AIBU to ask you to tell me your worst chld-rearing errors just to make me feel better?

[gallicgirl]

I'm feeling like a useless mummy this morning. I managed to put DDs bottles in the steriliser last night without any water. I didn't realise until after I'd made up her bottles this morning. Two of the anti-colic rings are damaged so the bottles don't seal properly. They cost £3.99 each to replace and Philips are out of stock anyway so I have to go buy new bottles later.

Not a big mistake in the scale of things, DD isn't going to be damaged but after 5 months, you'd think I'd be able to do this pretty simple task without cocking it up. Although it makes me feel like shit right now, I know in the back of my mind that I'm not the only one and I will probably make far bigger mistakes in the future.

So come on, cheer me up by telling me your worst cock-ups.

Please?

Oh, and DD ate so much sand at the beach that she pood sand the next day . she also tried to eat cigarette butts and ring pulls.

I trod on DS1's foot today, it made me feel awful so I'm glad to see in the grand scheme of things much worse things happen!

Previously I've done a few head bangs on doors and one on the computer desk (was paying attention to MN when DS1 propelled himself forwards ). I've also cut DS1's head cutting his hair, when he started wailing I checked his ear really carefully, found nothing and thought he was just throwing a tantrum for no reason. I started telling him off before seeing a bit of blood running down his neck from behind his ear...

I have had loads of falling down stairs and falling off sofa incidences but the one that still makes me feel sick when I think about it was when ds2 was a little baby and couldn't roll yet, he fell asleep on my bed so instead of moving him to his cot I just left him where he was. A bit later on I thought I heard a noise from upstairs, but couldn't hear anything when I stopped and listened. I nearly left it but decided to go upstairs and check on him. A heavy feather pillow had fallen over his face and he was screaming and bright red.

I am fairly certain that if I hadn't gone up when I did, he would have suffocated :(

hmm well...

when dd was a newborn i kept forgetting she was in my arms and knocking her head against door frames

ive slammed her fingers in the stairgates

i was swappin the car seat from my car to dh's car, strapped dd in got in the car dh drove off dd cries i turned round to put her dd back in her mouth only to realise (on the middle of a roundabout) i hadnt actually strapped dd seat in. that was the worst 30 seconds of my life waiting for dh to pull over praying no one hit us!

leaving the phone charger plugged in dd crawls over to it and put it in her mouth gets a mild electric shock giggles and does it again

i made up a bottle for dd gave her abit and put it in my bag to sort out later. went to my mil for the night, it had been a very hot night, forgot about bottle in my bag dd woke up took the bottle out of my bag and started to drink it. dd then had quite bad food poisining form off milk that stank so much when i washed up the bottle, the smell made me throw up!

after a long and hard day,whilst dh was away for the week i left a screaming dd to fall asleep in her cot thinking she was safe, finally she fell quiet i went in to find her asleep with her leg stuck between the cot and the wall.

i think this officially makes me a negligent parent its a good job none of you know me in rl you'd be calling ss by now!

I'm so glad I read this today - yesterday I found that the spout of DD's cup was full of mould... it's probably been like that for days and she's been happily drinking from it! How did she not get sick?!! Reading this thread, it doesn't seem to be the worst thing I could have done though!

I've read so many posts about clipping baby nails/fingertips I thought I'd pass on a rare piece of good advice from my MIL.

She told me to bite my tiny prem DD's nails because my mouth would be more sensitive to her fingertips than the scissors and the nails are so soft they don't need scissors.

It was good advice!

haven't finished reading yet but in 4 months i've cut the top of dd's fingers while cutting her nails

worst one is that for weeks when i gave her a bath she use to scream the house down. got to the stage where only my sister could bathe her

turned out the water was too hot for her

haven't banged her head (yet!!!!)

We once drove from Reading to Kew Gardens (i.e. a fair way, along motorways part of the distance) with a 4 mo DS1 floating about loose in his car seat, without the straps done up. DH thought I'd strapped him in and I thought DH had done it.

Same DS also fell into the gutter and got a nasty gravel graze down his face when he was barely toddling. DH thought I had him and I thought he had him... see a pattern here? We do try to make a definite point of checking that the other parent has done something (or not) now!

dd fallen down the stairs 3 times between the ages of 1 and 3, only one A&E trip needed though
dd (then aged 3 years) found and ate a good number of very strong anti sickness tablets left from my pregnancy with ds, A&E for that one although they kept asking me if she had been sick and then realising that it would be unlikely given what she had taken. I won't admit that one to anyone, feel so awful about it, I am on some very strong and dangerous meds and they are all kept in a locked box, somehow the anti sickness ones had been left out as I wasn't taking them any more. dd was however fine, no ill effects just a boring few hours spent on a heart monitor.
I managed to lock myself out of the house the day after we moved in (so no one had spare keys yet) with dd (16 months then) asleep upstairs. Luckily the back door was open but there is no access to our back garden other then the house, 6 foot fences all around. First introduction to our new neighbour was him climbing over his fence and then through the messy chaos of the house to let me back in. He is the only one of our neighbours who we don't have a really good relationship with now, wonder why...

Laughing at lots of these, sorry

I did a trial session of a baby class at a neighbouring (poncy) town when DS was 10 weeks old. No one spoke to me except to pass critical comment when DS was screaming and I was so upset that I forgot to strap DS's car seat in. He was fine, thankfully.

