to refuse to get my DS a LAPTOP for his birthday ... He will be 7?

[fallenninja]

So conversation with darling eldest goes like this

son: "for my birthday I would like a laptop, and that play your own way harry potter game"
me: "what? urm youll be 7, 7 year olds dont have computers"
son: "but i need to google for school and play harry potter, and your always on your computer"
me: "urm go and play with the puppies" (this is my standard response to any discussion I dont want to have

So having pondered, im thinking no for a million reasons, mainly
a) shockingly expensive
b) hes 7

AIBU?

I wouldn't buy my seven year old a laptop. Way too young. Theres all sorts on the internet that is way too easy to access. At that age perhaps supervised on family pc
I'm same with tvs in bedrooms, I didn't have one in my room till I was at least 14/15. Yet I am aware of a child of 3 with one in their room and they will lie awake into the small hours watching dvds on it.
DP said we could do the same and didnt see the problem with it and didn't understand why I was so annoyed at the suggestion until I explained my reasonings and he sort of saw my point. She's not having a tv in her room that young, fair enough having a tv in the living room and letting them watch that for a bit here and there.
Anyway i trailed off there and the subject is supposed to be laptops! as I said I really don't think you are being unreasonable to tell him sorry but no. Maybe when you are older. Plus, what if he dropped it or spilled pop on it etc? They are expensive enough without having to repair/replace. Just my opinion I'm sorry if it comes off as a bit cruel.

YANBU

Some people may be fine with it, if money is no object etc etc, but YOU are his mum and you think it's a bad idea for your DS, so don't do it!

Please don't get him a laptop. My son got one at 14, followed by a TV in his room at 15.

What happened was that he gradually disappeared, and I've hardly seen him for the last two years. He only emerges from his room to eat and go to the bathroom, both of which he does as quickly as possible, avoiding all eye contact. He's forgotten our language and only communicates in grunts. His skin has changed colour from the healthy golden glow he used to have, to a sallow greenish-grey, spotted by angry red and white pimples, and you can see his bones through it. In fact he may even be changing species as he is now covered in thick fur and six inches taller than when he went in. None of his friends calls round any more.

He goes straight into his room as soon as he gets in from school and won't answer any of my questions about HW. I've lost all contact with his teachers - I'm not even sure what subjects he has chosen for Highers. Come to think of it, he might even have left as I haven't had to wash any uniform for a while.

In fact the only time I hear his voice these days is when he sings in the shower and laughs manically in his sleep.

Do you really want this to happen to your son??

If he has to share your computer, it limits him to times when you're not on it, and if it's in the sitting room you can monitor what he's doing. At the moment all he wants to do is HW and play games, but that will definitely may change.

Hope this helps.

fairydoll-my dd had an old pc in hre room when she was about 14-15.
It broke and we never replaced it 'cos at the time she was meant to be studying and it was a distraction in her bedroom.
So she used pc downstairs.
Then we got laptop which she has borrowed when she needs .We have 2 dc but 11 yrs apart so makes things easier as ds only 8 .
Also probably got away without her own as her A levels were ones that didn't involve lots of essays.

See, this is where I think the 'too young' argument can fall down. My ds has had a tv in his room since birth, not fully connected for tv, just dvds so I could watch something when endlessly breastfeeding him. Then he has some cartoon dvds on while he played, just background really. My TV is always on, from the moment I get up, as are the radios in kitchen and bathroom. I love music, have it everywhere. He has had access to laptops and playstations/ds since 4. He also has had access to sweet jar/biscuits and can help himself.

Now, I'm not some soft liberal parent with a philosophy. I just wanted to see how he could make decisions or learn from overdoing it and found out he actually self polices very well. Hardly ever on the laptop unless it's to make something/email, I set him up with club penguin as other kids at school discuss it, he found it pointless. He doesn't gorge himself on biscuits or sweets, there is no 'thrill' in finding them and getting a treat, the 'treat' is there for the taking. It's the way we were brought up. My mum believed if you rationed things you made them desired all the more and that could be wrose. Some of ds's pals come here and cannot stay away from the laptop/ds/playstaion/wii and biscuit jar, others are glued to the TV. It is a restricted pleasure for them, or they don't have access full stop.

It works well, for me at least, but should point out ds is my only child. He is playing chess online with his half brother right now. I'm happier with that than Chowder blasting into his face loudly. He is 7.

I wouldn't buy one for either of my dc and they will be 9 and 11 next month. We have 2 laptops in the house so they have plenty of access to them, and that is mostly for playing games as it is rare they have homework that needs internet access or to be typed up.

perfume I think you are lucky that he self regulates himself so well, which is a great quality but I think unfortunately for myself and many other parents our children don't and wouldn't do that.

My dc are allowed on laptop, wii etc for an hour or so a few times a day and if they want sweets/chocolate every day they can, but from past experience I know they would eat more than one bar/ pack a day and be on laptop/wii for many hours at a time if I didn't which in the end I don't think is good for them.

at Mellow.
I've got one of those too. He does emerge sometimes and can be quite nice.
He's also got a telly and a laptop but if he didn't I wouldn't be able to access MN the computer and would miss all my favourite tv.
He pops in on a Wednesday and watches The Apprentice with me so I know he's still here.

