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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DH is being unreasonable to DD?

28 replies

Scholtz · 29/06/2011 18:26

DH and I have 2 children between us, my dd(13) and his ds (also 13). DH has a stressful job (nurse) and has been working 13 hour shifts for five days and tomorow is his day off. He is kicking off about the kids being off school saying he was really looking forward to having the house to himself and as a result has asked his DS to arrange something to do. So his DS has arranged to go to the cinema with his friends and hang out in the city centre. DD hasn't arranged anything and wants to spend the day at home. DH is livid and expects me to MAKE her go out somewhere so he can have the house to himself. I think he is being unreasonable to insist on DD going out, it's her day off too and she just wants to relax, not be forced out. His reasoning is that he's made his DS go out and DD should too. I have suggested HE go out for the day but he wants to stay home by himself. I'll be at work.

AIBU to NOT make her go out?

OP posts:

StellaSays · 29/06/2011 18:36

YANBU, it is your DD's house too, tell him to stay in his room if he is so keen on being left alone. Maybe tell your DD to have a quiet day in and not disturb him too much.

squeakytoy · 29/06/2011 18:38

I would tell HIM to fuck off out on his own to a large open space if he doesnt like it...

It is her home just as much as it is his, and if you have kids who live there, then thats life...

TidyDancer · 29/06/2011 18:39

YANBU at all. DH is being a complete twat. If he wants time to himself, he fucks off out, he doesn't kick the children out of their home. What a knob.

Don't make her go out, and tell her to call you at work if he tries to.

crazycat304 · 29/06/2011 18:40

Its her home too so she has the right to stay there. I can understand DH wanting some quite time so can't they promise to both be quite, I'm sure she has homework/studing to do. Am I right in thinking older children listen to their mp3s these days rather than the LOUD stereos like I did?

BootyMum · 29/06/2011 18:41

He is being selfish imo.

Surely they can both be home without getting in each other's way too much?

NewShooz · 29/06/2011 18:42

I think he's the one being unreasonable. I'd probably warn her to stay out of his way as much as possible though if he's going to be that grumpy about her being indoors!

EttiKetti · 29/06/2011 18:44

What an immature arse! I would tell him where to go, very selfish behaviour - however if he is being that petty now before the day, will your DDs life be worth living if she stays in :( Miserable sod! What on earth does he want to do that requires the ENTIRE house to himself?!

fluffles · 29/06/2011 18:46

i can totally understand why he'd want the house to himself but he is totally unreasonable to try to make her go out.

on the other hand, i would point out to DD that this is his first day off all week and he worked the weekend so he should get first dibs on tv and be left 'in peace' as much as possible.

HowlingBitch · 29/06/2011 18:46

What on earth is he planning to do that makes him want everyone out of the house?

HowlingBitch · 29/06/2011 18:47

want Demand*

Greatdomestic · 29/06/2011 18:57

Don't make her go out. It's her home too and his sons. I'd be fuming that he'd told his son to go out too.

Tell him to get a grip and stop being so dramatic. Lot's of people work long shifts. Getting a couple of hours to yourself is great if you can get it. Demanding the house to yourself is selfish. Don't pander to this nonsense.

ChaoticAngelinLimbo · 29/06/2011 19:00

YANBU He is being an unreasonable, selfish, twat.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 29/06/2011 19:06

he is going to watch porn all day and eat richtea biscuits.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 29/06/2011 19:08

My thoughts exactly, Howling.

He's either an unbelievably selfish twunt, or he's up to something maybe with a colleague who works the same shift pattern

Would it be possible to take dd to work with you, OP, and take her home during your lunchbreak? Or can you take a day's leave and either stay home or appear to be going to work with dd and pop back unexpectedly?

In any event, I would suggest that you find some reason to go home during the day when it's dh's day off and the dc are at school.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 29/06/2011 19:09

porn I tell you its porn

G1nger · 29/06/2011 19:10

Wow. He really doesn't want your children to feel at home in their own house, does he?

BootyMum · 29/06/2011 20:31

Izzy

I thought the same thing but didn't want to say it.

OP I'm sorry and hope we're wrong.

Belljar71 · 29/06/2011 20:45

Either porn or someone,oops,,something else...

hellospoon · 29/06/2011 20:45

he is going to watch porn all day and eat richtea biscuits.

PMSL - because rich tea are the biscuit choice of all porn watchers HAHA! that made me chuckle!

OP he is being a total twunt, it is your DD's home as much as it is his. end of.

BooyHoo · 29/06/2011 20:48

erm, so if YOU were off tomorrow would he demand that YOU leave your own house for the day aswell just so he can be alone or does he just bully children? what a twat. how dare he think he has any more right to be there than anyone else in the family.

cory · 29/06/2011 21:01

And is he prepared to return the favour and leave the house to potter around town if your dd comes home tired after exams or whatever?

Or does he think he is the only one who can feel tired and need some space?

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 30/06/2011 12:18

still thinking its porn and richtea biscuits .

tazmin · 30/06/2011 13:43

id be wondering what he wanted to get up to

and pass the rich tea over here wont you

Aworryingtrend · 30/06/2011 13:47

Is it that he wants to sleep if he has been working nights?

Thats understandable IMO. If so, he needs to explain to DD that he will want the house to be quiet so he can sleep, and so she can stay at home if she is quiet but if she wants to see friends/play music loudly etc it might b best to go out.

MissJanuary · 30/06/2011 13:49

He is being VU and a total twat. What kind of parent makes their own kids go out for the day so they can be at home by themselves?

I get that he wants to relax, but if he wants solice, he is the one thats need to go out and find it, not the kids.

Is he like this often?

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