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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why some people can't wait to wean?

114 replies

NobbedaBuilder · 09/07/2011 17:23

I have a fb friend whose little boy is 12 weeks old today. She posted a status saying she was thinking of weaning him last week because he had been looking at her while she was eating. She got a load of comments saying - 'you know best', 'I weaned my baby at 5 days and they're fine' and 'don't speak the the evil hv they will just tell you to wait' and lo and behold yesterday there were pictures up of him looking 'cute' with baby rice all round his mouth.
Now I quite understand that some babies are ready before 6 months and that some medical conditions may necessitate very early weaning but why the hell would you choose to wean against advice, at 3 months, because your baby was looking at you while you ate?
I weaned both dd and ds at around 6 months. For quite a while before that they had been looking at food (amongst other things) and probably would have tried to put some in their mouths had I let them (as that's what babies do with everything). DS was also sitting up at 4 months - I could have interpreted these as 'signs' they were ready. As it turned out ds wasn't even that bothered about food until about 7 months or so.
I realise that some people have to wean early but if you don't have to why would you take the risk? I know the advice used to be 3 months then 4 and then 6 but 4-6 months is the most up to date advice based on all the research we have at present. Most people seem to take medical advice at face value in other areas. You would take a painkiller for a headache, for example, without speculating that in a few years research might conclude that painkillers are ineffective for headaches.
If the baby is perfectly contented just having milk the only reason I can see that parents would start weaning is because they are either ignorant of the risks (not the case with fb friend as she discussed the risks on there and went ahead anyway) or over-excited about their baby entering the next stage of their development.
Sorry for the rant it just made me really cross that this childs health is being put at risk due to his parents impatience.

OP posts:

Original poster

NobbedaBuilder · 09/07/2011 19:42

They maybe were wrong but if you weaned at 4 months when that was the advice you were doing the best you could with the information you had. We have more information now so the advice is likely to be more accurate.
Now that a link between early weaning and allergies has been found for someone to wean their child early when they don't NEED to just because they WANT to is selfish.

OP posts:

Fifis25StottieCakes · 09/07/2011 19:54

But what if this information is wrong and they go back to 4 months. Me and 3 DB's were weaned much earlier than 4 months, in the times people used to put rusks in bottles of milk. Non of us have allergies, non of my DD's have allergies and i cant say i know anyone who has. Obviously there must be people who have.

I dont think the doctors and HV's would have advised me to wean dd3 early if they knew it would casue massive problems.

I would imagine the number of people who wean early is higher than what people think

trixymalixy · 09/07/2011 20:01

Fifis I was determined to follow the advice to the letter and thank god I did as otherwise I would have beat myself up for the rest of my life about my kids allergies. At least I know that I didn't selfishly decide to give a spoonful of baby rice at 12 weeks to try and get a better nights sleep.

If they change the advice I'll be pissed off, but at least I know I did the best I could for my kids on the advice available at the time.

Original poster

NobbedaBuilder · 09/07/2011 20:03

There's a possibility the advice could change but why try and second guess it? It could change to 7 months. Advice could change to say that smoking protects against cancer. It is sensible to work with the most current advice imo.

OP posts:

Panzee · 09/07/2011 20:05

Agree about it being much easier to just give milk. Food is much more difficult!

VeronicaCake · 09/07/2011 20:10

To be fair to the anxious to wean people one reason is just excitement about new stuff. I was so excited about weaning DD (at 5.5m). In the first 6m every tiny little new thing she did was overwhelmingly thrilling - yes she is my PFB, wanna make something of it? Now she could fly into the room and I'd just say 'very nice dear' and go back to trying to read the paper.

I'm always a bit puzzled when people start saying we were all weaned at 3m. I was weaned at 6m in the 70s and so were my 2 sisters. My Mum swears blind that she was advised to leave it as long as poss by her midwife, my Dad (who is a doctor) and by her own mum. There has been a culture of early weaning but it was never universal.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 09/07/2011 20:26

Trixy - i didn't wean early to get a decent nights sleep. She had bronchitis for months. Even if she was not weaned i would not have had any sleep.

After she lost so much weight and refused milk she was weaned on the advice of the pead whilst in hospital.

Lovethesea · 09/07/2011 20:36

I'm concerned about the possible gut damage that might not be evident until much later in life - 30's or 40's - such as coeliac disease. There needs to be more research but it's a case of weighing it up until the full evidence is in.

bringmesunshine2009 · 09/07/2011 20:58

I weaned DS1 at 4 mths on advice of dietician as he was milk allergic. He was and still is a VERY keen and non fussy eater.

DS2 is 8 weeks. Cannot fathom him being ready in 8 weeks time, plus in no hurry to start with the frigging puree and am not evangelical enough for BLW.

That said DS1 slept through when on baby rice so may yet crack at 4 mths.

bringmesunshine2009 · 09/07/2011 21:01

Ah ok am selfish. Yeah bite me, I love my sleep.

