To be livid at my mother for bringing over a chocolate cake when she knows I've just started a diet?

[MeantToStopAtTwo]

I am now on day 3 of a diet, having had a big clear-out of anything naughty and tempting from the kitchen.

Once I start a diet, I need to get properly into it and follow it 100% for a while before I can allow myself to bend the rules a little. Otherwise I just end up going on a binge and letting the whole thing go. (If that makes any sense?).

She knows this full well and yet somehow she felt it OK to show up this afternoon with a ginormous chocolate cake. I could have killed her! As if this wasn't already hard enough.

YABVVVVU. Chocolate cake should ALWAYS be welcome. Besides, you should drop the diet and just change the way you eat and exercise. Will do you better in the long run.

YANBU - I would either send it to work with DH, or freeze it - and then take out when entertaining etc. To tempting to have chocolate cake around at start of diet.

I would have to have a bit if I knew it was there, I'm the same.. I need to do the diet 100% or it won't work. If I knew there was something like that in the house I'd eat loads of it.

I am the same. If it's in the house then I can't help but eat it as I have limited self control when it comes to anything chocolate. That's why I am doing WW though, because then you can allow yourself a small slice and include it in your daily points without the guilt. Maybe you should try something like that? It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

YANBU at all
especially as its jst the start of your diet
if you are sabotaged at this stage it can take forever to get in the state of mind again plus u will have a lot of guilt over it
send it to ur neighbour or chuck it in the bin
above all stay strong -Gud luck with your diet

So am I right in thinking that most people on a diet, ban their whole family from having cake, biscuits or any other kind of occassional treat just because they have no willpower?

That's hardly fair is it?

worral I don't think anyone's said that!

BTY what I do is get in things which won't tempt me so much but that everyone else in my family loves, so pastries and party rings etc (yuck), they are happy, I am happy. Why torture myself by getting in chocolate cake?!

Say thank you, cut a slice for the rest of the household and squirt fairy liquid over the rest. Do it front of her, do it with a smile, don't lose control or hand control over to anyone else, its for you to be your own boss.

I know how hard it is though, I've lost 21lbs over the last few months, and its taken me a while to truly believe I don't have to eat crap just because its in my cupboards, neither do I have to ban any treat foods from entering the home. I am guilty of occassionally wasting food by squirting fairy liquid on it though and its not something I'm particularly proud of (though anything unsquirted goes on the compost heap) but I'd rather bin it than allow anyone to take control from me over what goes in my mouth.

I'd be miffed at her lack of support, but not livid. Its you that needs to change, not everyone else. Thats why its hard. Good luck.

Was it homemade chocolate cake? Yum! I (used to) make German chocolate cake with the chewy coconut frosting. Also chocolate cake, good on its own or with white frosting, sometimes red hots on top. My mom often made chocolate cake but sometimes made brown sugar (caramel) frosting for it. There was also a macaroon chocolate cake I madelike a bundt caketook about six bowls to make. One had beaten egg whites I folded in. My husband and I love black walnuts in chocolate cakeour sons won't touch it. You may not have black walnutsthey are a midwest U.S. item. Can't close without mentioning fudge bar--a brownie layer topped w marshmallows then topped with fudge frosting. Is this enough cake porn for you all?

HansieMom Stop talking about cake!

Dieting doesn't work. Which is how one gets so good at starting them.
Eat more fruit and veg and exercise more.
Fiddling about punishing yourself won't work.

Oh yaaaaaaaawnnn at the oft-touted nonsense that "dieting doesn't work". Of course it does! It's not sticking to the diet that is the problem. (Unless one is doing silly virtually-no-calories-at-all dieting, that is). It always irritates me when people say all you need to do is to have a healthy diet. That's rubbish; a healthy diet does not equate to lowering your calorie intake - and losing weight is ONLY about calorie intake vs. expenditure. You could have a really healthy day's diet of salmon, avocado, nuts, brown rice, fruit & veg etc. but that wouldn't make you lose weight at all.

Sorry, this is a real soapbox of mine :)

Here here PasstheTwiglets!

Twiglets, theoretically that may be true, but empirically speaking 80-95% of dieters will regain all of the weight, or more.
Most people cannot stick to a diet. Therefore dieting doesn't work in the actual world.
For a permanent change to be made the new diet has to be sustainable in the long-term. Or as soon as the 'diet' stops, you fall back into old eating patterns. Who wants to never eat chocolate cake again?

The healthy diet you outline might not be lower in calories than another diet per se, but it will maintain energy levels throughout the day, helping to ward off blood sugar crashes that often require a big carb/calorie fix and is full of vitamins and minerals, helping to stop cravings that can make you eat more calories than necessary in a bid to get adequate nutrients.

Of course dieting works - but it isn't sustainable in the long run, and cutting out food groups and that sort of thing isn't healthy if you do it for a long time. Which means you have to stop the diet and then the weight often goes back on even more as your body is in starvation mode and thinks YIPPEEEEEEE FOOD!!! I guess diets are good for a kick start if you want to, but it's the long term eating and exercise habits that make the difference - I really like the change4life thing, where you make little swaps each week and gradually get healthier. If you aren't bothered about losing a lot of weight quickly, it's great IME.

Anyway that's not the point of this thread, the point is OP, do you think your mum was just being a bit dim and was misguidedly trying to cheer you up, or do you think she is sabotaging your efforts?

Op try looking at food focus means you can eat foods but logging what you eat makes you stop and think and identify when your eating wrong foods.I used to pick while cooking kids dinner then eat my dinner .Now i eat mine while cooking theirs

fuzzpig, a sensible diet doesn't cut out food groups though, even fats.

Well no, of course sensible ones don't, but a hell of a lot do, and crash diets are really pushed in the media. Not saying that's what OP is doing, was just rambling really!

Cake is an important food group.

Any diet that focusses on reducing the amount of calories consumed is likely to result in weight regain, whichever gimmick or trick they use.

Am I the only one who REALLY wants some cake now?

Nope.

I think diets DO work and ARE sustainable as long as you learn about healthy eating while you are doing them. Those one's which are just weird drinks don't, as they don't teach you anything about moderation etc.

Meerkat, the vast majority will put the weight back on. Yes, if you learn about healthy eating it ought to work out long-term, but counting calories is not healthy, going hungry and denying yourself is not healthy.

Much better to just do healthy eating and loads of exercise from the start and be happy that you're being kind to yourself and it will take longer to drop the weight, but last longer in the end.