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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to confine DHs crap to his shed

19 replies

slightlymad72 · 06/07/2011 16:05

His stuff has taken over the whole of the attic, half of a large 4 berth caravan, a 10'x12' shed, half a dining room, part of the kitchen and various nooks and crannies around the garden.
some of the things he has I can say are important to him but other stuff he has not used for years and is only holding on to because it might come in handy, we have discussed the fact that he is taking over the house and garden and the effect that it is having on others in the house, but he never does anything about it, 'I don't have time' being his favourite excuse.
AIBU, if I hire a skip throw out what I deem crap and then throw the rest into his shed?

His stuff consists of magazines that have important articles in them, climbing gear, motorbikes and accessories, tools, walking gear, brewing gear, pieces of wood, pieces of metal, tarpaulins (lots), surfing gear, karate gear, computer equipment, there is more but i am beginning to get a headache Smile

OP posts:
icooksocks · 06/07/2011 16:07

YANBU, it should be a rule that all mens crap should be kept in the shed.

[Speaks from bitter experience emoticon]

fanjobanjowanjo · 06/07/2011 16:08

Get a skip delivered, tell him what it's for and see if that doesn't make him do something about it! Take action!

FruStefanLindman · 06/07/2011 16:12

OMG - are we living with the same man? Grin
I feel your pain. Sad
I'm fed up with it too. Hmm

AgentZigzag · 06/07/2011 16:15

I was going to say what fanjo posted.

We've got more stuff in the loft/shed than in the house Grin

Anything you can ebay?

fuzzpig · 06/07/2011 16:15

Go join the declutter, declutter, DECLUTTER! thread on the Good Housekeeping board :o

walesblackbird · 06/07/2011 16:18

I too am married to a hoarder and it drives me bonkers. I sneak things - in various stages - out of the house, into the garage, and then into the bin. He has (or rather he thinks he does) bags of ancient clothes - think pleated trousers with turn ups - saved in bags in the garage. Err no ... they went a long time ago. Ditto bags of paperback books which he was looking for at the weekend, but couldn't find them Wink.

And why does he have to save every box that an item came in? Are we really going to need a box that the tv we bought two years ago came in? I don't think so!!

slightlymad72 · 06/07/2011 16:23

Thank god I am not alone Grin
I think I am in for a quiet night tonight, I have just told him either he gets his act together and starts making attempts to get rid of the crap or I will, so he is now sulking!

OP posts:
Gingefringe · 06/07/2011 16:27

Good on you. My DH is the same. He started to brew his own cider last year and keeps all the stuff in the kitchen - it's driving me mad - loads of bottles of cider in various stages of fermentation scattered all over the kitchen - we've had a couple of bottle explosions this month and that was the final straw!
I agree that men's crap must be designated to the shed or bin.

Rocky12 · 06/07/2011 16:32

I think hoarding is rife. My father was terrible. When he and my mother divorced his rubbish spilled over to all rooms in the house (and he had a big house). There was a hideous sofa in the hallway that you had to squish past, he thought some charity would take it but never got around to calling one! Newspapers with good articles. Old TV's because the spares might be worth something.

Realistically - what do you think will happen if you chucked most of it in the skip. I am actually being serious - could he go bananas, could you break up - my father's new partner did this many many years ago. She couldnt stand the mess. He broke up with her - said she had stolen it all and demanded to know the skip company and where they had dumped it!!

GoEasyPudding · 06/07/2011 18:04

Yes - be careful here as Rocky12 said he could get really upset if you threw it out in a mad skip filling frenzy.

Do you have room in the shed or do you need a 2nd shed? A 2nd shed would solve it as you could put everything that offends the eye in there! If it dosent fit in it then he cant keep it. This stuff sounds like shed fodder to me - so go for it.

If he says he dosent have time you had better believe him! Dont expect him to do it, do it yourself apart from the big stuff or you will never get your house back.

Alternatively give him some options and information.

Quite short term goal setting for you both will help. "By September I need my kitchen back so lets look at getting 2nd shed or maybe a SKIP?" Just state some facts to him and then do it.

If you cant do the 2nd shed thing, please say and I will come up with a suggested plan of action for you. I love to declutter, Love it.

ThisisaSignofthetimes · 06/07/2011 18:05

I thougt was why men had sheds - storage of crap?

PaisleyLeaf · 06/07/2011 18:16

Have you room in the shed for it? Not the magazines/computor stuff though.

kaid100 · 06/07/2011 18:49

I think it might be better to threaten to put the stuff you deem to be crap in the skip first, rather than doing it unexpectedly. If he still doesn't declutter, then it's fair enough to go ahead. Although keep in mind how much of your own stuff is lying around too.

INeedALieIn · 06/07/2011 18:55

Bin it!

There is no other cure. I (mistakenly) allowed dh to build a compound (a few fence panels really) around the shed to house more crap. This is now full and he is STILL taking over garden/house/universe...

Glitterknickaz · 06/07/2011 18:58

Oh no, not the keeping every single box trick.
Mine does that too.

PaisleyLeaf · 06/07/2011 20:10

I was thinking the same as kaid about your own stuff. You might be on to a losing argument if you've got loads of books, shoes, clothes, cushions, candles, kitchen appliances you don't use anymore? Maybe he deems a lot of your stuff to be crap.
Just saying.
I know my SIL nags my brother about his computer stuff while she's got a load of exercise equipment and ornaments. She just doesn't like the look of his things or something.
It does sound as though your DH has too much stuff but you can't just put it in a skip.

Maryz · 06/07/2011 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eaglebird · 06/07/2011 20:27

It costs about £170 to hire a skip for a week.
Save yourself £170 and see if you can agree to donate some stuff to a charity shop / sell on Ebay / throw out.
If you offer to help, he may be more willing to get rid of some of the stuff.

slightlymad72 · 06/07/2011 21:22

His shed is full, the only space left is where the freezer door opens, that space is clear only because he has to get in and out of the freezer, if it was me that had to use it then I would have to shift stuff to get in it.
Only half the caravan is used by him because I have cleared/cleaned it 3 times already this year, I turn my back for 5 mins and he begins to fill it up again with the contents of the car.
I have offered to help him clear on numerous occasions but he doesn't like me to, as I ask him why he feels he needs to keep every little thing, eg, 2" of copper piping. Copper is expensive don't you know
He can try to complain about my stuff but he knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on as all my stuff is in their proper home, bookcase, draws, cupboards etc and doesn't clutter every available surface. And I regularly cull my clothes and books.

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