AIBU to have added it up?

[charliejosh]

Ds's dad is supposed to give me £45 per week as decided by a mediator.

Most weeks he posts £40 through my door and I dont say anything about the missing £5, but it is happening so often that I have started adding it up and now he 'owes' me £50 on top of this weeks £45.

AIBU or petty to have added up those £5'ers - he thinks i am

Er no, £40 is not the same as £45 and all those £5s do add up.

Clearly he is aware of that otherwise he wouldn't have kept them/be making a fuss about it now!

I would have added it up too. But would probably have mentioned it before now.

if it's "petty" money it doesn't matter to him so he should have no problem handing it over

I'd have charged him interest, the cheeky twunt.

*On top of the £5, obviously.

£5 a week can be a lot of money when paying for a child! Don't know age of DS whether still in nappies etc, but thats a pack of nappies, or a few packs of wipes, a few days school dinners, an hours childcare, a few pairs of socks - times that by what appears to be 10 weeks and thats quite a lot of stuff! Tell him to pay up or go back to the mediator.
YANBU!

if he agreed to pay £45 per week WHY is he only paying £40? Hardly a mistake anyone can make, he's extracting the urine and you are letting him.

Look at it this way. That £5 is a decent percentage(over 10%) of the expected £45. Or you are missing out on £260 per year.

Contact the CSA (or at least threaten him with that!). They will make sure it's done properly.

YANBU that extra fiver can make a difference I'd pull him up on it if I was you OP

Tell him it's his son whom he's cheating out of that money.

YANBU if agreed money isn't paid, go back to mediator. If he thinks its nothing he won't mind paying.x

I assume this is in cash, as well, so there is no record of the amount. He is being canny with you, but you can play that game too, if you want to. With cash, there's no record that he's paid you at all, so let him come up with £45 x weeks, not just £5 x weeks!

He should pay by cheque or standing order, "for both your protection". This may sound pettily passive-aggressive, but it is a nice solution, as it can easily be escalated to a threat (to do him for all the money, as he has no receipt) or de-escalated if he backs down to save face.

YANBU! I agree with plupervert though, cash isn't traceable so you really should insist on being paid in another way.

yep, i agree with plupervert too - you should make him pay by cheque or standing order.
£5 a week is a lot of money

I can't believe he is even trying to convince you you're being petty!

Thanks all, he nearly had me believing I am a skin-flint. I dont necessarily need that £5 a week but its the principle!

If he tells you that £5 a week is a small amount and not worth fussing over, ask him why he isn't paying it to you? Cuts both ways, that one!

But yes, tell him you need it on a standing order. Otherwise he has no proof that he has paid you anything at all and who knows what you might say ...