to be fed up with 2nd timers banging on about their super quick, amazing births?

[Beegey]

My DC2 was born in three hours. It was quick but horrendously painful with no time for an epi. I got a 3 degree tear so having just laboured with g&a, was wheeled off to theatre for a spinal, which they failed to put in the correct place several times. The whole thing was awful and left me feeling pretty stunned. My ds of course is a peach and totally worth every hideous second.

However, I have noticed that lots of second time mums keep banging on about how totally different the experience is second time around, how lucky they are to have a quick birth etc.

So aibu to be hacked off that people assume I am really lucky to have had a quick birth?

Mine were all 9 hours, 9lb + babies ...... dh reckons I made a right meal out of it!!!

Mine were all 9 hours, 9lb + babies ...... dh reckons I made a right meal out of it!!!

Mine were all 9 hours, 9lb + babies ...... dh reckons I made a right meal out of it!!!

Omg how did that happen???????

DD1 - 36 hours, slow and steady and long.
DD2 - 4 hours but much more intense.
Average of 20 hours per birth

Blessedly no tears and very little pushing.

Well, I had quick labours (dd1 4hrs, dd2 3.5hrs, ds 4h40) and I do feel grateful! No tearing, all good experiences (sorry!)

I don't bang on about it, but I sometimes think first-time mums might prefer to hear my "it's not necessarily going to be as bad as they all say" stories than all the horror stories I was offered when pregnant for the first time!

I was actually pretty hacked off that ds took so long I had convinced myself that no 3 was going to be a 1hr labour, so I got quite huffy when he didn't arrive to my timescale, and actually complained to the MW that my contractions weren't painful enough!

I still think my second was my easiest and calmest labour. with dd1, noone would believe me that the baby was on its way- I had to demand an internal, and was told I was being silly- until the MW finally humoured me by checking and then went into panic stations! With my second, I felt more confident and felt the MWs listened to me more as a second-timer, so none of the panic.

Don't get me wrong- I'm not for a minute saying that quick= easy, and I know too quick can be pretty traumatic for some women. But I was happy to be told that my second labour would, in likeliehood, be easier than my first.

DS1 was born in 2 hours

DS2 from start to finish was 4.5 minutes. I would not brag about it as it was the most frightening thing ever.

I was told if I ever had another then I would spend the last 6 weeks in hospital as both were early and quick...I am not having another!!!

Ds1 was long and painful weighing in at 11lb2 and with more tearing than I care to remember!
Ds2 established labour only an hour hardly any pain gas and are with no stitches needed- wernt you lucky everyone says except placenta was retained so down to theatre spinal block and a bloody surgeon who cut me nearly as bad as the tear with ds1!
Ds3 cord prolapse emcs with a cut from hip to hip and high up into the womb as they couldn't reach him 32 weeks and 4lb 4
I've given up thinking I might have a nice birth, just waiting to see what this one brings!

Yes, I do have some sympathy , most of my friends had epidurals first time round, and then had shorter natural births for second or third and do bang on a bit about them being shorter etc

Ime first time birth is usually a LOT worse whatever the length of labour- it is the first time those muscles have contracted and that your body has been through it- you did well to manage on just gas and air for a first birth

Ist birth - 14 hour labour, very traumatised baby (heart rate down to 40bmp at times) and emcs. Collapsed 24 hours later and ended up in high dependency.

2nd birth - 8 week labour, emcs, cs didn't heal for 4 weeks and I now have a manky round bleuurry scar.

So I get riled at anyone's 'happy easy' birth stories. I'm totally unreasonable for getting narked but I do jealousy quite well!

YANBU. my DD2 was much quicker (2hrs 18mins) but so much more painful than DD1 was (59 hours) and back to back. I would have DD1's birth again but not DD2's. I had an episiotomy (sp?) with both DD's

DD (DC2) was a far quicker birth, but that didn't make her birth easy or less painful.

The epidural did, though.

DD longish birth, epidural, stitches, post-partum haemorrage. DS1 very quick, no stitches, leapt off the bed into the shower after the birth, understood the phrase "like shelling peas".
DS2 much slower and more painful than DS1. Made mental note to self ten minutes before he was born not to go through this again. Have now forgotten all bad bits, but mental note is still there.

Total myth (short and painless second labour) mine second was fast, not a good thing in my case.
First contractions 5.45am DS2 arrived 8.40am, we just about made it to hospital, nearly had her in hospital corridor.
No time for epidural, strong and very painful, forceful contractions I was in agony, DS2 10b 7oz. came out with one very painful push together with 2 pt. of my blood at which point I passed out.
I had to be stitched inside and out, my bit's were all out, also made mental note, never again.
Don't get me wrong well worth it (DS adorable) I also heard stories and boastings about fast, bloodless, painless labours, I guess I was unlucky.

Totally see your point. Everyone told me it would be easier second time round. In a lot of ways it was, but because it all happened so quickly- waters went and 6 minutes later DS bunjy jumped out my fanjo- The contractions went from "oh my god this fucking hurts!" to "oh my gooooodddddd! I'm going to fucking die! heeeellllllpppp me someone!" The MW who delivered DS said this was because I went from what seemed to be a slow labour to to second stage within minutes. It was terrifying. I honestly thought I was going to die, or the baby would die, or both of us. Mind you, that could have been alot to do with the rotten staff...

My second was so easy that it was untrue. Yes it hurt but it was over so fast. No cuts, grazes and a very large baby. It is not unreasonable to tell it like it is. I am not going to pretend it was hard and horrible when it wasn't! It is all just down to luck I think and man my luck was certainly in thay day!

DD1 = 8lbs, 6 hour labour, epidural, 40 minutes second stage, 2nd degree tear, bruising, sore for a week or so after.

DD2 = 9lbs 2 oz, 6 hour labour, gas and air, 8 minutes second stage, 2nd degree tear but fewer stitches, no bruising, no soreness whatsoever.

So not a lot of difference except recovery from DD2 was quicker. Was definitely a lot less scary second time round. Also pregnancies were almost exactly the same length - DD1 41+2, DD2 41+1. I was same weight at full term in spite of being a lot heavier to start with before DD2 pregnancy.

I don't understand why a lot of people assume fast = easy and painless.

Given the choice which would you prefer - two minutes in a boxing ring with Mike Tyson, or twenty minutes with Kylie Minogue? Speed isn't everything!

Did the Race for Life at the weekend. Kept trying to tell myself as I went round that the faster I did it, the quicker it would be over.