to want to order something just to get the DHL man to come?

[BooyHoo]

he is GORGEOUS!!

i see him about town all the time and i keep thinking i must order something so i can get a closer look and see if he smells as nice as he looks.

*shocked by that - see, even my typing is suffering from the shock!

well the laptop cover has arrived via citylink so chances are improving that laptop will be via DHL.

i am loving the takeaway as a thank you present!! how strange!!

I never saw him but 'friend' said he was v good looking in a beefy kind of way, and the bonk was good. She said they also got on really well (I did point out to her that much was obvious!).

She was a bit shocked at the takeaway though - when he came to the door and held it out for her she assumed it was for two - until he walked off

Lmao ot the SKY man's sweet and sour balls!

i wonder how many takeaways he delivers of an evening?

I used to work for parcelforce. Were not all duffers. at least i don't think we were. you girls are terrible like salivating predators. not tigers or lions... more like panthers. ambush predators... i'm actually a little bit scared... the level of double entendre here would put a carry-on film to shame. i'll never feel bad about quietly letching on women again...

GIRLS young man? GIRLS...?

You cheeky devil, i'd put you over my knee and give you six of the best, you bring that attitude parcelled up to my house!

Ooh saucey!

BigBadWolfie do you deliver takeaways to your conquests, or that just a Sky thing?

try not to think of them as conquests actually. being born the right side of the late 20th century...Never delivered food to any of the ladies i've had the pleasure of bedding but i did once have to deliver a thighmaster to a woman just old enough to be my mother a week after she did awful things to my fragile little mind (and body) in an alleyway behind a bar... she was 36/37 i think and i was only 18... man she warped my mind in so many ways. beautiful... all over, not just the face... these days i tend to make them breakfast and let them sleep in while i rush off to work. binfull try it... you might like it (i know i would)

So in your opinion...did she need the Thighmaster??

IMO? absolutely not! I nearly dropped the damned thing on my foot when I realised who she was. she smiled the most peculiar smile and invited me in. It wasn't just her looks either, she had a way about her that was utterly intoxicating.

perhaps it was because she was older (than me). she carried herself with an air of confidence that left me weak, almost unable to speak. Wow, just thinking about her makes me feel dizzy. Caught a glimpse of her husband in a photo (a wedding photo no less). we actually talked about him and their relationship. figured she probably casts the same spell over any man. she chooses. Did feel a little bad for him but then i didn't know the full context.

Was simply glad to not be hauling yet more of those damned thighmasters around. got at least two of those things every shift. bloody heavy they are too. think they were made to take abuse from morbidly obese americans or summat...

god women are amazing all shapes sizes ethnicities. so many women, such little time... if only... I've always thought the term better half was rather apt. who was it that said women are better at everything except Cuisine and Couture? he/she was probably bang on the money.

don't dhl have a tracking service? or is that getting borderline stalking?

hmm not a thighmaster it was a stepmaster or summat similar. heavy thing with steppy bits on. have no idea why they were so popular (particularly among people that lived on the upper floors of apartment buildings or the top of a block of flats....

Was the package addressed to a Mrs Robinson?

Sadly Wolfie I have got to the stage where, surrounded by a team of mid 20 German males with ice white teeth, surfer tans and highlights I don't fantasise about carnal knowledge, rather "hope my son grows up to be/look like him"

I'm extra curious as to how plumbing in a washing machine/Sky dish can just lead to sex? What are the conversations that lead up to it in the 20 minute slot for installation (fnarr)?

I mean they have to be better than DH's rubbishy porn flicks don't they?

Surely there's no bocca chicca wow music on the radio and a man in dungarees rasping "where would you like me to stick my pipe?" "Can you hold this big tool?" etc while said housewife circles her nipple with a false nail and pouts....so how does it start...?