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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask exactly how badly a 3rd dc affects your body? i KNOW, i KNOW its shallow, sorry!

49 replies

superv1xen · 03/07/2011 12:21

and i know everyone will be a bit different, but if i can just get a few honest stories i can weigh the risks up in my mind

me and dh have been considering dc3 for a while now and tbh my broodiness is getting the better of me Blush

but the one thing that is still putting me off (and as i say i am aware of how awfully shallow it is) is what state my body is going to be in afterwards

i am 31 as well and had my other 2 in my 20's so my body is not TOO bad, although i have a bit of a saggy tummy, stretchmarks and my norks are beginning to head sadly south Blush and am starting to notice the odd line on my face. but i look ok in clothes and can still scrub up ok if i make a bit of effort. i am not sure i would look that different if i had never had kids tbh, as, at the age i am at there is bound to be some wear and tear Wink

it would be a planned c/s as i have had the other 2 by that method. and also worrying about how bad a 3rd c/s would be pain wise, recovery time, scar etc, as my 2nd one was worse than the first.

would it REALLY fuck things up if i had a 3rd? and lets face it in a few years everything will go to pot anyway Hmm more dc or no.

and sorry again for the shallowness. i wouldnt dare ask my friends this question as they would think i am a vain twat mad

OP posts:
TrinIsASadSpottyFatRhino · 05/07/2011 10:15

three vaginal births before I was 30 did nothig to my body
no stretchmarks, no problems donw there,no extra weight

my dh dying and me giving up put on two stone but the babies didn't do anything

Fifis25StottieCakes · 05/07/2011 10:40

Ive got 3, no different from 1 and 2.

spudulika · 05/07/2011 10:48

Had my third dc at 39 and my body is shot. Pelvic floor is crap.

But then I don't exercise at all and I'm 45 now.

My tits are fine surprisingly. And that's after more than 5 years of breastfeeding.

spudulika · 05/07/2011 10:49

"If I had three kids it would be like this + 50% worse I think. It's more my mental health I'd worry about, though this would have an impact physically as well."

Spot on. I've been depressed and knackered since having dc3 and it's made a big difference to my weight. Not in a good way.

thesunshinesbrightly · 05/07/2011 10:56

Ahh i wouldn't worry about it... no one will give you a second glance after 35 anyways Wink.

fatlazymummy · 05/07/2011 11:08

I have had 3. My 3rd pregnancy did affect my body more than my 2nd, but that may just be due to the individual circumstances of each pregnancy. I sailed through my 2nd pregnancy, didn't put any weight on and had an easy birth. In my 3rd I got flu in the 7th month which made me cough a lot which affected my back and pelvic floor.
I am overweight now but that wasn't due to pregnancy.
So really, who can tell? I suppose the best thing is to look after your health as much as possible and hope for the best.

wolfhound · 05/07/2011 11:12

Just had DC3. Pregnancy was harder than last two, but I am 40 and have had 3 kids in 4 yrs so given body a bit of a battering. Stomach will never be the same but otherwise hope to look reasonable again in a year or so...

TheBolter · 05/07/2011 11:25

This is one of the reasons I won't have a third... I know I sound superficial but I'm quite a young 35 that likes to dress up, g out and look good. After piling on four stone during my two pregnancies while in my 20's I know that a third now would shoot my body to pieces! I've lost the weight now, I'm a small framed size 8 so the extra weight made a massive difference, made me look like a different person, and despite the absolute joy that my two babies brought me, I was miserable as hell every time I looked in the mirror.

Oh and make no mistake... at 41 you will not be 'washed up anyway'. Most of my friends are in their forties and still into looking fabulous and going out. Most of them seem to be on a permanent diet - so if you're worried now you will be more worried once the double whammy of fat and wrinkles hits you!!

You have been warned... Grin

(I sound v superficial in my response - of course having a baby isn't just about the way you'll look afterward but as the OP is on that subject that is the reason for my 'looks-centred' reply!

worraliberty · 05/07/2011 11:29

Had my 3rd child at 33

No stretchmarks
No saggy boobs
No weight gain

The saggy boobs and weight gain came when I turned 40!

alliwant · 05/07/2011 11:42

wolfhound I second your post, I am about to have DC3, also 3 kids in 3.5 years, so like you say a battering! I am so looking forward to that "done" feeling and getting my body back, although it'll never be the same! To be honest I was always a bit chubby and self concious and after my second child I lost stacks of weight and looked better than i had in agesGrin I will be back to WW 6 weeks after the birth and am determined not to keep the weight on (i have put on a lot Blush)

I also am worried about the mental implications, I am just getting ready to be too busy to scratch my own arse for atleast a year Grin

Can some one tell me the magic time when having 3 gets easy??!

