Computer addiction

[Eeep]

I have name changed for this in case I out myself.

My DH has what seems to be a computer addiction. He plays pc games all the time. If he is not at work, he is on the computer. This has been going on for years and years. I have screamed, jumped up and down, cried and begged for him to see the damage it is doing. He acknowledges he has a problem with it normally after 2 or 3 days of us fighting about it but says its his hobby and escape. He assures me that he will try and cut back but that obviously, never happens.

We are a family of 6 and there are 6 pc's in the house. I personally feel he has bought the kids their own pc's to make it ok for him iykwim. The PC's were bought many years ago and are upgraded and replaced as we go.

My question is this. I have tried many, many times to limit the time spent on the computers. I obviously have no control over DH's pc time (as much as I have tried) but the kids all have free reign as well. They have unlimited access to PC, internet, TV, Xbox and as a result they are on all the time. The kids see Dad on the PC and go on "with him". He will not help limit them or even tell them to get off.

I am at my wits end as this is NOT what I want and I feel the damage that is being done to the family and the kids as individuals is horrific. All of them, including ds4 (who is 10) is allowed any game with any age restricution as DH just buys and tells me I am being daft as its just a computer game.

DH has his own company but its from home. I feel like the computers have slowly, taken over my family and total control over everyone and I have no clue how to sort it. DH and I fight constantly about it but even if he (sometimes) acknowledges that its a problem, nothing gets done about it. He says he is a hermity person and its just who he is.

Sorry its so long but please, please tell me if I am BU and if I am not, what can I do about it. I am absolutely exhausted with it all and the way it affects our lives. This is not how I wanted my kids raised or how I wanted to spend my life. Please advice ways of sorting it.

I have tried before. I have cut the plug of the PC in a rage before. I just don't have the energy to tackle it a nearly 6 month pg, but I have a sinking feeling I will have less energy in a few months time and my dream that once the baby is here he will want to spend loads of time with his family is looking a bit

God Eeep - are you married to my DH? I swear to god if he actually left the house I would be worried!

I wish I had had the balls to do it earlier in my marriage than I did tbh. I'm not saying it was the cause of the breakdown of my marriage but it was certainly a contributory factor.

Jesus, I want a nice pleasant companian to share my evenings with and talk to - not a selfish arse with his head in a laptop, i'd rather be on my own. Which I am now.

Jesus. You need a permanent power outage.

I am only successful in limiting my own DC's computer and TV usage because I am the only adult in the house; and I don't have anyone here undermining me when I switch the wireless router off.

It sounds horrendous. I agree with posters above - be calm and consistent.

Catgirl I know this is sad but I am quite pleased Im not alone (not that I am glad you in the same situation iyswim).

NotSuch I so understand about it being a contributing factor in the breakdown of your marriage. Honestly it has had such a snowball effect on my marriage. I hate the fact that gaming has had such an impact on our lives and literally our lives revolve around it and it has moulded how our family operates. I fight with DH because of it, he says he has issues with me BECAUSE I am aggresive because I fight with him all the time and I fight because of the lack of commitment I feel he has for the family (and the screwed view of family that he has obviously). Its a cycle that seems to have no end!

It wasn't so much the constant playing of computer games and internet usage but the blatent disregard for me and my needs - thats the gist of the problem - the selfishness.

No I get you - I feel the same. Maybe we should start a club! Nice to know we are not alone (but obvioulsy, am also not glad you are in this situation).

My favourite bit is when he wakes me up at 4:30am yelling instructions to some other gamer (perhaps your DH!) and I have to get up for work in 2 hours and cannot get back to sleep.

I love that.

LOL I love the fact that I can be asking for something and he will tell me he cant right now because he is doing xyz for some online friend who he doesnt even know the real name of!! (perhaps your DH!) hehe

NotSuch - that is EXACTLY it. I just cant seem to get that through to him. It affects everything because I feel me and the kids are not worthy of his time.

Maybe they are Best-On-Line-Friends-Forever

hehe