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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell DH off about hygiene?

13 replies

LittleCatZ · 07/07/2011 20:33

this is a constant 'thing' I do that drives DH crazy - I need to know AIBU and OCD?

Example: DH is washing out the kitchen bin in the front garden using the washing up bowl we wash DC cups etc in... I am a bit Monica in that I have other bowls for 'dirty' jobs - he knows this!

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chocolateteabag · 07/07/2011 20:46

YABU slightly - the washing up bowl will get "washed" with the cups too even if he doesn't rinse it out after cleaning the bin. Maybe another example?

At least he is cleaning the bin - my DH would never even think of doing it!
And he sneezes into his hand and doesn't wash it afterwards yyyyyeeeeeuuuuucccchhhh!

Have you done the basic food hygiene course? Think you & DH should do it if not, then you can at least meet in middle?

onebigchocolatemess · 07/07/2011 20:46

Hmmm Hmm - I need more examples before I can make a judgement Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/07/2011 20:46

I'd let him get on with it if I were you, splash the bowl around with bleach/disinfectant/dynamite/whatever you fancy when he's finished.

Complain too much and you might get left with that job to do yourself next time. Let him do it his way, he doesn't have to follow your routine, he's an adult.

chocolateteabag · 07/07/2011 20:48

How old are your DC? Are they running outside and playing in the mud? Maybe you need some aversion therapy? Get out into the garden and roll in the muck!
I write this after havingb watched my DS and my dog "share" toast for breakfast today so I clearly have slovenly standards...Hmm

Original poster
LittleCatZ · 07/07/2011 21:01

I think DH could also wash hands more although as he prepares most of the meals (while I feed DS2 the good stuff) perhaps I need to focus on his good points?

Examples: leaves poo covered cloth on changing mat for me to find and sort out - but he did deal with the situation that caused the mess...

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Original poster
LittleCatZ · 07/07/2011 21:02

DC are 4 and 1 so possibly I should be embracing more mud pies?

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Original poster
LittleCatZ · 07/07/2011 21:04

Loving the idea of the hygiene course btw - unlikely he will agree to it but independent info about hygiene may go down better than my OCD...

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meravigliosa · 07/07/2011 21:38

YANBU. That would drive me demented. I am slightly obsessional, but I really do think that is manky. My DH would probably disagree.

Ormirian · 07/07/2011 21:40

How does he wash a kitchen bin using a washing up bowl? How big is this washing up bowl?

whoneedssleepanyway · 07/07/2011 21:41

I think men don't have the same sense of hygiene as women, I used to always have to remind DH to wash his hands after changing the DDs nappies (even a poo one which i just can't imagine not wanting to wash your hands after).

It would annoy me a bit about using the washing up bowl to do a dirty job but I would prob just bleach it afterwards and wouldn't get too upset about it.

AllGoodNamesGone · 07/07/2011 22:03

YANBU or OCD about this particular example.

We have an old washing up bowl in the garage which I would prefer to use for dirty jobs like this so I'd cringe a bit but leave him to it, be happy to have a clean bin which I didn't have to do and just wash the bowl later, as I did when my mum decided to clean my cooker using the washing up bowl and sponge - not going to complain about a clean cooker! - I thanked her, quietly cleaned the bowl later, reassigned the sponge to "dirty" jobs and got out a new one for dishes!

onepieceofcremeegg · 07/07/2011 22:10

I get slightly irritated if things aren't done "my" way, but I try my utmost to put these thoughts out of my head. For example like AllGood said, if someone used the "wrong" cloth I would just hot wash it/reassign it when the person had left.

The example you gave wouldn't bother me much. He has a bowl full of hot bleachy water (or similar) and a cloth and is using this to clean the bin? No big deal imo as the bowl can be scrubbed out well afterwards.

I would advise that you guard against nitpicking little things. (I have done it myself in the past). What works for me is if there are jobs I really have to have done my way then I do them, but try and let standards go on other things (or let someone else i.e. dh to them his way)

In our house everyone has to wash hands before eating/handling food, and after toilet, but apart from that I try and accept that there are different standards of hygiene.

Original poster
LittleCatZ · 07/07/2011 22:57

Onepiece that is great advice, did quietly clean bowl with dynamite boiling water and antibac soap. Appreciate all the posters who shared their OCD leanings too.

AllGood that reminds me, my oven is pretty disgusting... if he was to clean that I think I could forgive many many things! Your mum sounds fab!

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