To get angry at adult winding up young boy on point of crying?

[DutchGirly]

I was visiting friends last week whose little boy was being wound up by his uncle by stating 'he was such a girl and did he want a barbie for being soft?' The boy was getting very upset, frustrated and agressive only for his dad to hand the little boys objects to 'hit' his uncle with.

I was sitting there with my jaw on the floor, none of the adults did anything and I felt so uncomfortable with the little boy being so upset and the fact that 'violence' was being advocated as being acceptable,

I took little boy to his room to calm down. We read a story together and he told me he did not like his daddy and uncle anymore as they were not nice to him. My heart broke at that moment. I think I may have crossed a line there but I could not sit there and do nothing as the little boy was getting so agitated. I was disgusted by the parents not telling the adult to cut it out, as the boy was getting so frustrated that he had to lash out as he could not verbalise his emotions.

Was I out of line here?

I don't think these people would come close to being able to reflect on their behaviour to him. How sad he has to live like that. if you explained to the mother why you felt this was upsetting and confusing for the boy, do you think she'd understand?

No you weren't out of line. I wish someone had stood up for me when I was a child and my dad did this to me. I remember getting so angry and frustrated.

Good on you!

Rosie I am sad nobody stood up for you. I just got so angry I had to do something, I think they did get the point that I did not find this acceptable and funnily enough they did not try to mess around with me as I am far more eloquent than they are with a far sharper tongue.

I think it is just being a bully really.

That's horrible, YANBU. I highly doubt they would ever change their behaviour though.

My BIL can be a bit like this. He does not have children, nor does he have any understanding of them. My dh or I always step in and don't let it get to the point that you described. He and his wife have a similar dialogue between themselves. I could not live like that myself.

There can be alot of this kind of 'winding up' within families. I agree with puffling about having a bit of a chat with his Mum.

My ex and his family are like that. My ex FIL once wound my daughter up so much, calling her fat, teasing her about what she was eating (she was 8 at the time FFS). Apparantly they were all sat around laughing. She came home in floods of tears :( I was very very firm and told my ex if that ever happened again, he would not be taking the children there again.
Good reasons he and his family are ex, but hard as I can no longer protect my children from them.
Oh YANBU!

MacDoodle I can't imagine making fun of an eight year old, do they want to give her an eating disorder or something?

I bet they're not the slimmest either.