saying I have a long way to go to be as good a mum as MIL (20 weeks pregnant)

[quirkyrae]

Hello,
I've not posted before and would love some feedback as to if I've lost the plot or not.
I am 20 weeks pregnant and in a general "sharing our fears about parenthood" with my DP I said I worried that his Mum would compare me as a mother to his Sister. I am very lucky with my in-laws as they are great: MIL ex special needs teacher and sister in law works in a nursery school. DP response, "you'll have to go a long way to be as good a Mum as my mum, she has set the bar very high." I was quite shocked at this, hard to articulate why when asked. It felt quite insensitive, which he isn't normally. To a huge degree he is right, what may have made it worse is that my mum wasn't such a paragon and is an alcoholic. How can I express how it made me feel when I'm not certain myself. All I know is that it wasn't helpful and felt wrong!

Er, well right now he isn't doing very well at the first few challenges of becoming a good father is he?!

He should be starting to think of the three of you as the little primary family unit.
He should be supporting you emotionally and physically.
He should be proud as Punch of the fact that you are growing his baby and think that you are the best thing in the world.
Fail, fail and fail.

Looks like MIL didn't do such a great job of preparing her little boy after all!

Thanks all. It certainly has hit a bit of a nerve with me. In all fairness bw has been very reassuring apart from this which may have made it all the more shocking. I do think I need to stop comparing myself with others, when I haven't even started yet! He is still confused as to why I found it upsetting as his relationship with his mum is genuinely a very good one. His Dad is also very great.
Inkystinky: I think a lot of this stems from what parenting I had and my fear that i'll makes the same mistakes!