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Original poster

Should I have sold my husbands bling?

58 replies

Bogeyface · 29/06/2011 10:54

THIS IS NOT ME BTW!!!! I just read this on the Martin Lewis Moneysaver email/website and wondered what your opinions where.

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I have flogged my husband's bling?

I was clearing out the loft and found a chunky gold necklace of my husband's, which, to be honest, I always thought was hideous. It had been up there 10 years and he'd totally forgotten about it, but I was worried he'd start wearing it again if he saw it. So I flogged it to (MSE's top) gold buying site for £200 and put the money in our joint account - handy as we're a bit strapped for cash at the moment. But now I feel a tad guilty; was I wrong to melt his bling without telling him?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/06/2011 11:54

@TheBigJessie... Everyone's being very PC and holy today, obviously. IRL I know several people who have done exactly that. The friend whose b/f cam back from a motorbike rally with some terrible sexist t-shirt said he was quite upset when 'it got damaged in the tumble dryer'.... And she kept a straight face, bless her.

melikalikimaka · 29/06/2011 11:58

The old saying 'what's yours is mine and what's mine my own!'

Plead innocence if he ever mentions it. Hope she got the best price for that chunky chain, always get three quotes.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 29/06/2011 12:01

"PC" doesn't actually mean "pretending to be a good person so as to fit in", you know. In fact it doesn't apply at all.

I'm with Mayorquimby on this one, though - who knows, that chunky gold necklace could have been sentimental, a gift from someone, and probably irreplacable. The fact that he didn't wear it is as irrelevant as whether someone read a first edition regularly.

You ask someone before you sell their stuff. Obviously.

Unless they are two and the stuff in question lights up and emits the sound of a car alarm at frequent intervals

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 29/06/2011 12:07

my husband went on and on about some boxes i was not to throw or sort out as they were full of important things....he went on exercise and I opened one box....it contained a toilet seat and some paperclips. Hmm the others weren't much better. We had moved house 4 times and these boxes had just gone round and round with every removal.

I binned the lot! He didn't notice again and never asked! The difference for me would be him thinking he had lost the necklace, and lamenting on about it, then me finding and selling it without telling him would be underhand. But i bet he had totally forgotten about it, and what the hell, it was a chunky necklace probably from the 80's in a Del Boy stylee, not his Grandfather's pocket watch!

The main difference is I know exactly what all my possessions are, where they are and which boxes they are in. Pretty sad, but we have moved house a lot, so I sort my stuff a lot. DH doesn't have a clue. But he knows which of my possessions are dear to me and which aren't.

Still if I had found the necklace i would never have missed the oppotunity to rip the piss out of dh for owning something so hideous!

mayorquimby · 29/06/2011 12:07

I love the way suddenly PC has become a catch all for "anything I don't agree with."
Please explain to me how saying that you shouldn't purposely destroy your partners possessions because you don't like them is in anyway Political Correctness.
Fair enough if you don't agree with it or think we're all being too sentimental and precious, but to claim that this is somehow a political correctness issue is just a bizarre statement.
It's akin to me using the phrase to describe the weather. "It's sunny out there. Political correctness gone mad again."

TheBigJessie · 29/06/2011 12:12

CogitoErgoSometimes

Ah, well, I can raise the bar of perfect-life-of-uncompromising-virtue even further.

Why do your friends choose to have relationships with these men if they hate their clothes so much?

Actually, I suppose that means I'm a shallow person who judges books by their covers, and potential partners by their tasteless individual style. Bugger.

fatlazymummy · 29/06/2011 12:12

I agree with mayorquimby. Not stealing someone else's possessions doesn't equal being PC and holy. It just means being a reasonably decent human being.

JeremyVile · 29/06/2011 12:12

Shitty thing to do, course it is.

ShirleyKnot · 29/06/2011 12:17

I chucked away a pair of thunderbirds pants that belonged to my XH. He went mental, but I was just all "they had holes in them!"

I wish I'd never done it.

Quenelle · 29/06/2011 12:20

I agree with mayorquimby

PC, holy and decent do not all mean the same thing.

melikalikimaka · 29/06/2011 12:21

FYI 9ct gold is 10.76 a gram, around the midlands, so why not?

