing something wrong. if you are tired you are doing too much. you need to look after yourself and remember that you are in it for the long haul. if you have had a busy day, make somnething easy for tea. you need to give yourself time to recover in the evening.

set up some activities that are entertaining that can be done in the kitchen whilst you cook. washing up plastic teaset/plates etc. drawing with chalk thick/thin or special crayons for the kitchen (tesco do some glittery ones) something that is easy to clear up, (ie not paint!) a special colouring book for the kitchen? then you can talk and cook.

Original poster

Daydreaming · 09/07/2011 23:08

Wow - thanks for all the messages !

Trios - I wasn't claiming to have toiled in the mines all day, but just had one of those days without any time for me. Are you a lone parent? I have been once since dd was very little (not by choice) and have taken care of her pretty much on my own, while working nearly full time in a damanding professional job.

OP posts:

Original poster

Daydreaming · 09/07/2011 23:09

Ps thanks for some really helpful practical suggestions. Off to bed now.

OP posts:

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 09/07/2011 23:13

YABU

As trois says, you really just went to the shops, did a bit of tidying and made food.
Perhaps you're ill?

It all sounds very worthy, 'reading to dd while she ate fruit and yoghurt' and 'popping to local shop for fruit and veg'.
If you had nipped to Tescos for Haribos, Coca Cola and a DVD you may have had more time to cook dinner; child would have happily guzzled, chomped and stared at goggle box for an hour.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 09/07/2011 23:16

Xposts

If you work in a busy, demanding job, today was a comparative doddle, surely?

fernier · 09/07/2011 23:27

Yanbu to find things hard sometimes, everybody does and the day you describe sounds like a lovely day for your daughter.

Only thing I though was maybe a little TOO child focused, maybe try and take a bit if time to relax in the day for you as well - its your weekend too after all and at 5 your DD should be easily able to entertain herself for a while while you just have a sit down.

waitawhile · 09/07/2011 23:38

Some days more than 1 is hard and some days 1 is hard. My mum looks after my two older ones and reckons that is easier than when she looks after other grand child who is an only child. I'd also say that I've even found looking after someone else's child in the holidays to make it easier as mine tend to stop the annoying behaviours and don't want to embarrass themselves.

To the original question. I'm always knackered. I struggle by book time and do start to feel quite ratty. I can actually feel myself just hit a point of exhaustion. I wish I felt fresher. I'd better get to bed then!!!!

EndoplasmicReticulum · 09/07/2011 23:46

I have a six year old who is incredibly tiring, because he does not stop talking from the second he wakes up in the morning until he goes to bed at night. It's like a constant barrage of pointless information (about Pokemon, mostly), interspersed with impossible questions he expects me to know the answers to.

I find it harder to manage him on his own than with his brother, because at least his brother can listen to it for a bit.

OP - I wouldn't have bothered with the muffins, to be honest.

AllGoodNamesGone · 09/07/2011 23:48

It's all relative - when mine were 5, 3 and 1, a day with just the 5yo would have seemed like a doddle. Now they are 16, 14 and 12, if someone gave me a 5yo to look after for a day, I'd be on my knees by the end of it I am sure! The way they follow you around and want to talk to you all the time ... argh!

I was a SAHM but I used to find weekends particuarly hard as DH worked most of them and I felt very isolated and as if everyone in the world was having a relaxing family day except me. I used to plan very quick and easy teas for Saturdays so I didn't have to start anything major in the kitchen when I was already tired and cranky. It helped a bit!

AuntiePickleBottom · 09/07/2011 23:55

I find it harder when I only got 1 out of my 2 dc as normally they play with each other while I have a coffee or pop on MN ect

blackeyedsusan · 10/07/2011 10:11

oh my goodness... that constant talking is exhausting....

pop over to the lone parents board daydreaming.

does your dd's dad have her anytime?

Portofino · 10/07/2011 10:15

Isn't this why they invented CBeebies? Doesn't sound like a tough day to me at all.

Animation · 10/07/2011 10:24

Single parenthood IS stressful.

OP I hope you can somehow great a break now and again. Do you have supports?

itsastrawpoll · 10/07/2011 18:20

Bloody hell this got a bit nasty.

I have two children but I don't bring them up all by myself, DH does too when he's not working.

If I had to make a call between two with a DH around and one on your own I would say EVERY time that single parenthood must be more tiring and more stressful (unless your DH is away all the time or a complete prick).

Have no experience but hats off to all single parents, I would never, in a million years think that I had it harder or more tiring or whatever just because I have two children and the OP has one.

D0G · 10/07/2011 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread