To consider moving back in with my mum?

[OscarLove]

I am in my 30's and live alone as a single mum to my DS's.

We live in a decent-ish council estate but I am really struggling with finances and thought the easiest thing to do would be to move back with my mum and her dh (my stepdad). I have been rolling around the idea in my head again and again and I know my mum would take me back in a flash, but i'm so indecisive, it's a decision I can never make on my own even though I have to! There are pro's and con's to both situations.

Living As We Are Now

Pros are:

Free to do whatever I like when children are at school/childcare and i'm off work

Having own space away from interfering adults

Don't have to answer to anyone about where I am going (when kids are with their dads)

Very, very attached to our little home

Like the area and surrounding towns and countryside

Rent is very cheap (we're with local authority)

Cons are:

Sometimes I finish work late and have to walk down a dark alley to get to home. This scares me.

If I finish late there are often drunks/junkies/knob heads on the bus home

Very tough financially. After paying bills and rent, I am left with £40 to feed and clothe me and the lo's PER MONTH

Never been on holiday since we lived here because of tight finances

Can't afford nice things

No garden

No family/friends for over 12 miles away

Neighbours keep themselves to themselves

Anti-social behaviour from some neighbours

Living With Mum And Stepdad

Pros are:

They have a garden

Adult company

Help with lo's

Will have around £400 PER MONTH to spend on whatever we like after paying mum and stepdad board and lodgings

Ready made friends and family live in area

Nice, quiet residential area

Cons are:

Could be tension living with 2 other adults

They are quite untidy and I like cleanliness

When I have ME time away from DC, I will be questioned by mum where I am going/who with

They are noisy talkers and have tv on loud til late at night so could be hard for DC and me who are used to sleeping in more quiet than that

They stay in bed til past 10am. DC can't be kept quiet til then

The big one: THEY SMOKE LIKE CHIMNEYS! They would refuse to smoke outside (ok, it's their home) but their clothes and the house smell and it would kill me if they would smoke around DC, and they wouldn't make any concessions for them, after all it's their home

So that's my dilemma. Please help!!!

£40 a month to £400 a month is quite a leap.
They might really want more of a contribution than you're thinking of.

I admire you for managing to live on £10 per week after bills. I was on that amount as a student 15 years ago and I found it a real struggle just to support myself.

Are you getting all that you should from your kids dads?

Personally I wouldn't move back home. I did it briefly in my mid-20s after the freedom of university and found it v tough.

Thanks for all your replies. I will ask for budgeting advice on the MSE website. The biggest problem is, is I have to find a job which is 40 hours or more per week. I should be getting help with rent, but because of my overtime going up so much and down the next, the benefit office wanted my payslips each week to assess how much benefit to give me. It varied so much week by week that I wasn't knowing how much rent I was supposed to be paying and getting all messed up, so I stopped it. No ifs and buts about it, I can't manage on the hours I do at the mo. I've been applying for jobs but none seem to be getting back to me :( Got to stay positive though!

So what about Working Tax Credit? surely you'd fit into the 16+ or 30+ hours per week working? What did you apply for at the benefit office before?

Dont do it!!!!! you will regret it.

I would strongly advise against it. My parents are messy and I'm tidy. I can just about put up with it when we visit, but I couldn't live with it. Either you will be tidying up after them continuously and be exhausted or you wold have to put up with mess (and dirt?)-either way you will resent it. The smoking thing is a big no-no. I hate the fact that my FIL smokes at all. And he always smokes outside, but I worry that DS may get inquisitive as he gets older. Your DC's shouldn't be subjected to all that smoke. And as some sensible person above said, you might find it difficult to get council tenancy again.

Why do you need to work over 40 hours a week?

I had a feeling tax credits only kicked in if you worked between 16 - 30 hours a week. Please look at MSE or speak to your job centre / Citizens advice. It can't be right that you are working crazy hours and left with so little.

As a lone parent you shouldn't "have" to work 40 plus hours....my friend does 36 and gets a good amount of help....over 100 pounds per week including her wage.