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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think i wont be getting a pony for my pfb because he is a boy?

86 replies

catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 19:38

I love horses and have some of my own and if DC was a girl would be straight out to get her a pony. AIBU to not want to get a pony for a boy and thinking its a "girls" thing? Of course I know loads of boys (and men) ride - I am not saying it is a "girls" sport, but having a pony, going to pony club etc all feels more like something I would do automatically and from day 1 with a girl, but not with a boy. If he expresses an interest then fine but its not a given like it would be with a girl (even though I know she might have turned out to detest riding and a boy might turn out to be the finest rider the world has ever seen)

OP posts:
FjorgynAndHotWater · 24/06/2011 19:55

I want a pony too

Riveninside · 24/06/2011 19:55

When i was young i used to dream i would get a horse. And wish and wish.
Sigh

PelvicFloor0fSteel · 24/06/2011 19:56

DS loves horses (so far, he is only 3) and really enjoyed the pony ride he had when we were on holiday. I am torn between being pleased that he enjoys something I like and thinking we will never be able to afford it if he becomes really enthusiastic. It never occured to me to worry about it because he was a boy Grin

MoreBeta · 24/06/2011 19:58

This is a bit of an odd thing I must admit and I don't think sexist.

When I was a boy I always had ponies and went to pony club but even back then it was mostly dominated by girls with just a few boys. Now DS2 is interested in riding and has been a few times but last time he said it was all girls and he doesn't want to go again.

I don't know why it does seem to be dominated by girls. It seems a shame to me that more boys don't get chance to ride. That said, at the highest adult level of show jumping and eventing it seems to even up between men and women.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 19:59

I know I am being unreasonable. Just wondered if anyone else had found themselves being unreasonable too even though they knew it was totally unfounded and wrong. Am normally fairly sane

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 20:01

Thanks MoreBeta. Its not that I have fixed views on this is a girls think this is a boys thing - just for some reason on riding feel more inclined to get into it early with a girl.

I feel sad I feel this way but wonder if the fact it is still very girl dominated (at the grass roots level) means I am not the only one

OP posts:
jcscot · 24/06/2011 20:02

Both my husband I ride - and we can't wait to get our eldest son on a horse. We have to wait until he is five to get him lessons (although he could go earlier if we were still living on the patch instead of on civvie street). It's a brilliant thing to do for either sex.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 20:04

Can I ask why you have to wait till 5? I started lessons at 18 months but that was a looooong time ago so just wondered if things had changed a 5 was now a "standard" age at riding schools?

OP posts:
pinkhebe · 24/06/2011 20:04

My son (11) would love a horse

MsTeak · 24/06/2011 20:05

because the social conditioning is strong, and you have strong subconcious views on it. Thats fine, but the next thing to do is challenge them, and over-ride your instinct, because it is a bit silly. But you know it is U, so you are half way there.

MoreBeta · 24/06/2011 20:06

I don't know if it is just something girls want to do much more than boys or if it is their parents that make it happen.

You could easily say the same about soccer. Young girls are less inclined to play and I wonder if it is that more young boys are interested or that parents influence that.

I wonder if more women have time to ride recreationally than men so girls see it as 'something Mummy does' and they want to copy?

Mutt · 24/06/2011 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Indigojohn · 24/06/2011 20:10

My son rides, my daughters ride.
My son is the only boy in his riding class and loves it. He's a great little rider and has his own pony which he belts round on!

YABU. And sexist and a bit silly.

Mandy2003 · 24/06/2011 20:11

It rather depends whether he likes horses or not. Two choices here:

  1. Get yourself a pony.
  2. Get him a llama.
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 20:11

It is silly MsTeak. I will try and over-ride it. I do wonder if a boy would be more inclined to give up riding as he might be the "only boy" doing it and feel uncomfortable - which again is a real shame but I think possibly a fairly likely reality. There are no boys at all on the large-ish yard I keep my horses and only 1 man I think. The rest of the owners are all women which makes very little sense but is the way it is

OP posts:
Henrythehappyhelicopter · 24/06/2011 20:16

The other assumption you make is that if you have a girl she will like the things you liked.

I soon found out that wasn't true.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 20:20

Oh I know - I can totally imagine a girl turning round and giving me (and the poor pony) a look of total disdain...

I guess deep down I wanted as pony when I was a little girl and want to re-live that through a child (although why only female child I dont know. am terrible parent already.

At least I recognise my crapness so have half a hope of reining it in (no pun intended)

OP posts:
jcscot · 24/06/2011 20:31

"Can I ask why you have to wait till 5?"

The local riding schools won't take children younger than five because of insurance. We don't currently have the land to have horses ourselves and I don't have as much time to ride as I'd like (three children aged four and under and a husband who is away from home a lot) otherwise he'd get some time on horseback.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 20:34

Oh I see. I expect people didnt bother with insurance when I started it was that long ago! I expect it is the same pretty much everywhere then for lessons which is a shame as it seems late to start them really. :(

OP posts:
Pumpernickel10 · 24/06/2011 20:37

I started riding when I was 6 and still ride every weekend. DH as his motorbike and I've got my Orlando :) DD started when she was 7 and loves it too. It a great thing to do for any family

Pumpernickel10 · 24/06/2011 20:39

Insurance is a must, you'd me mad not to have it.

TurkeyBurgerThing · 24/06/2011 20:42

My DS1 (5) showed no interest in ponies at all. He'd come and help me with my horses every so often but other than that, if it didn't have wheels he didn't want to know, until we got offered a section A on loan for DD (3)! Now all of a sudden he's pretty keen.

There are alot of girls involved more than boys I understand exactly where you're coming from and I don't think you're being sexist at all. So many boys grow out of it. I suspect that my son will too and if he does then fine it's no problem, he can do it for as long as he wants. DD on the other hand cries every time I manage to drag her off a pony!

Can you try him with a few lessons first? How about getting a loan yourself? What are your horses like?

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 24/06/2011 20:42

Oh I have insurance for me as a rider and for my horses and would insure children of course - I meant it waas so long ago that I learnt to ride that places probably didnt really bother so much and thats why you could start a lot earlier.

OP posts:
chillistars · 24/06/2011 20:46

feel free to buy one for my daughter then! j/k

Joolyjoolyjoo · 24/06/2011 20:51

You would be being unreasonable to buy a pony for any child, boy or girl, unless you knew that he/she enjoyed riding as a pastime! Has your ds been on a pony?

YABU to be sexist about it, I guess. But def NBU to not buy a pony!

Why not just burn £10 notes instead?!