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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I involve the police?

65 replies

Gooseberrybushes · 06/07/2011 20:17

I was driving along a country road the other day and a tractor drove out from a side gate and hit my car. Thankfully my 3 year old was in his car seat and only has minor injuries. The tractor was driven by a 12 year old, so it isn't insured. I don't know whether to involve the police because her r grandparents assure me that she is very responsible and it would be really bad trouble for her as she's the age of crminal responsibility. Apparenlty she was only crossing the road to get from the farmhouse to the silage field(they said she carry on doing it because it's normal practice in farming families Hmm)

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit cross about this, and to want compensation for my written off car? They have persuaded me not to involve the police, as apparently even though it is technically illegal it is really ok to let her drive. Even if I called the police I wouldn't get any insurance money because she wasn't insured.

OP posts:
BornInAfrica · 06/07/2011 20:26

This SO did not happen to the OP. Wind up merchant and thread about a thread - all round bad form

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 06/07/2011 20:26

Sorry. Is this a wind up?

Original poster
Gooseberrybushes · 06/07/2011 20:27

hi there sorry I went away and almost forgot but didn't quite

yes you are all Sherlocks - a 12 yo's mum was concerned about her driving a tractor and a bunch of folk said "don't be such a killjoy and control freak"

so I just - well you get the rest Grin

heh heh

OP posts:
MissPenteuth · 06/07/2011 20:28

I don't think it's a wind up as such. I think the OP wants to see what MNers' reactions would be, to compare with the replies to the OP of the other thread.

MissPenteuth · 06/07/2011 20:28

Ooh, x-posts :)

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 06/07/2011 20:29

I see.

I used to teach a kid who died under similar circumstances. Work in very rural secondary school.

I appreciate the raison d'etre of your thread, believe me... but I also found it in extremely poor taste. As you can imagine, I haven't exactly just pissed myself with laughter. You're not to know this, natch, but all the same... Hmm

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 06/07/2011 20:30

I am the OP off the other thread. I don't think Gooseberrybushes meant it as a wind up, but I've had a hard time on the other thread and been called cotton wool, accused of "going Islington" and told I'm only uptight and concerned to get at my ex.

The point is, when the scenario is framed as it is in this OP, the resultant posts are very different to what is on "my" thread.

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 06/07/2011 20:31

LostmyIdentity - but that is the exact point I've been trying to make on my thread, how dangerous it is, and I've been told to stop being a killjoy and stop trying to wrap my daughter up in cotton wool, and how driving a tractor is empowering for her.

Maryz · 06/07/2011 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster · 06/07/2011 20:34

Well I think this thread has served a purpose and made a point.

Runoutofideas · 06/07/2011 20:38

There is a big difference between driving a tractor on a farm and driving a tractor acros a public highway though. I didn't see the other thread so don't know what the actual situation is. The way I see it, driving on a farm where there is no chance of endangering members of the public, and there is plenty of space, no problem. Driving on a public road, for however short a distance, completely unacceptable.

Maryz · 06/07/2011 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BehindLockNumberNine · 06/07/2011 20:42

But there is one big difference - on the other thread the 12 year old DD does NOT cross any roads. She is on farm land at all times.

Surely that has a bearing on how the two threads and subsequent responses are compared???

HerbWoman · 06/07/2011 20:44

But members of the public pop up frequently on farms, either wandering through deliberately or just getting lost. My in-laws run a farm and Joe Public can often be seen driving down the private lane to the farm thinking it goes somewhere useful, despite the private signs.

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 06/07/2011 20:45

Behind - yes this year she doesn't cross any roads, but next year aged 13 when it is still illegal in Ireland she will be expected to, if she isn't for the next cut this year. The next step, as I have said on the other thread, will be down the lane, across the road 50 yards and up the next lane. And if she isn't doing that the next cut of silage she will be next year - past experience tells me that.

Illegal is illegal surely? If your child is injured and your car written off and the driver has no insurance (which she won't) then what difference does on or off the road make?

Original poster
Gooseberrybushes · 06/07/2011 20:47

Behind - there are a couple of elements different - pink is concerned that the road is the next stage as the GPs have NO conception that what they're doing is dangerous and illegal and think it's compoletely ok

the second is that the op's daughter isn't just driving a tractor - it's got a silage trailer behind, way more dangerous

thanks for the patience of most

OP posts:
LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 06/07/2011 20:47

actually, despite being utterly pissed off with the basic premise of this thread, I have to agree with FuckMePink.
Unsafe is unsafe is unsafe. There's no point bleating about H&S issues stifling children's creativity etc... Yes, it may well do, but a 12yr old driving a tractor is not acceptable and were something to happen, I'm sure there are many who would be saying 'oooh, what were you thinking to let it happen'.

Just look at what people have said on here. And if public roam onto private land (because people are, essentially, silly fuckers who won't do as they're instructed...) then exactly whose fault is it? Theirs? Or the 12yr old who is driving a vehicle she is untrained to and unlicensed to?

I'm with the OP on this one. (Although still galled by how emo I've found this thread....)

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 06/07/2011 20:48

So you go to the farm to buy eggs. Leave your sleeping child in car seat in the car as you pay the farmers wife 2 steps away at her back door. 12 year old comes up the yard, totals your car and injures your child. Scenario then is the same as Goose posted here - no insurance in place, no one to claim against, please keep it quiet, don't tell the police etc etc

Original poster
Gooseberrybushes · 06/07/2011 20:48

No - not a wind up - to get a different set of replies.

Also I don't mind being banned and am accustomed to being badmouthed so it makes no odds to me tbh Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Gooseberrybushes · 06/07/2011 20:49

lost - yes it is SO emo - yanbu

OP posts:
fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 06/07/2011 20:50

Lostmyidentity - I am so sorry about your situation and the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt anyone over this Sad

But I honestly have had a hammering off some posters on the other thread saying I am just a control freak cotton wool wicked ex who is only being nasty for the sake of it to get at my ex

Original poster
Gooseberrybushes · 06/07/2011 20:51

Oh - Lost - sorry I just saw your earlier post. I'm really sorry that this seems like a joke about circumstances such as those that led to the child's death that you know. It's not - hope you can see that.

got to go - computer games being demanded

OP posts:
LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 06/07/2011 20:52

FuckMe, I've found your thread...
Bollocks to 'em, that's what I say. I admire your ability to hold your tongue, personally!

peace out... stick to your guns. I think you are in the right. I have dealt with parents who have been bereaved in similar circs. YANBU.

BehindLockNumberNine · 06/07/2011 20:52

Fair enough Gooseberrybushes and Pink - I did read the original thread beyond the first few pages.

I have no experience of the farming community, and thus took it at face value that she was driving a tractor on their land and that would be all she would be doing.
But yes, if the road is the next step, that is of course a no no.

Will stay out of this now, don't have enough information to make an informed comment and cannot be bothered don't have the time nor inclanation to read the original thread. Smile

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 06/07/2011 20:54

BTW in the UK a child is not permitted on a tractor AT ALL under the age of 13. In Ireland it's 14. FWIW.