To think this is outdated and actually discriminatory?

[RevoltingPeasant]

I registered with a new GP on Friday, and as part of the form, you have to fill in your marital status. The options are:

-single
-married
-divorced
-widowed

...That's it. I co-habit (in bureaucratspeak, anyway!) and I'd hazard a guess that a fair number of other people do, too. But there is no way to record this. And, even worse, there is no box for 'civil partnership'.

I'd have thought that they want to record this info to see whether you live with anyone (in case you need help) and to determine next-of-kin rights in an emergency. So leaving cohabitees out is a bad idea, but leaving civil partners out is surely a big problem.

AIBU?

NotaDisneyMum - easy solution - get married.

Nope - been there, done that!

Just think it's interesting that despite it having no legal status, the government is happy to consider "living together as if you were married" when means testing

its almost refreshing hearing such a simple form as the original posters i have filled out surveys that give you three options for gender, and no, the third isnt 'prefer not to say'.

What's wrong with that, LadyS?

If every application form had to have all the relationship statuses (is that a word) on them, it would be a bloody big form!

And yes, you ARE either married or not. Civil partnership isn't the same as marriage. If you are in a civil partnership, you are in a civil partnership, you are not legally married.

If you require an OP as you said, you will be asked for next of kin, or emergency contact details.

It's true, civil partnership isn't the same as marriage.

Which is why it's so incredible that people resist gay marriage on the grounds that civil unions are good enough.

If those in a civil partnership are that worried, they can just write 'in a civil partnership' on the form, under all the other options.

You could have simply written 'in a de facto relationship' on the form.

I was given a form with the options of Mr or Ms on it. No miss, Mrs etc. I am a Mrs, proud of the fact that I am. So I wrote it on the form & circled it. The receptionist told me they didn't have a provision for Mrs on the software, so would register me as Ms. I told her to leave it blank as I am NOT a Ms. Funnily enough, when I saw the screen in the room I* was in, it said 'Mrs Differentname' on it...

Maybe if more people added these things of their own volition, someone at the GP's practice might think it needs adding to the list.

Be pro active. Just write 'co habiting' or in a 'defacto' relationship. It isn't hard.

Differentname I know CPs aren't marriages - that was my point!!! But they are a legally recognised status. So they should have a box.

Look, either the GP wants to know: 'Does this person have a legally recognised relationship which we should know about because their partner will have some rights?' - in which case, it's married, CPed, etc.

OR they want to know 'Does this person have a live-in partner in case of emergency, aftercare, etc?' - in which case 'cohabiting' should be an option.

...OR they are just living in the 1950s and only care if you got married in a church or are One of Those Girls.

I didn't tick anything because actually...

RP because?

I think it's interesting that people are "proud" to be married. That's probably a whole other bunfight thread.

While it is true that if the question says 'marital status' then there are indeed only 4 possible answers, I think that the problem is the use of the option "single". Just having a boyfriend or girlfriend immediately disqualifies you from that description, never mind how odd it feels to tick it if you are long-term co-habiting. So wouldn't the solution be to give the option of "Unmarried" instead?

Anyway OP, think yourself lucky - when you fill in an application for a Hong Kong working Visa the options are: Married Divorced Widowed..... Spinster!

Argh stray 'because'

Do you know what, this morning I might well be married and wouldn't remember!!

Teenie I have a friend who has a t-shirt emblazoned with 'spinsta n proud'

But it is a GP questionnaire, surely if you require surgery the hospital questionnaire...as I already stated....will ask for your next of kin & will provide after care instruction.

I doubt that your GP is going to do anything to you that might require giving aftercare to another adult that can stay with you!

RP

I was wondering what the "because..." was going to be!

Well if this question isn't about next of kin, then why would they need to know if you're married?

We had this problem when I was pregnant with DD, it's completely bonkers, because a huge percentage of babies are born out of wedlock - it doesn't make all the mums single parents.

At the hospital somehow my mum was listed as the in case of emergency contact (THE LAST person I would allow, and they wouldn't let me change it to DP, so I had to have my dad.)

Which is why we got married before I got pregnant again because I was shit-scared something might happen to me and my mentally unstable mother who I ran away from at the earliest chance would get an opinion and the person who I love and choose to live with wouldn't.

'First Name' is a better catch-all.

'Given name' is better, because some cultures put the surname first.

LaWeasel, I think that there is a big difference between being a 'single' parent and being a 'lone' parent.

Also, regarding the comment about being 'proud' to be married, I'm wondering if posters who say this mean that they are proud to have made a public legal lifelong commitment to another person and it is a huge commitment otherwise why not simply cohabit. That said, I'm well aware that many men and women feel free to walk away from this at the drop of a hat.

That's why it's stupid IMO.

A person who is pregnant on there own is obviously going to be need to be supported in a completely different way through their pregnancy, if they have older children they might need to be advised on emergency childcare for the birth for example.

Whereas someone who is cohabiting is in a committed relationship but just doesn't happen to be married.

The reason we weren't married, for eg, is that I was already pregnant when I graduated from Uni we were both on low wages, we just couldn't afford even a small wedding, because everything was being saved for the baby and (now DH) finishing his degree. I was also vomiting near constantly and the whole thing would've been miserable as celebrations go.

It's a completely different situation to someone who is actually on there own.

coz whilst there are all sorts of possibilities with relationship status, i would haszard that 99.9 percent of the population are either male or female. im not talking sexual orientation, but actual gender. of the people who go through sex changes, they usually get it changed legally. the third option for declaring your gender gave me pause for thought

I suspect it's an old form. Write in your actual status, point it out at the surgery when you drop it off, and get on with the rest of your life.