HumphreyCobbler · 09/07/2011 21:11

giving solids really buggered up my DS's sleep

trixymalixy · 09/07/2011 21:15

But if you weaned on the advice of a healthcare professional then you are following advice

Fifis25StottieCakes · 09/07/2011 21:15

Yes thats what i am saying , not to get a good nights sleep

reallytired · 09/07/2011 21:17

In the majority of cases when a baby is weaned too early all that happens is that the food comes out the other end completely undigested. Some mothers find it entertaining to spoon puree into their tinies, but is is a waste of time nutrionally. In a minority of cases there maybe allergies, but most of us who were weaned at 6 weeks in the 1970s are fine.

I think there is a range of ages when a baby is ready. I prefer the La Leche League approach of looking at the baby. For example can the baby sit unaided, can the baby actually pick up food and it in her mouth. It seems silly to me to attempt to wean a baby who cannot sit up without support. You need some head control to swallow food without choking.

CoteDAzur · 09/07/2011 21:20

6 months recommendation is there because of the idiots among us who pass their pizza or cheeseburger and chips in the blender and feed it to their baby as puree.

When DD (6) was a baby, the official recommendation here was to start weaning at 4 months, which is what we did.

When DS (2) came around, recommendation had upped to 6 months, but I still weaned him at 4 months because I had had it with his throwing up my entire breastmilk with the burp after each feed and was desperate to thicken the mix in his tummy. It worked, incidentally.

DS started with purees at 4 months and was eating lentils off my plate at 6 months.

Get off your high horse and finding something more worthy to get upset about, in other words.

kickingking · 09/07/2011 21:22

My baby used to watch me intently while I was putting my make up on - that did not mean he wanted to be wearing mascara!

I know lots of people who weaned very early and I think they did it because a) they were trying desperately to get a good night's sleep or b) they were bored, and trying out new foods with a weaning baby is actually pretty good fun.

It can backfire though - my poor sister was a 'example a' early weaner and her DC is still a terrible sleeper at two, and also a terrible eater

Fifis25StottieCakes · 09/07/2011 21:23

Really, my HV told me that she sees people with their children who were weaned at 7 weeks in the 70's when i told her i was worried about weaning early.

I dont think my eldest dd was quite ready at 4 months when i look back but that was the advice then.

I think its much better just to go with the baby. DD2 was definately ready at 4 months. She would make herself ill drinking endless bottles of milk.

HairyFrotter · 09/07/2011 21:42

OP here - not sockpuppetting!

Cote I don't think your situation compares with my fb friend at all so I don't know why you feel the need to jump to her defence. She weaned her baby imo because she was excited and couldn't wait to get the cute pics up for all to see. These are not reasons to put your child at an increased risk of gut problems imo. Do you think they are?
You weaned one child on advice and one who couldn't hold down milk - not exactly the same is it?

midori1999 · 09/07/2011 21:44

Someone I know had started putting baby rice into her 6 week old's last bottle feed until her GP gave her a serious lecture about the reasons not to do this. She told everyone she 'had' to stop the baby rice as the GP told her to, but it seems more likely to me that the GP put across good reasons to wait, which is what made her then decide to. Yes, I did judge her.

I weaned all three of my DS's prior to 6 months. Advice was 4-6 months when they were born and DS3 was weaned before 4 months on medical advice as he was failing to thrive (it turned out this was actually due to a heart problem, which they knew about but didn't realise the extent of until they decided to give him emergency open heart surgery at 6 months old. He only weighed 5KG then and had been 3100g when born). All 3 of my DS's do have mild eczema and I wonder if it is due to early weaning, or maybe FF but I'll never know. DD is/will be breast fed until at least a year hopefully, and will not be weaned until 6 months, so it will be interesting to see if she develops eczema too.

HairyFrotter · 09/07/2011 21:45

If she was on here saying I want to wean my 11 wo - they can't sit up, they are sleeping through the night and are contented but they have been looking at me while I eat and I can't wait AIBU what answer would she have got?

EggyAllenPoe · 09/07/2011 21:49

would you have been this judgy if she FF from birth?

goodnightmoon · 09/07/2011 21:50

i thought it had been completely disproved that early weaning contributed to allergies. I've read it could be the opposite - that late weaning can trigger allergies.

gitinora · 09/07/2011 21:52

And what about in a few years when they decided that 6 months is to late to wean as it linked to something! What then! We will all be told to wean at 4 months again which has been the recomended age for many years. and has done most babies no harm at all.
I think all you can do is do what you think is right for your baby and let others get on with what they think is right.
Started mine on solids at 24 weeks when he snatched a cooked carrot stick off his brothers plate put it staight in his mouth and started chewing

HairyFrotter · 09/07/2011 21:53

She has ff from birth - I don't know why. I'm sure she has her reasons - maybe she can't bf I don't know. I'm only commenting on the conversation I saw. She seemed to be weaning her child early for the sake of it which is what got to me.

HairyFrotter · 09/07/2011 21:54

The 'what if the advice changes again' has been done to death earlier in the thread.

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