to think that you can either have a clean, tidy and uncluttered house OR happy children but not both?

[GreenTeapot]

Or can you manage both? How do you do it?

Look have I gone mad? Lequeen do you or do you not own a hairdressers?

This year youngest DD turns 4 and life is not perfect but tidier. Small children take up far more tiime then big ones. Things can wait for a minute and be combined rather then having to constantly be ready to react to a dirty nappy.

During bath time, I can now be in the same room but fold a towel or put a a spare loo roll out whilst they splash around, impossiable a couple of years ago.

A friend with a 6 & 4 year old has an immaculate house and i know she winces at mine. I looked after her child with mine yesterday and we made cakes then got the paints out, after painting each others hands and feet, they then decided to strip off and explore the dressing up box all before elevenses.
The house looks like a bomb hit it, footprints all over the kitchen floor, loads of washing but everyone was happy and we have some great pictures hanging around drying.

My friend, who is different to me, does n't have any paints in the house but leaves that to nursery. The tv is allowed on all day and she cleans whilst DD is sat in front of it not making any mess. Does n't bake but goes to the park loads.

There has to be a balance, I don't think a tidy house happens magically, my friend and I are not sat on our arses all day but with small children you have to decide whether to spend the time involved with your child making a mess or whether for your sanity you reach a higher level of cleanliness eg.no crumbs in cutley drawer and play mostly outside the home environment.

If you have small children, no time and a messy house do not dispair, little pockets of time appear as they get older.

Leq cross posts.

Thank God. I thought I had gorn completely mad. I had always pictured you perfectly groomed snipping fringes with the precision of engineering .

Can some not acknowledge though that there is a third way that involves being completely unable to cope with it?

Some of us don't want to be slatterns, it's just the way it has to be. Doesn't mean I like it.

Hilarious thread! Op, it depends on so many things - what sort of child/ age they are etc. We have one downstairs room (am I allowed on mumsnet???!) so the idea of having childfree rooms has made me giggle. We are nowhere near as tidy as we were before dc, but we were anally tidy then. Now - well, I'm a SAHM with two pre-schoolers, so of course its not as tidy as it was - sooooo much more tidying, cleaning, washing, cooking etc than when you're out all day. Interesting how many on this thread have school age children, cleaners, large houses etc. Or all of them! I think (hope!) we have a happy medium most of the time.

wordfactory - I thought a nail bar but then got confused into thinking she was a librarian. Now a tidy librarian I can understand.

It's funny how you pick up little snippets of others lives on here...and convince yourself that you've the right picture of them isn't it?
MNers often come to me as fully as my characters...I wouldn't dare ever meet them for fear of being wrong and spoiling things.

Beta you are a financial analyst right?

I don't think it's necessarily possible to cope with all the worst bits of the housework v. kids issue with no outside help and do it all perfectly.
That's where tactics like having child-free rooms come in.
I don't have child-free rooms, I don't have a cleaner or any help around the house.
I also don't have any pets, or ornaments, don't do ironing, and have adequate storage and routines that are starting to work.
We've been in all day and DS has made a jolly good mess. But it will be tidy enough very soon.

I'll repeat what I posted earlier on the thread because I think it's critical in the hopelessly slatternly recovering - my standards were higher than I could achieve so I didn't bother. Now that I just try and do what I can, the house is livable.

And getorf is something to do with planes?

glitter, you are right if you feel low then it is difficult to motivate yourself (but then you feel even lower, it is a circle ).

You said that you need a big tackling and then it would be easy to keep up. Is any student in your street who could do that now on summer holidays? Any nephiew/niece ?

If someone does a big sorting out then you will feel better. What about your dh?

Are you in London?

I knew LeQ was a university Librarian, in my head she is a pretty woman with the lugubriousness of Phillip Larkin.

Beenbeta is a geeeeeeeeenius

Yes word I used to work with aeroplanes, I work with with particle accelerators now

Coooool. I wish I'd done science.

FINE then.

I think it depends how old your children are, and how many you have. Some of the posters on here have children who are 6 plus, which is very different in the mess made/comprehension of clearing up stakes than those with toddlers.

Don't beat yourself up if the place gets messy and you have toddlers. Its life.

Beta definitelt wears glasses, is tall, darkhaired, slim and walks with a stoop. Ver' well spoken. Wears tweed and handmade shoes.

Yes, definitely cords.

I expect he has very smart socks as well, and I bet his wife does not steal them either.

wordfactory - yes I work at home with DW 50% SAHD and 50% as a sort of financial analyst. I don't wear glasses now because I paid a man to scrape the front of my eyes off and shoot lasers into them about 2 months ago. My wife also steals my socks to wear in bed.

GetOrf of course wears power suits, killer heels and takes no nonsense from a team of scientists/engineers she runs and tells them off a lot if they drop any dust in the particle accelerator.

LeQueen definitely wears a twinset, pearls, a bun in her hair, specs on a gold chain and is veeery strict about neatness, proper filing and deadlines.

GetOrf's hair stands on end from mad science lab work.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=bostonteen.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/van-de-graaff-generator-girl-hair-stand-on-end.jpg&imgrefurl=bostonteen.wordpress.com/2011/06/07/the-van-de-graaff-generator-part-2/&usg=__rC4qPIQF16E6p80gja777qmNCsc=&h=372&w=320&sz=11&hl=en&start=0&sig2=kZGCc8IUoASNCph-4Zoyag&zoom=1&tbnid=1rAnULd-_ga5mM:&tbnh=125&tbnw=108&ei=pKAETv3MIszC8QP85azoDQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dboston%2Bvan%2Bde%2Bgraaff%2Bgenerator%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-gb:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7ADFA_en%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D556%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divns&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=558&vpy=199&dur=62&hovh=242&hovw=208&tx=106&ty=249&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:0&biw=1366&bih=556" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Particle acc. 1940s style

lol at you lot.

You are not wrong about the heels and Alexis Colby suits beta