6mo DS crawled off the side of the bed and hit his face on a stack of books on the floor. He had a cut eyebrow, a black eye and bruidsing all over his forehead :( This was the day before the nursery home inspection visit with an Ofsted inspector

DS was rushed to hospital at 11mo semi-concious with pneumonia and a temperature of 40.4. He was been under the weather for a few days but I thought he was teething :(

I was pedalling a ride-on toy with 15mo DS on the back. It suddenly got harder to pedal and I stopped to find DS had tried to get off and I had run him over, getting him stuck between the wheels and the frame :(

I caught a cat getting ready to poo in the carrot patch in my back garden yesterday and hammered on the window and hissed and shook my finger at it. DS spent a lot of time yesterday jabbing his finger in the air and hissing at random people

reading this has cheered me up no end, realizing I'm not the only one who does these sort of things!

Forgot to strap DS into the car seat when he was about 6 months old, only to find when I got to the shop he was still in the seat but it was not done up! Plenty of banged heads on light fittings when playing with the kids. DS pulled his sister off the bed when she was about 3 weeks old, onto the bedroom floor and the midwife gave me a really really hard time about it. She was fine btw, but I resolved to keep some stuff to myself in the future!

I was at my friends house today. I managed to grab DC5 just as he was stepping into the main road

In a few seconds he had got down the hallway, opened the door and got to the end of the drive.

Fecking feck feck!

Rubbing menthol on ds chest at 3 months old. He had a nasty cold, after a warm bath i thought id rub some menthol on his chest to help ease his breathing and bunged up nose.

Suddenly he started gasping, and turned bright red, his eyes couldnt shut and seemed to be bulging, oh my God i cant even think about it! NEVER AGAIN!

When DD was about 2 I bought a child seat for the back of my bike.

I ensured that it was fitted correctly, carefully strapped her in and made sure that her bike helmet was secure. I then got onto my bike as I always did by swinging my leg round the back kicking DD straight in the head!!! Almost knocked her out cold, thank god for the helmet

When DS2 was 4 months old, I forgot to strap him in his bouncy chair on kitchen table. We had builders in (stressful time, or at least that was my excuse), I made them a cup of tea, took them upstairs and while I was briefly chatting with them, I heard a terrible wail. DS2 was face first on our tiled kitchen floor. I cried for longer than he did....

2 mths ago, a supermarket delivery man didn't shut our garden gate behind him. I should have checked, but it didn't cross my mind that he wouldn't. As I unpacked the shopping, a neighbour found my boys (2.9 and 16 mths at the time) 100 yards up the road. Luckily it's a very quiet road, but we have a stream running along side it....

Last month, we were on a ferry and I went into the loo with both boys. The door had been at a very odd angle and it didn't shut properly, so I shoved it and then really whacked it to get it shut. Cue a loud wail - DS1's fingers were what was stopping the door from shutting!

And to add to my terrible mothering skills, my DH has managed to put DS1 (then 13 months) to bed without any covers (we'd just got back from hot Spain and he was 'out of the habit', apparently!), then consequently go in and try and settle him 3 times in the night when he was crying from cold, but still not notice. I finally went in at 6am and realised what the problem was. He also leant DS1 in a backpack, up against a wall, got distracted and let go, only for DS1 to fall forwards in in, onto his face. And he got DS1s tummy skin caught in the clasp of the high chair on a hot sunny day.

Honestly, I am horrified by the above now that I re-read it!

lots of knocking his head on door frames and getting him out of the car, he does not seem to notice anymore

not strapping him into car seat, luckily didn't drive far before he decided to climb our of his seat though i was flummoxed for a few seconds how he could

oh yes i had forgotten, buried deep into my subconscious. ds was in his little car stroller, i had just had my new car delivered. i wanted a quick look. now normally i took him out of the stroller but i thought i would only be a few seconds, ran out of the door, closing it behind me to keep him safe, looked at my new car ran back then realised i had locked myself out

i had to entertain him at the window for an hour before the locksmith came, by then he had fallen asleep. though my neighbour did promise to kick in the door should he try to get out of his stroller, luckily he loved zooming around in it

This will make you laugh.

We had a bouncer thingy you hang from the door. DD adored it and DH particularly enjoyed winding it up tight and letting her spin. She would put her head back and squeal with glee....until the day he wound it a little too far and she whacked her head on the side of the door.

Seriously though, DD rolled off the bed when quite small. I remember admitting it to my MIL who simply raised an eyebrow and said "Well it won't be the last time something like that happens".

Slug, you could've earned how funny that would be! I'm sat in a Dr Sugery trying my very very hardest not to burst into a fit of giggles.

Some of these are so funny, I am stifling laughter!

SDTG- I so understand letting him eat tortillas from the bin anything to prevent the screaming from starting again...

I also snorted at your breastpump Kara, sorry.

Deaddei - my psychology teacher did the same to her son's teddy and told us about it in class when he was in the year above us. He wasnt impressed about either.

DD2 (2 and a half) needs watching very closely as she does mad things sometimes. Most recently, she decided to jump from the sofa on to the coffee table. Of course she didn't make it and gave herself two black eyes and a nose bleed, 1/4 inch lower and she'd have broken her nose. She does this sort of thing a lot.