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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask people not to come round on dds birthday?

12 replies

familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:09

i know iabu and ungrateful but why cant we just chill on dds birthday.

in past years dd was home all day on her bday and everyone was told to pop round whenever they wanted and have a slice of cake and see dd.

but dp and i agreed that we were then stuck in all day waiting on great uncle bulgaria etc and spent the day making endless cups of tea and not doing anything dd wanted to do.

this year dd is at nursery in the morning, we are then taking her for lunch, coming back to open her presents and then having a bday tea with her grandparents and show them her presents, she will be 4 and this will be enough for her and she will get some fun and we will restrict tea making to tea time and only our parents so noone to wait on.

except now we are getting endless texts/phonecalls asking what time distatnt family/ our friends can pop round to see dd on her birthday.

so they can either come while she opens her presents which i dont want or while we are having tea so we have to cater for loads instead of 8 which i dont want.

aibu to ask them to come saturday or sunday instead or do i have to let dds day be about every one else again?

i know you are going to tell me its just a birthday and let people pop round and whats hard about making tea but last year we had to ask people to leave at 10pm as we were knackered.

OP posts:
mrsscoob · 01/07/2011 20:12

I don't think yabu at all! If people ask to come round just say that you are taking her out this year and to come round at the weekend instead. I don't see the harm in that at all.

DogsBestFriend · 01/07/2011 20:13

Sod that for a game of soldiers, YANBU! Tell the hoards to come over on X afternoon from Y time, mentioning that you must bath DD and get her to bed at Z time. If they don't like it, tough!

eurochick · 01/07/2011 20:15

YANBU. Break the habit now otherwise you will still be doing it (and dreading it) in 14 years' time!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 01/07/2011 20:17

Just say you're taking her out for her birthday and you'll see them on Sunday!

We purposely go away on holiday for DD's birthday (in August) to avoid such things, but what works well is to advertise DD's 'party' well in advance, so everyone knows the date we're doing extended family things. So, I've just announced DD's party (the Sat before her birthday), now... at the start of July... so it's in everyone's diary and they're not expecting to see her on her actual birthday too Grin

Original poster
familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:17

really, i thought you were going to flame me Grin
they all work midweek and expect to come over after dinner about 7ish but both dds are in bath/having stories then and its so disruptive, thats why i thought the weekend would be ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:19

some of these people i have seen this week but they have said oh i'll have to arrange when to bring dds card, why didnt they give it e then, why does everyone want to come on the day

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 01/07/2011 20:46

It's lovely so many people want to wish your DD happy birthday, but a PITA when something you're not keen on gets into a routine, a bit like Chr*mas.

I agree with the other posters to focus them all to a specific time.

Happy birthday to your DD Smile

Northernlurker · 01/07/2011 20:49

I assumed you were excluding grandparents but as you're talking grandparents in for tea and just wanting to avoid all of Rabbit's friends and relations descending - no yanbu.

tralalala · 01/07/2011 20:56

YANBU but I am jealous of how many relatives are interested in your DD, we have only once had any relative come to any of ours birthdays (and we have 4 kids!). why not have a tea party and invite them all to come for tea and cake at the same time.

Original poster
familyfun · 01/07/2011 21:03

there are too many of them, plus divorces mean some family expect us to ensure they dont meet and will never visit at same time.

OP posts:
FairhairedandFrustrated · 01/07/2011 21:26

Is your dd the only child in both families?

I've never known anyone have whole extended families over for a birthday unless there was an actual party.

I have a son & a daughter & it's only grnadparents who visit on birthdays - friends/aunts/etc all post a birthday card, send a text msg etc etc

But YANBU, tell them all you won't be in but will see them some other time :)

Original poster
familyfun · 03/07/2011 21:16

no she isnt the only child in the family.
well today 2 friends delievere presents wich means lots have frogotten she is at nursery in the morning and will turn up, oh well

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