to ignore my friend

[CalmaLlamaDown]

..I have a friend who makes my heart sink, every time we speak she has a bitter rant about how crap her life is, phone calls are often at least one hour in duration and sometimes when i get off the phone i burst into tears of frustration! She is a Sahm, has loyal hardworking husband and a five yr old dd (who she calls a total bitch). Last week she had a strop because i am busy all weekend and can't meet up with her, she sent a nastyish text which i ignored, she has subsequently texted an apology which, again i have ignored because i have reached my limit as she is just so so needy all of the time. We have been friends for 12 yrs, have dc same ages and our DHs work together so don't want things to turn nasty. Am i being childish?

Sometimes when someone is so negative all of the time it brings us down and we just don't want to have to suffer it any more I think you have reached this place with your friend. She is never happy and just wants to moan.

I think the expression for someone like that is 'emotional vampire', cos they suck the joy out of everything.

I would have used the term "toxic friendship"... if having such a friendship destroys you then, stop it and move on, This is not a friend anymore.

I agree with the other posters, but wonder if your friend has any idea just how she comes across? Or why? Sounds like she is in a very bad place.

What do you get out of the friendship?

Mothermucca - good question! she was not always like this, has got progressively worse since giving up work and becoming a mum. she is so depressed, having counselling and on medication, i am just so sad that nothing is making her feel better. she has fallen out with several of her close family and now she is turnin nasty on me too. I will try and back off a bit as suggested but i will be in for a barrage of texts and voicemails...

Friends are friends for reason, season, or lifetime. I think her season may have finished.

If you can't deal with her then don't. I have a male aquaintence - when he is good, it's all great, but I just cant handle him when he's depressed because he makes me feel bad about myself. I've just accepted this is the way the relationship works and am supportive from a distance.