to think that if you're a man who doesn't want children and disapproves of abortion, you should either get sterilised or eschew sex with women?

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

I think it's unfair to get into a sexual relationship with a woman where there is a chance of pregnancy (however remote) if you're going to be opposed to her having an abortion, but also not prepared to be a parent to any resulting child.

AIBU?

Elephants - if you know men who would leave their OH purely because she got pg, regardless of whether she aborted it or kept it, then I agree with you entirely.

Lying - at Specsavers!

Maypole - that is :( and and he is a cowardly bastard.

OK, if you're in a relationship where you don't want children but would be very upset with your partner if they aborted, then yes, you should be the one to make full responsibility for contraception, up to and including getting yourself sterilised. You can't tell someone you don't want kids, but wouldn't condone an abortion, and then sit back and let them take all the contraceptive responsibility.

Is that what you meant, OP?

yes that's sort of what I meant Annie/thumbwitch.

I am trying to imagine how I would feel in a relationship with someone with that attitude - knowing that if you got pregnant through no fault of your own it would definitely be a massive problem.

So if you don't agree with abortion your options are sterilisation or only purely procreational sex?