Get rid of your horrid ingots etc. buy something useful. (like food!)

melikalikimaka · 29/06/2011 12:29

I take it, you have all gone into your lofts and are searching for gold now!Smile

mayorquimby · 29/06/2011 12:30

pfft can't move for gold round the downstairs bathroom, last thing i need is to find more in the loft

CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/06/2011 12:35

"Please explain to me how saying that you shouldn't purposely destroy your partners possessions because you don't like them is in anyway Political Correctness."

PC means to deliberately avoid causing offence. It's not just this topic. I suspect, you see, that, a lot of the public moralising & judging exercised on MN is not entirely matched by private actions. And that many will opt to go along with the herd opinion to avoid causing offence to the MN collective ... than to admit that they might have done anything remotely similar themselves and risk the judgement being turned back at them. :)

aldiwhore · 29/06/2011 12:36

If DH sold something of mine he thought I'd forgotten about I'd be mightly pissed off, so yep, she was wrong.

I have loads of things I haven't looked at or worn in over 10 years, but if I didn't want them I'd have chucked them. I'd never dream of selling my husband's stuff, it may be trash with value to me, but its valuable to him.

I do have clear outs, I'll find stuff of husbands and I'll suggest we could sell it, often he sells it once I've found it, but I just wouldn't do it without his approval because its pretty disrespectful.

One person's trash is another's treasure, and I'd find it hard to forgive anyone if they found my suitcase of crap and decided to sell or bin it. I'd have to question who the fuck they thought they were to take that decision.

Nevermindthebotox · 29/06/2011 12:55

I've definitely had the odd 'tumble dryer accident' with some of dh's more hideous t-shirts. What surprises me about all of the outrage about selling other people's treasured posessions is not knowing what your oh treasures. The first editions scenario was not really a good comparison, because surely you would know that they were precious? I know which of my dh's jewellery was left to him by his grandparents etc. And which is just awful tat that he bought before he had any taste. I'm off to cashmygold.

Nevermindthebotox · 29/06/2011 12:55

I've definitely had the odd 'tumble dryer accident' with some of dh's more hideous t-shirts. What surprises me about all of the outrage about selling other people's treasured posessions is not knowing what your oh treasures. The first editions scenario was not really a good comparison, because surely you would know that they were precious? I know which of my dh's jewellery was left to him by his grandparents etc. And which is just awful tat that he bought before he had any taste. I'm off to cashmygold.

Nevermindthebotox · 29/06/2011 12:56

Damn you blackberry.

Nevermindthebotox · 29/06/2011 12:56

Damn you blackberry.

melikalikimaka · 29/06/2011 12:58

Would recommend you go to three jewellers local, get the best price and see what Cashmygold quote you. (seriously!) Wink

mayorquimby · 29/06/2011 13:01

"What surprises me about all of the outrage about selling other people's treasured posessions is not knowing what your oh treasures. The first editions scenario was not really a good comparison, because surely you would know that they were precious?"

Surely this is negated by the deliberate ommission to ask your OH. If you know so well what is treasured and what can be gotten rid of then surely there's no problem in running it by them first. The only reason that the people who are slyly getting rid of these things is because they know/fear that if they ask their OH first they will elect to hang on to it.
It also suprises me that you are shocked by people not knowing what their OH values and not when you know for a fact that your OH likes some t-shirts and are then deliberately destroying them.

JeremyVile · 29/06/2011 13:05

Corgi to - but your 'herd mentality' schtick doesn't really make sense. In fact your initial post struck me as funny as it sooooo did not reflect the thread -almost as if you'd read the op, assumed there'd be moral outrage and typed up a reply to reflect that....cos it certainly didn't reflect the actual posts that preceded yours.
It looked evenly split, and even then most of those saying it was wrong we're certainly not outraged by it.

JeremyVile · 29/06/2011 13:05

*corgito, bloody iPad.

melikalikimaka · 29/06/2011 13:24

Thinking of selling DH wedding ring as he never wears it.Wink

TrilllianAstra · 29/06/2011 13:26

If you know so well what is treasured and what can be gotten rid of then surely there's no problem in running it by them first. The only reason that the people who are slyly getting rid of these things is because they know/fear that if they ask their OH first they will elect to hang on to it.

Exactamundo

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