To just not want a 40th birthday party?

[WinkyWinkola]

because you'd think I was barking according to most of my friends, dh etc.

The thought of it embarrasses me and I have told dh categorically please no party. I have an awful feeling he and a friend of mine are planning something regardless.

Why is it so unacceptable not to want lots of people travelling miles, spending money etc just because somebody somewhere decided 40 is a significant year?

Floosie, you've got two dhs? Wow. Bet you felt really spoiled!

Tattoo? Brilliant idea.

But despite my expressed wishes to the contrary, I'm really concerned dh and my friend have decided that a party is the only way. And if I walk into a room filled with people looking at me, I'll melt through the floor.. . .. I had that at my wedding and I've learned I really hate all that centre of attention stuff.

I really really hope there is no surprise party.

Oh I'm having a party for my 40th later this year.

My 18th and 21st birthdays didn't get celebrated in any way so I told DH about 3 years ago I fancied party for my 40th; I see it more as an excuse for a big get-together with friends, especially as they're all over the country so I don't see them as often as I'd like.

I didn't want any surprises though so I'm organising it all myself!

If you cringe at the idea of a party though you shouldn't feel obliged at all.

Oh no. If you love a party then go for it! I love parties too but not ones for me iyswim.

YANBU