to want friend to punish her child?

[jadefox]

I was at my friends yesterday and her 8 year old son threatened to kill my 5 year old daughter then tried to strangle my 71/2 year old boy (his 'friend'!!!!) The mother did NOTHING!

I am fecking RAGING as you might expect. My friend has been through the mill a bit recently and cant cope with her sons anger problems, just disolves into tears - he has also attacked her recently as well as other children in the area.

My 2 do not want to be friends with her son anymore, and who could blame them? should I continue keeping in contact or cut my losses and run?

your friend and her son need support at the moment. do not see her for the time beign with your children and if you still want to be a friend help her get the support she needs

punishing her son will only make him angrier it will not help anyone

Freud speaks sense.

Omigawd
You have missed my point a bit.
That is exactly what I am saying and (I assumed though I may be wrong) bird is saying.

If there is sn involved it may be pointless going on about how op should try and set boundaries because there may be no point or it may be self defeating. In that situation the child may not be capeable of being responsible. So the parent is responsible.

Of course I would never let that situation arise. My son would never attack anyone but I would be the person best placed to deal with it if he did. So, in the ops situation is the responsibility would be her friends and not her son.

You say you would be imposing your own boundaries but that is not what you mean. You mean you would protect your child.
I think you are talking about boundaries as a euphemism. I am talking about boundaries.

Pagwatch- you have understood what i am saying. There is no way that a child should be allowed to strangle another without intervention,, but if a SN child is becoming frustrated, you are best removing him from the situation (descalation techniques) not say 'punishing him for not being able to sit right through a dvd or in some cases even share or take turns for a length of time.

The child (i have taken it to be depression that the DM has) may not be getting a reward system, that may work better than punishment.

The OP's children shouldn't be being attacked but you cannot expect the same level of behaviour from all DC's, especially if the child has issues through his DM's problems, understanding needs to be applied alongside the right sort of discipline.

The child doesn't seem to have any diagnosis so there can be some bounderies in place but these can encompass a reward system.

The DM is failing him at present and i feel that the OP should be discussing this with her friend, rather than isolating the child further.

That is if this is a friend and not acquaintance, who would stand back and not point out ineffectuale parenting to the point that the child cannot mix with others.

Why is the child be demonised?

Although 'the failing parenting' is through other problems, so that wasn't a judgement, just as a friend, surely you would act in everyones best interests.

@Pag @Bird Ah sorry I misread it then - thanks.