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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this was rather shocking of my uncle's wife to say to her son?

28 replies

confuddledDOTcom · 29/06/2011 11:35

Not a thread about a thread, just inspired by the other thread as it made me think and I didn't want to hijack.

My uncle remarried two years ago after my aunt died. His new wife - who I don't see as my aunt because I don't know her and I'm too old to use it politely, I don't have a problem with her - has three children, the youngest is a teen and the oldest is a parent herself. Her ex is still around, they still have regular contact with their dad.

We were at a family party recently and my uncle went over to where his wife was sitting and she said to one of her children "move up and let your dad sit down"! I was really shocked and my parents told me it wasn't an accident that's how they - uncle and his wife - refer to him! My uncle was married to someone else when the youngest became a teen so it's not like he's brought him up or this is a small child who doesn't know his dad.

My partner has other children and there's been times he's felt the new partner has said something he shouldn't but I think he'd be gutted if whilst he's still involved and an active part of their life if the new partner was being called dad.

OP posts:
kaluki · 29/06/2011 13:10

Maybe it is 'what happens'.
I still don't like it.
Mum is Mum and Dad is Dad.
They are your parents.
Why have 2 Mums and 2 dads instead of Mum and XX and Dad and YY
Sorry but I just don't get it.
But I do admire you for being so chilled out about it.

InNeedOfCoffee · 29/06/2011 13:23

My mum married my (step) dad when i was five, i call him and my bio farther dad, have for as long as i can remember, but could never call my ex step mother mum. My step siblings lived with us and have never called my mother mum, but have very little contact with their own mum.
I dont call DSF dad in earshot of DF as don't want to hurt his feelings, my two sisters (with same parents) do the same.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 29/06/2011 14:24

I do admire you for being so chilled out about it.

Ah, but it's easy for me to say because I'm not in that position.

Should that ever happen, feel free to throw it back in my face because I'm sure I'd absolutely HATE it. But also please try to remind me of the love thing - because imo nobody can have too much of it.

Slightly different, but when my mother (who was always Grandma) died, ds took to calling my MIL (who had previously been Grandma Betty), Grandma. Now that hurt - which is daft, really.

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