to expect mums at toddler groups to discipline their children when they hit others

[bozemum]

Am furious. My DS (20 months) was laid into by older boy (2.5) at playgroup this morning. DS is very gentle and happy boy. And this older boy often hits him. DS was just running around trying to keep up with older boys and fell over. The big boy came over and started hitting him while he was on the floor. I went over and said no hitting and took DS away for a cuddle. His mum was (as usual) looking the other way. So many mums seem to have a "boys will be boys" attitude and think its just part of growing up. But i think they should be told off and told its wrong? Shouldn't they?

I do feel for parents with kids that are more boisterous - the judgy eyes are upon you!
However, as the parent of a child who always seemed to be on the receiving end, I just decided not to go to playgroups anymore. But some parents are good at being on top of their kids behaviour and some are not.
Personally, I will (gently) reprimand a child who is behaving badly - I intercepted a child molesting a cake at an agricultural show recently - and was just about to tell him it was naughty and it turned out (bless him) he'd made the cake with his Mum and was just v excited to see it! (Put judgy pants back in cupboard)

I don't think you are U, per se, but perhaps a little OTT

When ds was a new walker (about 14 months), he was knocked over flat by an eight or nine year old at Soft Play and she didn't so much as look at him. She got my evil eye and a stern talking to. But a boisterous, egocentric 2.5 year old being.. a boisterous, egocentric 2.5 year old? I would take ds out of the way sharpish and say something like: "He doesn't like that" and move off and think not a lot more of it.

I don't see what the point in getting all judgy pantish about it is. I tend to stick with ds in groups but hey, he's my first and my life is stable and routine and he sleeps so I have the energy and good humour to do it. I don't think the fact that parents relax a bit at a group and aren't in a state of constant hypervigilance is really a poor reflection on them. I'm not a tea drinker myself but I understand the need for a bit of an adult chat and you might miss something you shouldn't. But such is life. I think it's small stuff, really.