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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

'Oh, she looks just like you!'

18 replies

LibbyLou123 · 29/06/2011 16:25

Out shopping with my friends daughter in the pushchair. No relation to me at all. She has blonde hair, brown eyes and I have brown hair and blue eyes.....we really look nothing alike.
But I think some people must just assume if you are out with a child, then it must be yours.
A lady came up to us and was cooing over the baby and then said 'you look just like your Mummy don't you?!' (referring to me)
Really???? Is this just something people say just to make conversation or what?!

(My 4 year old daughter must have picked up on people saying this a lot as well, because we were looking at photos, and there was one of her as a baby with our dog next to her, and she commented 'ahh, don't we look a like'!!!)

OP posts:

strandedbear · 29/06/2011 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 29/06/2011 16:30

i think when people see a child and adult together, or people they know are siblings or whatever then they kind of actively look for similarities because they "know" they are related. iyswim?

of course, in many cases they are wrong!

i've always been a bit wary of saying anything to people i don't really know that well, cos for all i know they could be adopted or something, even if i know it's their child.

if people find no obvious similarities then you get met with "wow, you're so different" instead

bibbitybobbityhat · 29/06/2011 16:31

Yabu.

giraffesCantZumba · 29/06/2011 16:33

I get told that about the wee girl I look after - we have same eye colour and curly hair.

superv1xen · 29/06/2011 16:33

haha i think people just say it because they think they ought to

DH was once told my DS is "the spit" of him. Unlikely as he is his stepdad, not his bio dad :o

misdee · 29/06/2011 16:35

dh had this when my nephew was little. me and my sister were doing something so dh took nephew in the buggy to a shop. two old ladies stopped him and said 'oh dont u look like your daddy'

dh said

'thanks, i'll let his dad know'

exexpat · 29/06/2011 16:36

A friend often gets told this about him and his dad. He's adopted.

mrsravelstein · 29/06/2011 16:38

people always comment on how much ds1 looks like dh, his stepdad.

tethersend · 29/06/2011 16:42

Maybe you look like a baby?

bibbitybobbityhat · 29/06/2011 17:04

tethers!

DeWe · 29/06/2011 17:39

People used to say I looked like the boy I nannied. I usually just smiled and thanked them as they obviously meant it to be nice.

Mousey84 · 29/06/2011 18:03

Get it all the time with the three unrelated 2 year olds I mind. However, one family of older kids i mind actually do have my colouring and along with my daughter are like little steps, so more likely to all be mine.
Wee man from down the road thinks I have 10 kids. I corrected him a few times, but don't bother any more.

portaloo · 29/06/2011 18:17

I have been told on numerous occasions 'It's a shame your DD looks like your twat of an ex, poor child.'
I always think what an awful thing to say about my DD. Even if she does look like him, which imo she doesn't, she is beautiful to me, and I will never look at her and feel shame.
Some people are very thoughtless!

Honeydragon · 29/06/2011 18:22

The only time I have ever been told I look like my Dad was when I was out with DH

HUGE can of worms that one

People used to regularly comment how much I didn't look like my parents though....but I do look like my Mum a bit now.

Portaloo that's just mean

GentleOtter · 29/06/2011 18:22

I received a lovely one today.

"What a beautiful little boy"...

Dh and I all chuffed.

"Are you sure he is yours?"......

amsterdamster · 29/06/2011 23:49

I think people just say it to be nice, but personally I steer clear of this subject because it can open a can of worms... the person could be adopted or resemble a parent who was absent/passed away etc. That's really insensitive of the person who said that to you portaloo.
When I was a kid people always commented how much I looked like my dad and nothing like my mum - this was quite perplexing for me since she was a single mum and I had very little contact with the other side of the family. Even people who hadn't seen my dad and only mum would say how unlike her I was which was upsetting to me - this might seem a little precious on my part but trust me, this can be a sensitive subject.
Having said all that, when dropping mine at school I've often had people assume that a friend of theirs I've brought to school with them is also mine, even if that child is clearly of a different racial background, size, age too close to mine or whatever. So yeah, often just small talk, but something I would avoid.

SE13Mummy · 30/06/2011 01:07

My cousin was looking after my then 12-week-old DD2 and a man congratulated her on her baby then, as she opened her mouth to explain that she wasn't hers, he followed it up with, "you both look very alike... I think it's the cheeks, yes, you have the same cheeks". His wife hung her head in shame and explained to him that it would be best if he stopped now and that cheeks aren't something to comment upon especially when they're as chubby as DD2's were. My cousin then told him that DD2 wasn't hers... he looked suitably embarrassed.

CaptainBizarro · 30/06/2011 01:44

Our old au pair used to get this when out with DS (they both have curly hair). She said that she used to get all the time with one of her previous charges, as they both have green eyes. I think people just say it to shoot the breeze.

Mind you, she once had someone ask if she was sure DS was a boy - I think some people just engage mouth before brain when they speak.

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