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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my younger sister is an inconsiderate little bitch

31 replies

M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 20:21

And its mum who's made her like it!!!

Posted other day about sis and bf and working/child care issues.

Well today she hasn't had any child care so went banging on mums door (lives across road) to wake her up from working nights at 2pm telling her 'she IS looking after DN as she hasn't got cover' mum and stepdad looked after him. Mum asked her what she was planning on doing with DN next week when stepdad on afters (2-10shift) and sister said 'well your doing it mum'

I have just spoken to mum and said 'so what happens when you don't get to sleep till 9am cos your not that tired?' And she said 'well I'll have to manage won't I?'

I said and so if that was me saying to you your looking after my son because I don't agree with nurseries and I don't have anymore childcare, you would say no won't you? And she said 'well that's different your older!'

Seriously WTF?? My sister is an inconsiderate little bitch who doesn't give a rats arse about anyone else.

Arghhhhhh I could scream!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 20:23

Sorry should have said mum works nights 9pm-6.30am. But from august she'll be doing 8pm-7am.

OP posts:
Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 20:23

Sorry should have said mum works nights 9pm-6.30am. But from august she'll be doing 8pm-7am.

OP posts:
Rockerchic · 27/06/2011 20:25

Well as your mom let's her get away with it there's nothing that you can do.

Kvetch · 27/06/2011 20:26

Yep. I can't see anything to disagree with there.

But, your mum's a bloody fool for letting the inconsiderate little bitch walk all over her. If mum won't stand up for herself I'm damned if I can see what you can do, save perhaps telling your sister exactly what she is. It won't help but it'll sure as feck make you feel better.

Yukana · 27/06/2011 20:26

I think I'll have to say YANBU. Your mother isn't helping by doing everything your sister says on this matter. As for your younger sister, she's being highly inconsiderate and shouldn't think your mother will automatically be the childcare!

BitOfFun · 27/06/2011 20:26

It hasn't got much to do with you though, has it? If your mum wanted to say no, I suppose she would.

TheProvincialLady · 27/06/2011 20:29

Well your mum was no doubt the cause of it, and now she is reaping the benefit. If she has to be treated like a slave and not even allowed to sleep, that's her look out isn't it? Nothing to do with you.

Imnotaslimjim · 27/06/2011 20:29

They sound like my sister and mum. My mum has had my DS overnight once and he's 5. She's never had DD. Apparently she's "busy"

She was my neice and nephew practically every weekend, even changes plans for her, it drives me mad

YANBU to be a litle annoyed about it, but there isn't much you can do but accept it if mum allows it

Cymar · 27/06/2011 20:32

Sounds like your mum is a complete walkover and your sister has a major sense of entitlement.

Would your sister be likely to stop contact if your mum didn't mind her DC?

MsTeak · 27/06/2011 20:32

more fool her. She should have slammed the door in her face, I would. If you lay down on the floor, people are going to walk all over you.

Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 20:33

My mum won't say no because sis will threaten her with not seeing DN. I once asked mum (when she wasn't working) if she would be my child care for my DS1 cos MIL was moving to scotland I was working 3 days a week and couldn't afford childcare cos of debts :(. But mum said no to her looking after DS because 'he was too young!' He was 6mths old ffs!!

You could say I'm jealous but then I'm the one who mum moans at when sis goes off on one, or mums on phone crying me cos she's tired on nights and hates her job but needs the money. Looking after a 17mth old on top of that is going to make her feel worse! I'm just looking out for mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 20:35

Should jave added that when mum said no to me I had to leave my job.

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Omigawd · 27/06/2011 20:51

I eagerly await stepdad telling your mum that enough's enough......

TooImmature2BMum · 27/06/2011 20:55

I would actually be just as pissed off with your mum as with your sister. She won't look after your kids because 'you're older'? Why does she think that's fair? She ought to treat you both the same!

Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 20:57

Stepdad is already at end of paitence but if he says owt out of line sister tells him its fuck all to do with him he isn't her dad. So SD keep shut to keep the peace! He doesn't get involved, mum has told him in the passed too that's its nowt to do with him :(.

OP posts:
Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 20:57

Stepdad is already at end of paitence but if he says owt out of line sister tells him its fuck all to do with him he isn't her dad. So SD keep shut to keep the peace! He doesn't get involved, mum has told him in the passed too that's its nowt to do with him :(.

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TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 27/06/2011 21:01

There comes a point when you have to say to someone, look, carry on how you want to, but I am tired of hearing about it. If you are not willing to do anything, then fine, but stop trying to talk to me about it. Either take action, or stop moaning about it.

I know that sounds cruel, but sometimes you have to, because people get trapped in the wallowing, and sometimes they need a boot up out of it.

Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 21:12

I just want my mum to realise she is walking all over her but she can't see it grrrrrr

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fedupofnamechanging · 27/06/2011 21:20

I have very little sympathy for your mum. I think it's appalling when a parent treats one of their children better than the other and I feel sad for you that you had to give up your job because your mum wouldn't help you, but you now have to stand by and watch her bending over backwards to accommodate your sister.

In your position I would tell my mum that I don't want to hear her moan about it as she has put herself in this position. I wouldn't hold back in reminding her that she didn't help you when you needed it, so you have no interest in helping her deal with this now.

I would stay out of it and let them sort it themselves. Sounds like your step dad will be kicking off about this soon enough.

I know my attitude come across as very 'Old Testament', but I can't abide favouritism.

AuntiePickleBottom · 27/06/2011 21:21

could it be that your mum regrets not having your child, forcing you into leaving your job, and seeing you struggle......that she will have your niece.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 27/06/2011 21:23

It's not that she can't, it's that she WON'T.

You can do even less about won't than can't.

Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 21:27

Well I txt sister earlier asking who was having nephew next week when SDad on afters and she sent back 'mum' so I sent back 'tbh I don't think your being fair at all, mum works nights and sometimes finds it hard to sleep anyway and for you to wake her up half way through her sleep then your being selfish'

She sent back ' shall I just quit my job then to make you happy?'

Arghhhh now she's throwing the guilt in. I acnt win.

Think I might ring her 3am to get HER up!

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 27/06/2011 21:29

text back and say, take parental leave or unpaid leave

Original poster
M0naLisa · 27/06/2011 21:34

I justy got back from her why don't you get a job and stop bugging me so I sent back

Well I would but I don't have an onsite babysitter to drop on do I???

OP posts:
fit2drop · 27/06/2011 21:43

She sent back ' shall I just quit my job then to make you happy?'

txt back , Its not about keeping me happy, its about making sure mum stays well.

She needs a reality check.She gets her full nights sleep but expects mum to look after a baby . Selfish madam!

What would your sis do if your mum was incapacitated, ?

You need to take your disappointment at Mum not having your child out the equation and speak to mum and stepdad about a solidarity plan . If no one can have the child then sis needs to find alternative childcare, alternative job with a creche or not work. I know not working sounds harsh but ultimately her working should not depend on whether grandma can babysit or not. Your mum needs a reality check too. She is not doing your sister any favours by taking responsibility off her and making it easy .
Mum is obviously older, she deserves some "me time"
Has sister got a partner? if not could the babys father take some responsibility in this?