AIBU - DD2 will be only Reception Year child at the school

[evolucy7]

My 2 DDs (5 year old in Reception, 4 year old in Nursery class) are at a small independent school, I have been very happy with this for the 5 year old but I am now concerned about the 4 year old entering Reception in September. I have just found out that she is going to be the only Reception year child, I knew there wouldn't be many and had already spoken to the school about this.

They have mixed classes, this year Reception has been with Yr1, but in September they have said that they are reverting back to Nursery and Reception together. It depends on how many children they have in each year which classes they mix.

I have major concerns about this.

My 4 year old already works at Reception level, and the school have acknowledged this, they said that she was more than capable of working in a mixed Yr1/Yr2 class in September which is what I wanted really rather than being in a class where 80% or so were Nursery children and the other 20% Reception. I feel that the dynamics of a class like that are wrong, particularly if a child is capable of working at a higher than expected level. And also from the point of view of maturity, some of the just turned 3 year olds that started after Easter seem quite babylike and with the mass of the class being much younger the class feels 'wrong' for what I want to be paying for. Anyway I was talked into it being ok and assured that work would be differentiated for her, I still had my reservations though.

Now with the latest news I don't want her as the only Reception child in a class with just Nursery children, I would like her in the Yr1/Yr2 class. She knows all these children well and they are friends, earlier in the year Reception did do some stuff with Nursery, and they do PE together etc. It seems a case of her either being with the year younger or older, and I think older is best. Then there is the question of what happens at Yr 5/6. I could take both girls to a different school now but where at this late stage, and actually I am happy with the school for DD1.

AIBU?

I really am interested in hearing different viewpoints, I want to see if there is something I am not considering here.

Thats a good starting point for you then. That your other DD managed and with the school agreeing DD2 is an able child she should be able to too.

If you go with a positive future plan beyond Yr R, eg, does yr r with yr 1/2 and then yr1 and 2 with them, with the view more children may be enrolled and her current nursery pals will join her next year. Then she'll have 2 peers groups who she'll move through the school with alternatively being with 1 or the other.

I know that seems to make no sense but as you said earlier the school may be concerned about her losing a peer group, but with mixed classes it actually gives them a wider peer group which can only be a positive thing IMO.

youarekidding - yes I know she would be with one or the other year group, above or below, but I am concerned about the fact that she would never be with any other child consistently each year, like the odd one out! Yes I like the wider peer group and the school does have a great fanily feel to it.

verity - that's exactly it the child on her own, I don't think it will be good for her, other children may join her year but equally they may not.

Oh right sorry, I misunderstood. I thought it was the school saying she'd have to switch peer groups as a negative thing of why they won't move her.

However: with mixed yr1/2 and 3/4 then there is always a changing dynamic. Your DD will be no different.

This years yr2 will now be with this yrs yr3 and year 4 with year 5.

When your DD becomes yr 1 she will remain with her current yr 1 (your DD1 yr) as a peer group. I agree when she becomes yr 2 if shes the only child then she'll have her now nursery friends as peers again.

Although I totally see what your saying about your DD for the coming year eventually she will have a change of peers as she can't start secondary early.

Not an easy situation for you as a parent. What are the chances of anymore joining for year 2? Is this pretty much garunteed every year?

Oh sorry my post was completely different to verities

She has experience of this with a younger child whereas I was the child who moved and started secondary alone and found it hard.

Guess everyone has different experiences - some good some bad but we all survived.

Yes verity I think that is it she needs to basically move to Yr1.

If she stays in mixed Reception/Nursery next year she would still then move on her own to Yr1/2 the following year, or if she moves now but spends 3 years in the yr1/2 class she would have 2 years of DD1's year and then the third year back with the year below, so would have her classmates of 2 years move up without her.

When my DS1 was in Reception last year (state school) they realised early on that he was working ahead of his peers in literacy and numeracy, so he would go and join the Y1 class to do those subjects. His emotional maturity wasn't at the level of the Y1 children, so I think he benefited from being in Reception the rest of the time. Would something similar be an option for your DD?

Yes academically, theoretically that would work, but she'll still leave the year below to move classes the next year on her own, and so on every year her classmates will change with her being on her own. Actually I could see she may feel even more confused about where she 'belongs' amongst her peers.

Oh FFS I can't even think straight any more!

Yes I think that is what I am going to ask them to do, to move her up and for her to keep on moving up with the year above.

When I was at the school that is what I did, admittedly many many years ago, and I think it was more common then generally in schools. I think know it happens less and the school may be concerned about setting a precedent, and what will happen if other children do join her year in the furture. But I don't think that she should possibly suffer on the chance that others may join.

If she did move up permanantly she would be in the Year with DD1 who is a year older though, but then as the classes are all mixed I guess it is a bit different.

*permanently

Could they run a trial one way or the other for a term?

Re: yr 5/6 a girl in my year did y6 twice because she was younger.

Yes thanks, I think that may be a way to try and sell the idea to them, with the year above as I am sure it would work and then it could stay as it is.

