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AIBU?

to get slightly upset when partner introduces me as Amanda4.... as there have been 3 before me?

54 replies

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 14:41

Having put up with it and on his phone as A4 for 2 years..... the joke is suddenly not funny anymore.

Should I see the funny side? Or indeed, is there one? Or.... ?

OP posts:

Report

branstonsandcheese · 05/07/2011 15:06

crosspost - notacloud, he humiliated himself by insisting on perpetuating this unfunny and insulting 'joke'. He ruined your evening. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you're not the one acting like a show-off schoolboy.

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 15:07

I know..... but thats different.... :)

OP posts:

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 15:08

it's different was referring to terry wogan!

OP posts:

ivykaty44 · 05/07/2011 15:10

exdickhead1 or nomoredickheadsafterthis1

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 15:12

I have actually changed it to Dick Head...... may make me feel better for a minute....

OP posts:

EightiesChick · 05/07/2011 15:15

I have always found this one of Wogan's most irritating habits (and there are a few)

As someone else said, what are his good points? Does he have any?

Having a baby with him complicates things. Sounds like he thinks he can count on you to go on putting up with this. Is that true?

ShoutyHamster · 05/07/2011 15:16

Yes you did humiliate him, and he bloody well needed it.

Point out that if you were him you would learn from this, because it would be even more humiliating to be dumped because your partner (and the mother of your child) simply couldn't take your insulting, childish excuse for a sense of humour any more, and had decided that she and her child would have a happier life with a different kind of man.

Make him see that you are really, really not prepared to joke about this any more...

I don't think you'll have any more trouble with his mates, by the way. Incidentally, laugh they may (because that's what people do) but they will all know and understand entirely why something like this would piss you off. If it were them on the receiving end, they wouldn't like it at all. They're probably just surprised you've bitten your tongue for so long!

EightiesChick · 05/07/2011 15:16

It feels like descending to his level but I'd be tempted next time he does this in public (and he will) to call him '7th best sexual partner' in return.

eurochick · 05/07/2011 15:18

Eightieschick that's brilliant. Go on OP. I dare you. In front of his mates.

ivykaty44 · 05/07/2011 15:18

unfortunately it will only give you a small pleasure for a minute - as you are not the dickhead....

EndaHoran · 05/07/2011 15:19

Has he just started this, or had he always called you that?

branstonsandcheese · 05/07/2011 15:21

I know a fair few 'oh look what lads we are' -knobbers- guys like your P's friends and I bet they'll respect you more now you've made a stand. Doesn't sound like your P will though = their approval is more important than yours, which is a fucking shame when you're his partner of 2 years and mother of his child.

I'd be putting on my most 'gentling' voice and suggesting he see someone about his self-esteem issues...

branstonsandcheese · 05/07/2011 15:21

knobbers even.

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 15:22

thank you.

it's all a bit more complicated than that...... they know he's difficult.. but great when being nice...

there are other children and we are a family now....

OP posts:

EightiesChick · 05/07/2011 15:28

You need to work out exactly how you are going to make the point, every time he does this, that it is unacceptable, then.

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 15:34

I think I've made the point to him.... but the real point is... he thinks that its ME thats unreasonable and lacking a sense of humour...... to the point that its caused a row, showed him up and he wants out! he's stressed about other stuff.... as i said it's complicated....

grrrrreat.......

anyway, perhaps it'll all be alright tomorrow......

thanks all

OP posts:

spookshowangel · 05/07/2011 15:37

i love it....he's great when he isnt being a massive knob. obviously i am paraphrasing but thats how i just read your comment op.

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 15:39

it does read like that your right.. need to ponder that i think...

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branstonsandcheese · 05/07/2011 15:59

Are the other children his with Amanda 1-3? Do you know how they feel about being Amanda 1/2/3?

Agree that 'he's lovely when he's not being a huge twat who disrespects me at a fundamental level and gets irritated when I'm upset and says he won't marry me unless I pretend I think it's funny' isn't very lovely.

Adagoo · 05/07/2011 16:02

TBH OP, you needed to stoop to his level. Don't say sorry. Don't even be sorry. He's being a disrespectful knob who needed pulling up on his dickish behaviour.

Now you have humiliated him (which I for one pat you on the back for) he should stop. And he needs to get over it. If I were you I'd breeze about without a care in the world for a bit. After all, it's a good humoured woman he's after

notacloudinthesky · 05/07/2011 16:44

yes... that's very true. I like that idea Adagoo... not sure I'm capable of doing that though... but I will try :)

The children are mine... from a previous marriage... and they are all fabulous kids. I think he loves them all, but it is now dawning on him that they limit his lifestyle which I am finding upsetting... as he obviously knew I had them when he met me.. But that's another story...

Fundamentally, he is immature relationship-wise... and I'm not sure now that he is able/wants to "grow up" I suppose and face his responsibilities... I'm a great mum/person/woman.. I've helped and supported him..

I hadn't realised that he was getting irritated when I'm upset..... I really need to look at that...

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Keishara · 05/07/2011 19:42

Oh my goodness i thought it was just me! I am Keishara2 for my DP as well and we're getting married in a few months. he doesn't see why it bugs me either but i'm changing his phone myself soon!

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Inertia · 05/07/2011 20:06

It's not just that he lists you as that- he takes such obvious delight in winding you up about it, and that's what would get to me the most. As his longstanding partner and mother of his child, you deserve more respect.

Alternatively, you could tell him that you're also adopting a number-based nomenclature for partner and exes, and he's now in your phone under the name 3-inch.

cazza40 · 05/07/2011 20:11

He sounds like an idiot and is very disrespectful .. Why do you put up with it ?

catgirl1976 · 05/07/2011 20:12

You do need to give him some sort of nickname. Maybe go for "once" and when he asks what it means tell him it the number of times he's made you cum. When you meet "always" - thats the man you'll marry.

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