First I'd best mention I am currently an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital, although voluntary and totally allowed to refuse drugs etc if i want to. But that is why im typing from a phone, and also i dont want to be accused of drip feeding info.
Right. I have bipolar. There are three drugs that could be added into my cocktail. One is lithium, which has been counted out by the fact i forget meds too often. The other is quetiapine, which i had a bad reaction to, but the consultant likes. He does think that valporate would be better, but wont prescribe it due to me being of childbearing age.
Bear in mind that, although I am currently voluntary, by refusing quetiapine, which makes me panic yet have no control over my limbs, and which is proven to be massively bad healthwise, I put myself at risk of being sectioned, despite all the staff on the ward agreeing that i am fully aware of what i am doing, just currently on the way down from a mania.
Right. So, the dr wont prescribe volporate as it carries a 0.1% risk of deformaties in a hypothetical fetus. I had a traumatic crash section with dd1, including a 'T' shaped incision that has left me with constant niggling pain. I also had severe SPD with dd2 which left me with a limp for 18 months. I also have said MH problems and a very low income, am already on a drug cocktail that is a really bad idea for a pregnancy, and DH has had a vasectomy. I have never had unprotected sex with anyone but DH and my ex fiance.
Dr says, because i have been sexually impulsive in the past (ie years ago me and dh had a few adventures with threesomes etc, but obv with protection etc- im not an idiot) i might suddenly run off and get pregnant.
I cant seem to get him to understand that, given all the above reasons, if i suddenly got randomly pregnant, i would have an abortion, whether or not i had the valporate to consider. And in fact controlling my condition with drugs would make it even less likely i would be sexually impulsive in the first place.
His response? 'An abortion is a big decision'. As I am still fertile, I have to go on the drug that will massively reduce my quality of life (which he accepts). I fully accept I need medication, but surely I am allowed to consent to a hypothetical abortion that i was hypothetically going to have anyway?