Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2

AIBU?

I want to stop taking the pill but he won't approve

45 replies

Anansee · 09/07/2011 08:40

I'm so terribly paranoid on the cerazette pill I'm convincing myself I'm pregnant (which is so terrible it would result in a termination) and even if I'm not pregnant it means the pill itself is causing daily headaches, weight gain and a very slowly decreasing mood as well as a libido of absolute zero.
I don't like taking hormone things full stop, I hate pumping chemicals into my body when I don't even want to have sex anyway, I just do it for him. When I tell him I'm coming off the pill and want to go back to condoms he'll go off in a massive mood and make out that I'm selfish and don't love him etc. AIBU to just say tough shit? it's my body and I don't want to take anymore pills. It's getting me down

OP posts:

Report

Imnotaslimjim · 09/07/2011 10:04

Dump the pill, then dump him, then you don't have to worry about his fuckwittery contraception

startail · 09/07/2011 10:08

DH and I used the cap for a while when we were first together. It's a bit of a messy fiddle. You have not to mind feeling to be sure it's in the right place. We found it a lot less intrusive than condoms .

PrettyMeerkat · 09/07/2011 10:23

What a wanker! I can't take the pill for medical reasons and wouldn't really want all those hormones in my body anyway! And the side effects, weight gain etc! It can be a nightmare. My DH though has never complained once and has harsh words to say about men who who won't use condoms

kat2504 · 09/07/2011 10:25

YANBU - I don't think I'll ever go back on the pill as I also dislike the hormones and, their side effects. Surely if your libido is virtually nil then that means he won't be getting any? Stop doing it just for him and then he might change his tune!
Anyway, why not say that due to the side effects your doctor has refused to renew your prescription. And something similar to his words, ie that he doesn't love you if he wants you to be unwell and miserable.
If he hates condoms that much, and pregnancy is totally out of the question, he should be considering a vasectomy.

eurochick · 09/07/2011 10:30

Why does he get more of a say than you do over what happens to your body?

I also get horribe side effects on the Pill. I have tried it twice for 9 months each time before stopping it on medical advice. I have been sexually active for 17 years, so I have used something else (mostly condoms, then for the last couple of years when getting PG wouldn't have been a problem, rhythm/withdrawal). All my partners (bar one @rsehole who didn't last long) have been fine with it.

If he wants to have sec with you, he can put a condom on or lump it.

TheSkiingGardener · 09/07/2011 10:30

What a complete sod. Of course you are not being unreasonable. Can you replicate the symptoms for him? So whack him over the head daily for the headache, poke him in the eye repeatedly for the bad mood and then tell him he's a selfish got if he asks you to stop?

Better still tell him you are leaving for someone less wankerish.

eurochick · 09/07/2011 10:32

that should say "I have used something else for 155 and a half years". Not sure where the missing words went!

eurochick · 09/07/2011 10:33

15 not 155!

FFS.

I'm going back to bed.

LtEveDallas · 09/07/2011 10:34

Another one voting for dumping the bloke alongside dumping the pill, but in case you don't here is also another vote for the copper coil. I was really scared about having it, but so far (only a week) I'm very happy. A bit of pain on insertion and crampy period pains the rest of that day, but don't even notice it now. I really wish I'd had it years earlier instead of putting up with the implant that screwed with my libido and my weight.

sprinkles77 · 09/07/2011 10:46

Another one to suggest a coil. A friend of mine swears by nuva ring. It does contain hormones though. Yes, he's a shit for trying to make your contraceptive choices for you. I can't imagine he would be prepared to take a pill that messed with his body. Of course the best contraceptive is not having sex! No pills or condoms involved!

NevermindtheNargles · 09/07/2011 10:51

Wow, what a wanker.

LineRunner · 09/07/2011 14:16

Get a coil or Mirena - do go to your local sexual health or well woman clinic to discuss your options, of which there are many - but for fuck's sake don't be brow-beaten over your body and your sexuality any more.

Good luck.

BumWiper · 09/07/2011 16:34

No glove no love.

Andrewofgg · 09/07/2011 18:08

There was a thread recently where the OP wanted her DP/DH, I forget which, to have a vasectomy and he was not keen; and the consensus on this mainly female forum was His Body His Choice. And this is the same in reverse. Stand by your guns and TNS.

redexpat · 09/07/2011 20:22

In order of preference

dump him
he can get a vasectomy
have you tried the patch? Nurses tend not to push it as it's quite expensive. Although still chemical for you.

NotQuiteSoDesperate · 09/07/2011 20:44

I was in exactly the same position as you about 24 years ago! My bf at the time said the same thing too. So I came off the pill and ditched him. Then I met the man who eventually became my DH and went back on the pill. Had the same side effects and he insisted that I should come off it for the sake of my health. I eventually ended up using the diaphragm with no problems at all.

arancardigan · 18/07/2011 10:44

I agree with the others - come off the pill straight away because you're not doing yourself any favours.
Then tell him to "pull up his big boy knickers" and grow up. Is there any real reason he doesn't like condoms? I've used them for a long time with all of my partners (oh God that sounds bad!) and actually prefer them. Get him to go for lots of different types till you find something that suits and use loads of lube. In fact, put a drop inside the condom before you/he puts it on. I'm told that mkes a noticeable difference to the feel of wearing one.
Have a good play around with them, use them properly and enjoy the whole putting them on thing. We have so much fun doing this that I don't understand the cited problems with spontaneity.
Enjoy! x

Sidge · 18/07/2011 10:49

Ditch the selfish boyfriend then you won't need to take Cerazette.

Sorted.

(But if you do need to sort non-hormonal contraception out then do consider a copper coil; have a chat with a practice nurse or at the Contraception and Sexual Health clinic to discuss options. Maybe if you see one of the coils and know a bit more about how it is fitted and works you might want to try it.)

Mrsxstitch · 18/07/2011 11:03

I suspect your low libido is a combination of the pill and your boyfriend's attitude. I actually hated sex when I was with XH.

SpecialFriedRice · 18/07/2011 11:21

Definitely dump the pill. I was on it for 6 months when I was 17/18... I put on nearly 3 stone!! Was on the verge of tears most of the time, no sex drive... It was awful and resulted in ruining the relationship I was in at the time.

Also agree with dumping the guy too. He sounds like a selfish knob. Don't let him make you think you are being selfish!! You've got to look out for yourself first and if he's not happy to use condoms then thats his loss!

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.