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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think this guy was completely off his rocker or just a nasty piece of work?

156 replies

blushingm · 27/06/2011 18:35

I left ds (9yo) in the back of the car while i nipped into the guide hall to collect dd from rainbows. he was reading and is quite sensible. I left the engine running as it was warm and the air con was on.

while i was in the guide hall an old guy walking his dog approached my car and started swearing and threatening ds. He then went around the otherside of the car, removed my keys and threw them over the wall into the adjoining grave yard.

i was gone less than 5 minutes. there was a guy parked behind my car who saw it all - he retrieved my keys and tried to chase after the older guy but he'd gone. ds was very very upset

i'm Angry and Shock that someone would think it's ok to behave that way - the guide hut is in a very very small, usually friendly town - people dont usually lock thier cars and houses unless they are going away

the more i think about it the more cross i am getting

OP posts:
Sidge · 27/06/2011 22:06

Ah gotcha.

I learn something new every day on MN!

Morloth · 27/06/2011 22:22

Old guy is totally in the wrong here. Next time however, lock the doors.

BitOfFun · 27/06/2011 22:38

Sex offenders? Do me a favour Grin

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 27/06/2011 22:50

The man's behaviour was atrocious. But I agree that it was a very bad idea to leave your child in the car with the engine running.

If you are going to be gone less than 5 minutes, then he will be fine without the airconditioning. He might have been a bit uncomfortable, but you could have left the windows open a bit (not enough for passing nutters to reach in through), and the doors locked. He won't melt or die in under 5 minutes.

PigletJohn · 27/06/2011 22:51

How do the village Citizens Police make sure that only Nice People live in, or visit, the area then?

PigletJohn · 27/06/2011 22:52

x-post - I meant that for BitOfFun

AnnieLobeseder · 27/06/2011 22:56

I wouldn't ever leave my car with the engine running, though I'm happy enough to leave my DDs in the car in a safe place.

But that man was seriously unhinged, and so is anyone who is even remotely condoning his behaviour. If he was so worried about your DS, he should have stayed quietly by the car to keep an eye on him, and then expressed his concern in a civilised manner when you got back.

BitOfFun · 27/06/2011 23:16

I'm not saying that sex offenders don't ever live in nice places, PigletJohn, just that most people don't consider it a normal precaution to never let a nine year old out of your sight. I have yet to hear of a child that age being abducted in a carpark full of parents picking up their kids from Brownies.

PigletJohn · 27/06/2011 23:25

no, it's much more likely that some chancer would spot a car, left with the engine running, jump in, and zoom off with it.

Not at all unusual. How to dispose of the unwanted child occupant would be a secondary concern.

p.s. I keep my back door locked, though I have only ever had one person try to kick it open.

worraliberty · 27/06/2011 23:30

he called ds a fucking bastard child and that all fucking children should have been drowned! - the other parent told me what he'd said. He was sitting in his car and saw the whole thing

Seriously? Hmm

I take it you've double checked your child did nothing to provoke this reaction?

Not that it would make it right...but still are you sure?

Ripeberry · 27/06/2011 23:33

Don't be so lazy next time.

galletti · 27/06/2011 23:34

I personally wouldn't leave my dc in the car with the engine running, in fact only last week while I popped into the corner shop on way back from school, dd (11) asked me to so she could listen to the radio, and I just couldn't.

Do feel the guy overreacted though - if he had a problem with you leaving ds like that, go into brownie hall and give you the keys, perhaps?

BitOfFun · 27/06/2011 23:34

That's not quite the same as a sex offender though, is it? And as somebody pointed out upthread, a conscious older child in the back would be a massive disincentive to a car thief in a public space full of witnesses, given that the penalties for abduction are much higher than for vehicle theft.

Shrieking about 'peedos' is still ridiculous.

worraliberty · 27/06/2011 23:37

And now I've had time to think about it OP....

This man was actually threatening a 9yr old child, shouting that he's a fucking bastard child and that all fucking children should have been drowned, he stole your car keys from your car and threw them over a wall.

And you didn't call 999 and tell them there was a very disturbed man on the loose and a possible danger to children? Confused

This thread makes no sense at all.

nadia77 · 27/06/2011 23:37

regardless of all issues leaveing a child in the car by themselves is wrong!!!!!!

PigletJohn · 27/06/2011 23:41

I don't know. Someone pushed my old mum aside and drove off in her car while she was putting the dog in. Do I believe they would have been more thoughtful with a young child?

AFAIK there are more car thieves about than sex offenders, but you must have heard about the cars getting nicked last winter, when people would start it up to demist the windscreen, then when they were outside scraping the back window, someone would jump in and drive off?

razzlebathbone · 27/06/2011 23:48

YABU to leave your child in an unlocked car, with engine running when there's a man on the loose wanting to kill all bastard children in the town.

BitOfFun · 27/06/2011 23:54
Grin

Well, we know that now, razzle, but it came as a surprise to the OP.

PigletJohn, I take your point (how awful for your mum, btw Sad). But peedos on the rampage? Nah.

Morloth · 28/06/2011 01:35

Do the people saying you shouldn't leave a child in a car actually know any 9 year olds? A 9 yo is not a toddler.

The real problem here is that the car was unlocked with the keys in the ignition, locked car, no problem.

PrincessFiorimonde · 28/06/2011 01:48

A random man walked round your car (while swearing at and threatening your son), opened your car door, removed your car keys and chucked them over a wall? And your "sensible" son said and did nothing while all this was going on??

differentnameforthis · 28/06/2011 06:38

My friend left her 'sensible' daughter in the car on her driveway lots of times. To pop in the house to get something, or let the child get in earlier as she always took forever to get in, get comfy, get her seatbelt on etc. Depending on the weather, she would have the car running to coll it down, heat it up.

One day the 'sensible' girl decided she would like to drive a car. She undid her belt, climbed into the drivers seat & let the handbrake off & went backwards down their drive, across a (thankfully) not bust road & came to stop by crashing into her neighbours steal fence. All the time, unrestrained. And in just a few seconds, on this occasion.

Don't ever under estimate the enquiring mind of a child. Child never left in car, unattended since.

differentnameforthis · 28/06/2011 06:40

Oh & the other drivers of the other cars did nothing while this was happening, so what makes you think that your child was safe? They did nothing today, tomorrow they will do the same...even of that means someone running off with your car/son.

Child in car fine. Child in running car, not so much.

Original poster
blushingm · 28/06/2011 09:33

worral - seriously! guy behind told me ds did absolutely nothing to provoke (he told me what the man had said to ds - ds wouldn't repeat the words as he is very against swearing, he even tells his nanny off when she says 'bugger' if she burns herself or something - ds was just sitting reading in his seat with his seat belt on. He checked ds was ok before running up the hill after the older guy. I think he was so shocked and shaken that someone would speak to him like that Shock

piglet - your poor mum Shock - that must have shaken her a bit!

OP posts:
wrongdecade · 28/06/2011 09:40

Like I said before if he had any concern for the chilkds welfare he would have waited for you to return to have a word.

worraliberty · 28/06/2011 09:53

But why didn't you see fit to dial 999?

This is what I don't understand? You said something about a tiny village police station being closed and no CCTV.

But you weren't worried enough to ring the police straight away and tell them there's a very disturbed man in the village, who threatens and swears at strange children, opened your car, stole your keys and threw them away...and you have a key witness to all this who actually chased him over the hill?

Really it doesn't make sense.