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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to keep this inheritance, even though it's worth far more than I thought?

64 replies

Helenagrace · 02/07/2011 16:04

Bit of background first. My Grandmother promised me her wedding ring for years. When she died her daughters handed me a bag of jewellery, but not the wedding ring. I wasn't that bothered as I'm not quite sure what I'd have done with the ring anyway. The daughters kept her pearl necklaces, all the gold and her engagement ring as well as my great-grandmother's wedding and engagement rings. My grandmother didn't leave a will.

I've been wearing a few bits of my grandmother's jewellery but one pair of earrings was damaged. I assumed they were costume pieces (albeit very nice ones) and asked a jeweller to see if he could repair them as they had sentimental value.

The jeweller has repaired the earrings. He also valued them as he realised they weren't costume. It appears that I have accidentally inherited two beautiful pearls and 2 carats of diamonds set in platinum. They are worth around £3000 but I have been advised to insure them for double that. I love pearls and will treasure them and wouldn't want to sell them. I plan to wear them to my brother's wedding next month.

My DH now thinks I should ask the two daughters (my aunts) what they think. I think I should keep them and say nothing. My mother agrees with mebut she's always believed my aunts are money-grabbing anyway.

So am I unreasonable for wanting to keep them? What should I do?

OP posts:

Northernlurker · 02/07/2011 18:17

Well fair enough then OP!

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 02/07/2011 18:19

Oh definitely keep them. The aunts gave them to you so they are not entitled to try to ask for them back in any way. They are yours now, enjoy them.

superjobeespecs · 02/07/2011 18:30

when my nan goes she's said ever since i was a tiny girl that i'd get her signet ring and maybe her engagement ring. i used to sit on her lap and twirl her rings and make her tell me the stories behind them :)

i think the fact the sisters were money grubbers and took all the obviously valuable jewels should make you wary of telling them the value of these as they would more than likely find a 'reason' they need them back.

PrettyMeerkat · 02/07/2011 18:44

Don't tell the aunties. They are money grabbing shit bags. Did you say anything at the time about your ring? I wonder how they justified it.

They would be completely unreasonable to ask for it back so I don't think your DH should worry about that. Just tell them to fuck off it they do, oh and ask for your ring at the same time.

Inertia · 02/07/2011 22:03

I can't see any need to tell them tbh- they were given to you, you didn't take them by mistake or anything.

It's lovely that you have beautiful jewellery that you can wear on special occasions and remember your grandmother by.

And, as PrettyMeerkat says, you don't want your aunts to come up with some spurious reason why they should have the earrings back now you've had them repaired and discovered their value.

Cocoflower · 02/07/2011 22:07

As sausages said- it's Karma!

Henwelly · 02/07/2011 22:12

I would have also said - thankyou for the lovely extra things of GM's but I was looking through and the ring she had always promised me wasnt there - dont suppose you have it do you?

sausagesandmarmelade · 02/07/2011 22:29

I have a hunch that your Grandmother would be absolutely tickled by the way things have turned out....probably not pleased that you didn't get the ring...but thrilled that you are now the owner of some very special earings that she had...and are wearing and enjoying them!

They are yours...you are the rightful owner.

PatientGriselda · 02/07/2011 22:54

Money grubbing shit bags? Grasping? Greedy?
These women are grieving for their mother and it's entirely understandable that they want to hold closely to her possessions, regardless of what may have been said to the granddaughter previously.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 02/07/2011 23:09

And totally disregarding their mother's wishes along the way? Grief is no excuse for that.

Keep them, and ask about the ring.

fit2drop · 02/07/2011 23:16

I would tell them

and keep them

PelvicFloorOfSteel · 02/07/2011 23:23

Have you had the rest of the jewellery valued? It might not just be the earrings which are worth more than you thought .

Definitely keep and enjoy them.

spookshowangel · 02/07/2011 23:49

how could they demand them back.... them:give them back! you: why? them: because we made a mistake and they are worth something damn you. you:no, fuck off.
they cant make you give them back so i would worry enjoy in good faith with your granny smiling down.

PatientGriselda · 02/07/2011 23:51

Sorry, but the daughters' grief trumps the granddaughter's desire for the ring, whatever the grandmother had said. Have a little compassion, for heaven's sake.

ScaredyDog · 02/07/2011 23:52

Keep them and do what you want with them.

It's possibly a bit strange that your grandmother wanted you to have her wedding ring when she had two daughters - so I'm not really surprised that in the absence of a will, they kept her wedding ring - but those earrings are yours. End of.

PatientGriselda · 02/07/2011 23:53

I mean, keep your earrings, by all means, but don't make it all about revenge on your aunts. I daresay their mother's ring means more to them than it ever could to you, and you should be adult enough to realise that and gracious enough to let it go.

edam · 03/07/2011 00:00

Oh Patient, don't be so sanctimonious! Yeah, right, they weren't trying to rip off their own niece at all - it just so happened that in their floods of tears they made off with the wedding ring that they know full well their mother wanted to hand to her granddaughter.

If you believe codswallop like that, maybe you'd be interested in a business proposal my Nigerian internet friend has. He just needs your bank account details...

PatientGriselda · 03/07/2011 00:03

"Rip off"? You must either be insane or have no real idea of grief or bereavement, edam. If it's the latter, I'm very happy for you.

zippy539 · 03/07/2011 00:06

This is definitely a 'message from beyond the grave' scenario - and I don't even believe in that kind of bollocks. Your Grandmother wanted you to have something hugely significant and you've ended up with that by default. Don't dream of returning the items. How would your aunts ever find out how much they were worth anyway? Stop worrying and enjoy - your Grandmother is delighted at how things have turned out. :)

edam · 03/07/2011 00:14

That's the second profoundly stupid statement you've made. It is precisely because I've experienced grief that I know it doesn't make you help yourself to jewellery that was left to someone else.

lalabaloo · 03/07/2011 00:15

I think it is lovely that the items were valuable to you even before you knew they were worth a lot, that means more than a ring that has been kept for other reasons.

There's no need to tell the Aunts the value of the jewellery, they gave it to you because they didn't want it despite knowing it wasn't what your Grandmother wanted. I know they were grieving, but I know my families wishes and if I knew I was supposed to give something sentimental away I would feel comforted to know I was doing what my relative wanted, so not sure if grief would excuse them keeping the ring. I suppose if they had explained sentimental value etc it might have but it sounds more like greed on their part to me

PatientGriselda · 03/07/2011 00:15

Blimey edam, oddly enough that's the second time you've sounded profoundly stupid to me as well.

LolaRennt · 03/07/2011 00:17

They shouldn't have kept the ring, it wasn't theirs to keep, bit of karma for you. I probably would tell them though because it would be fun... don't see how they could ask for it back.

Collaborate · 03/07/2011 00:29

In law if your grandmother died intestate then you weren't entitled to anything (I know you didn't post it in legal but I can't help myself).

Morally though the aunts got it wrong not giving you the ring.

They've gifted it to you. A gift once given can't be taken back. There's nothing they can do to ask for it back. Up to you really.

TragicallyHip · 03/07/2011 00:31

Fgs don't tell them!

Bit mean for them not to give you the ring. Karma baby!

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