wolfhound · 05/07/2011 12:41

actually, this baby (so far, at 3 wks) miles easier than first two, so it's not too bad! or perhaps i am just used to having no time for myself. having no time to look in mirror def reduces the body image angst :-)

Original poster
superv1xen · 06/07/2011 09:59

thebolter yes that sounds like me

i'm only five foot 2 and a size 8, so i am slim but pregnancy makes me look like a beached whale, even though i managed to keep the pregnancy weight gain down last time to about a stone and a bit i think, i still (in my eyes) looked massive. i kept the weight gain down by basically dieting (i know, i know) and also swimming 2 - 3 times a week and doing pilates. but it was very, very hard and at times i was absolutely exhausted. and also as i was only 28 when i fell pregnant with #2, i think that helped in itself too.

but i don't know if at the age of 31 i would be physically able to keep the weight gain down, and have the time and energy to exercise with 2 other dcs.

at the moment i have been doing stomach exercises for the last few weeks in an attempt to strengthen my stomach muscles before i even start ttc

OP posts:
Original poster
superv1xen · 11/07/2011 12:11

well we have decided to go for it, i am now off the pill

but very happy and excited :)

OP posts:
porcupine11 · 11/07/2011 12:20

I just went for it! i'm also 31 and think i'm pregnant with dc3, AF due today but v faint line on test just now!

Body is ok, but my tummy is buggered up from dc2 (10 lb 1 oz) - stretchmarks and loose skin. However, I can make it look flat when clothed. Or I could, though since last week it's been incredibly bloated, like 4 months preg bloated, which I hope is a sign that I really am pregnant.

I agree with poster who said that you'd regret not having dc3 more than any stretchmarks etc, and we're all going to age anyway. just keep up those pelvic floors - try and do several hundred a day. had a midwife yoga teacher who was obsessed with pelvic floors. she was 51 with four kids and a great figure.

unpa1dcar3r · 11/07/2011 12:25

I've had 4. Two in my twenties, the other 2 in my 30's.
No C section admittedly, all natural births. But no stretch marks whatsoever.
Went straight back to size 8/10 after 4th within few weeks same as with other 3.
So I think it's more to do with your metabolism.
Now in late 40's and still no stretch marks, or saggy bits considering me age, and still size 10.
And I'm not particularly fit so it isn't that. Just take after me dad; skinny and stretchy!

So unless you simply mean about having another C section I don't think a 3rd will make much difference really.

Original poster
superv1xen · 13/07/2011 16:23

porcupine SEVERAL hundred pelvic floors!!??? seriously?? i'm a bit obsessed with them and do about a hundred a day, thought that was more than enough :o

lucky you unpaidcarer bet you look fab. i was the same with my first two, back in a size 8 very quickly. but under the clothes i looked a state :o

OP posts:
porcupine11 · 13/07/2011 17:04

A couple of books I have say 2000 a day! I feel amazing if I can do 200, but I do include the type where you do one big one and then loads of little ones on top of it, that are really quick

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 13/07/2011 17:15

I've had 4 children... 3 born in two years (and no twins!) then a gap and no 4..I'm 43 and still a size 8 .. fair few stretch marks but I got those at 24 .. and the rest still scrubs up ok:) and I don't wet myself when I sneeze!

I'd take another baby over perfect skin any time:)

InPraiseOfBacchus · 13/07/2011 17:29

I'm just struck by the fact that you think it's shallow! It's your body, your only one, and everyone ought to know what was going on inside it. You're a person too, not a baby-producing husk!

Sorry, I don't know why that struck me so much. I hope everything works out for the best with your baby! x

issynoko · 13/07/2011 17:34

After 3rd had very saggy belly, loads of stretchmarks, permanent rosacea and heavy droopy breasts. And a lovely, hilarious little girl with a cheeky, very loving heart. So sod it, now I'm pregnant with number 4 because I'd rather have them than a flat tum. Bikinis are overrated. Children aren't.

issynoko · 13/07/2011 17:35

PS. I still look bloody gorgeous with my Spanx, a bit of make-up and a confident smile.

Chynah · 13/07/2011 17:36

Crikey! I have had 2 DC at 39 & 40 by ELCS no stetchmarks etc although norks are not what they once were! Have thought about #3 but I thnk I'll count my blessings and stick with what I have.

Firawla · 13/07/2011 17:39

I think most of the damage is done by the 1st one anyway, isn't it? I got some stretch marks with my 1st but no more from dc2 and so far no more from dc3 either (due in a few weeks), have put weight on with each pregnancy but it can be lost.. i lost couple of stone after dc2 but put it back on now with this pregnancy, im sure it can be shifted again though, probably depends how much effort is put into it.

Original poster
superv1xen · 14/07/2011 15:29

inpraiseof i assumed other mnetters would think it was shallow, i thought i would get flamed, i was pleasantly proved wrong :)

issynoko - thats really lovely :)

firawla i reckon most of the damage was done by my first one too.

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