This happened to a parent from my dd's class, she was the only child in reception, the school folded 4 months in taking everyone's money, some people had paid alot up front.
I wouldn't be happy, There is only 10 in my dd's class and i think it's a little small. Have a good look at the schools accounts too before you pay any money upfront.

Thanks but I don't have concerns about the finances, the school is heavily church funded.

It would be better for her confidence etc to stay with the reception class. To be the older child when usually she is the younger sibling. My son was taught in a mixed year one/reception class at one point but still rejoined all the top sets when he returned to a very able class 2 (containing older year 1's and all year 2's). It made no academic difference at all.

If she is really old in her year then maybe staying with year one might be better? Where does her birthday fall?

The point is that she is the Reception class, the only one.

You know your dd and the school also know her and seem to be happy with the way she is working and being friends with kids in the year older than her.

I'd get them to move her up into the Y1/2 class and then if she struggles in any way she won't have too many problems moving back down to the N/R class as she will already be academically a bit ahead of them as she is expected to be, given she is a year older and more experienced of the school.

However, if she is in N/R to start with, if she isn't challenged and doesn't progress very fast but gets bored or just plays then she may well find it much more of a struggle to move up into the next class as they will have been moving into the next level of learning.

My ds missed his first week and a half of Y1 thanks to chickenpox and it probably took him until well into the spring term until he felt settled into his class and 'got it'. That first week was when the teacher explained everything to them and transitioned them from the Reception way of doing things to the Y1 way. Even when I talked to her about it she was very dismissive of 'oh yes, he's caught up with the work' - turned out to be one sheet of paper with a few words scrawled on it. But she didn't get that he was one of the ones that really needed that transitioning as he adored the freedom and creative opportunities he had in reception, and has really struggled to be sitting down at a desk now for most of the day. His writing has got worse and his reading is not very good and he gets all worked up and frustrated doing it, which I am sure is partly down to this. Even the teacher commented at the end of last term that she finally 'got' him, that he was a different child now he had settled in.

Although there will be 3 years in one class, there are bound to be some that are good for their age and some that aren't so the teacher will be working across levels anyway so should be able to cope with your dd.

hope you manage to sort it out so you are happy with it.

Thank you zipzap, you're right if it's going to work she needs to be given a good chance of it working so I agree needs to be there from the start to be offered the same work as the Yr1s. And yes I know that there is a wide range in the Yr1/2 class and I believe that she will fit in to that range academically, but yes will need to be a part of the less play based Yr1 from the start.

I could see that the school may be concerned about how the practicalities of her still receiving the more play based learning of Reception are going to work, but I think perhaps they have to forget that and just move her in to Yr1, or she will still be the odd one out and not 'belong' in a year group with any other children.

Thanks everyone this is helping me to think about how to deal with this and explain my thoughts to the school.

It's a case of meausuring the value of play based learning against being the only child in reception and I think you're correct...that she'd be better in with a group who she can stay with.

Year 1 does still have some play based learning anyway.

As a reception child she should be learning through play which follows her interests. That means that there are various activities going on throughout the room and the children have the opportunity to explore them and develop their own understanding, often with the support of an adult and to take the activity to the upper limit of their understanding/ability. Each child learns something slightly different from each activity.
If the practice in the reception/nursery classroom is good (and it jolly well should be) your DD will have the opportunity to work at the level which suits her as an individual and the staff will be constantly looking for ways to extend her learning and challenge her.
For example, say they set up and airport in the role play area. The younger children might sit in the 'aeroplane' and talk about taking off and landing or what they can see from the windows. Your DD may be encouraged to look through travel brochures, write out tickets or find destination countries on a globe depending on where her interests lie.
That type of learning through play is far more valuable than sitting at desks following prescribed tasks because the motivation comes from the child who is keen to participate.
In year 1/2 classes the focus is far more on prescriptive tasks with much less freedom to explore their own interests. The learning through play ethos is beginning to filter it's way up the years but there's a lot of work to be done yet.
It doesn't matter what level a child is working at academically, reception children need to learn to be enthusiastic, capable and competent learners so they are set up well for the rest of their academic life. The best way to do this is to offer the type of activities available in a good Early Years setting like a nursery.
The staff have not decided that your DD should be working at the academic level of the reception children. They have decided that your DD would benefit from another year of freedom to direct her own learning before she begins to be restricted to the tasks set by a teacher. I would revel in that opportunity and not fight it if it were me because she likely to come out of the end of the process a far more resilient and motivated learner than if she were with year1/2.

I'm a teacher and I would have misgivings about her working with the nursery children. Especially if the staff agree she is not working below age-related expectations.
I would ask to have her moved to year 1. Speaking completely personally, I find it easier to differentiate 'down' than 'stretch' when it's only one or two children. Other teachers may think differently of course.

But I would be more worried about her starting secondary school all alone tbh. Are there Brownies groups and other out of school activities she can do with children her age? Just so she knows some of them.