YANBU. My girls were secondary age (12&14) before got a PC for their room. They have to share between the two of them so they can't be on it 24/7 like some of their friends with laptops of their own. I monitor them often too as they could be on any site in their room. As their are 7 of us in the house and they get so much online homework, they really needed one at this time. but at 7 no way!

YANBU a laptop is a pricey present, but he is not far too young. MY DS is 6 and no he doesn't have his own laptop yet but I can see by this time next year he might have.

No it won't be in his bedroom and no he won't be unsupervised but he currently uses mine to do his homework and play his games and it would be sooo much more convenient if he had his own.

I think its easy to get hung up on technology being a negative thing everything they do in my son's classroom is now computer based - they don't even put there hands up anymore in some classes they just have little pods and press a button and use touch screen white boards to select the answersto questions from. Personally I love technology and as long as we could afford to wouldn't mind DS having a laptop for his 7th birthday next year.

We did n't get our first pc til DD1 was @7, however since then I have noticed how much school has changed. She is now 19 (own laptop), DS (15) has my old laptop and I have newish one. However DD2 (7) has to use computer for school (she has her homework set via internet, some is work to be written in homework books but often it is online ie Mathletics ) and our old pc no longer has internet access (long story) so she is using my laptop more and more (in fact had best check homework for this week when posted this) so we are currently debating whether to get new pc (primarily for DD2's use) or laptop (or let her borrow mine - depriving me of MN etc)

yanbu.. i'm thinking of getting ds one for his 10th birthday in november but mostly because he has one at school (he has sen) so he would be able to do his homework etc on it, i'll probably get him the same netbook as mineas you can put a limit on usage and it will only unlock for him at certain times :)

YABU. Primary schoolers need their own Laptops/Netbooks/PCs.

How on earth do you expect a 7 YO to write their dissertation without one? :)

Don't know if anyone has put this but just check laptop will actually play the game he likes. All to do with graphics cards and such things!

Schools have to offer use of the PC suite to children as they are not permitted to assume every family has a computer. Most libraries offer free Internet access to members, if you are still lucky enough to have a library of course:(

If you do not want your son to have a laptop, don't get him one. Your child, your choice.

My kids range in ages from 2 junior and 1 senior @ school. No lap tops, no nintendo crap, 1 mobile phone for the eldest, no TV's in rooms just one family TV, no hand held games (unless you include bop it). One family computer for homework - they take turns and have to book it first (to make them share!) Are my children deprived? I just cannot understand the need to buy ever more complicated bits of kit for kids. Fair enough a computer for homework when they are at senior school but what is it about buying all these gadgets and gizmo's for them. We have our own computer for work and they have theirs where i can see it so i know what they are doing / looking at. Yes Fairy doll i know there are family pressures for computers but kids have to plan what they do and fit in when you are a larger family. I ought to start a new thread - where will buying all this technology end. it certainly isnt sustainable in all senses of the word

sorry haven't read whole thread but DD1 is 7 and 4 of her close friends now have their own laptop.
i won't get her one because i want to remain in full control of her usage.
i don't want her taking it upstairs, i want her on the computer in the kitchen/living room where i can hear/see what she is playing on, plus it is easier to get her off it by telling her i need it for a minute. If it is hers it'll end up like the ds, negotiating, me saying 5 more minutes blah blah which is just too painful and dull.

solved the problem by me getting an ipad for my birthday so the computer is more available, but still "mine" and not "hers".

actually the laptop isn't really seen as "mine" but "the family's". Same as the TV. Same as the garden.

yanbu. its too young. give him a log on on yours with limits.

Before I had children I thought that I would restrict access to such things. However, my 4 year old likes playing the nintendo brain training and can now to basic adding and subtracting. He thinks it is fun, which is great considering that he starts reception in September.

My 2 year old loves doodling on the iPad, and can navigate himself around it easily.

I do wonder what this generation will achieve. I think they will see applications for IT in ways we cannot possibly imagine. I don't allow them totally free access, there are plenty of muddy walks and active play.

I really don't think any primary school child needs their own laptop for school work.

I'd be inclined to get a laptop for family use (as an extra computer), not as a present for a 7 year old. That way you get to monitor use, avoid it being squirrelled away in a bedroom or becoming the cause of grief because it won't be shared with a sibling. Laptops/netbooks are pretty cheap these days and it's very useful to have more than one computer in the house.

If he wants one to be able to play games on it would end up being fairly pricey as you need a good graphics card etc. Has he asked because friends at school have one?

If you use the computer as he says, buy yourself a laptop and let him have more range on the computer!

Probably a bit young at 7 I completely agree.

But for those wanting to get laptops at an affordable price (under £100), we've bought two reconditioned ones in the last year and they're great. One was for dd when she started senior school and it's been fantastic .