to question decent parenting

[mildmanneredtwunt]

So friend A has a 9 mnth old pfb. He is organic home made goodness all the way.

Friend B has 16 mnth old (p)fb munching on doritoes and chips.

Friend A baby is immaculate, full clothes change 6 times a day to ensure no sticky banana residue on cool sex pistols t-shirt, no dummy, don't smoke within 2 miles of him molly-codled. SAHM.
Friend B's baby is grubby, free range, oops tried to eat a ladybird, laid back parented. Nursery 5 days/week.
However .. Friend B's dd is - and always has been - the loveliest, happiest sweetest little girl who I just love spending time with. Can take her anywhere, she'll fall asleep easily at friends houses, sit happily in parks (and beer gardens), interested in everything and fun and lovely. Whereas friend A's boy is whingy, clingy, scared of dirt and so restricted by routine that we can only see parents after 8pm if we visit them at home.
I thought I agreed with friend A's style (apart from the ridiculous clothes changing) but now question the merits of over thinking parenting. I expect there is a happy medium, but AIBU to think that basically you should make life easy on yourself as a parent cause all the extra effort is not worth it.

i really agree with divine. i don't think most of it matters that much. how you parent is more about who you are than what is best for your children.

all you can do is your best. what is difficult if not impossible to know is - would friend A's baby still be clingy if friend b was his mum?

nature or nurture? who knows? have to say the more i go on, the more i think it is mainly nature, which i find quite reassuring.

I think as long as the child is loved and safe then it's wrong to criticise anyone's parenting choices. Just because they are different to yours doesn't mean they are wrong.

I think the norm is to sit somewhere between your two friends with most people starting with the ideals of friend a then moving more towards the laid back approach of b.

If I changes Ds (19 months) every time his clothes got dirty I would spend all day changing him and washing! I think it's fine for them to get a bit grubby. As long as he starts and ends the day clean I am happy!

"Friend A (with whingy boy) never stops bitching about Friend B's parenting. Cause she'll never let little A eat a salty snack, have a snotty nose, be 'raised by others' and I'm so sick of it because - as I keep pointing out to her - little B is fine and happy and sociable. Feel she has become a judgemental supermum who can't see beyond doing the 'right thing'."

That's how I got the impression that she was sneery. Unless she "never stops bitching" in a happy smiley non-judgemental way, I suppose, but I can't get my head around exactly how one does that.